Without A Doubt

Chapter 52.

"Liv?"

"Are you okay?" As I held the phone to my ear I realized I was holding my breath.

"Mayson. I need you to pick me up. Please come get me."

"I'll be there in 10 minutes." She said okay and with that I hung up the phone and raced to my car. I felt an anxiousness radiating in my chest. It felt like my body was shaking. Trembling. An electric pulse coursing through my neurons causing my muscles to contract. I pushed the feeling away and hurriedly drove to Liv's house. As I drove the thoughts were silent. The only thing I could focus on was the fact that I needed to get there faster. I needed to be there already. She needs me. I was almost at her house when a car pulled in front of me. The car was going 35 in a 40. Granted I was going 54 in a 40. I felt all my anger start to burn through me, taking over like a shadow. I cursed and screamed because I didn't know what else to do. I couldn't pass them because there was another car in the lane next to me. I'm trapped.

I took a couple deep breaths and tried to calm down, but Liv kept popping in my head. The way her voice sounded on the phone made my blood run cold. She sounded, heartbroken. There's no other word to describe the way she sounded. I kept myself from worrying about the possibilities as to what was going on by focusing on the fact that I would see Liv in 4 minutes. 3 if this fucking car would move out of the way.

By the time I reached Liv's house I was shaking. Whether it was from anxiousness or an overwhelming sense of joy to get to her, I didn't know. All I knew was that I needed to see her. I sent her a quick text saying I was here and parked. I didn't see the other car in the drive way until I had already parked in front of her mailbox. In the driveway was a white BMW. It was a car though, not a mom van like Jackie's. The thoughts started to fill my mind. I pushed them away. 

I got out of the car so I could get to her faster. Walking to the door I felt my breath start to catch in my throat. The air just felt heavy. I could feel my feet digging into the ground with every step I took. Like I weighed an incredible amount more now than I did a moment ago. I felt like I was walking in slow motion. Like no matter how hard I tried I couldn't get to the door fast enough. Like everything around me was moving at a normal speed, but I was caught in some sort of time altering state.

When I reached the door, I picked up my hand to knock. Before my knuckles had even come close to the wooden door, it opened. Standing in front of me was a woman about the same age as my mom. As I looked at her I realized she's Liv's mom. I could tell because they shared the same piercing green eyes. Although her mom's face was rounder than Liv's. It had more signs of age and tiredness that came with what I assume was the stress of adulthood. Adulthood, and maybe walking out on your family.

We stood there in the door way staring at each other for just a second. I felt my blood start to boil at the thought of everything this woman had put Liv through. My angry flame was quickly extinguished at the realization that it was none of my business. Although I know my eyes gave away my anger. I saw movement behind the woman and then saw a girl. Maybe a year or two younger than Liv and I. She was small with brown hair and brown eyes. I have no idea who she is. I stepped back and watched as Liv's mom and this girl walked out of the house to what I'm assuming is their car. Neither of them gave anymore acknowledgement than was necessary to my presence as they left. I preferred it that way. As soon as I turned around to go into the house Liv came up to me and wrapped her arms around me. Her grasp on me was so tight that if it had been anyone else I would have pushed them off. Instead though I hugged her back and waited for her to detach herself from me.

"Let's go." Her voice came out strong, but it was just a façade. Her eyes gave away how broken she felt. I felt my muscles contract.

"Okay." I grabbed her hand and led her to my car. I turned it on with my keys and then walked to her side of the car and opened the door for her. As she got in I saw the white BMW pulling out of the driveway. I felt myself glaring at it, and for a split second I made eye contact with her mom. Her face was almost emotionless, but she had the slightest inclination of judgment in her expression. I pushed the thoughts that were brewing to the back of my mind and focused on Liv. I closed her door and walked around to my side.

I didn't ask where we were going because I knew there wasn't a destination. I felt uncomfortable. I felt irritated and almost angry. I have no idea what is going on. I don't know why her mom was here or who that girl was. All I know is that the girl I love is sitting next to me crying as she looks anywhere except for me. I reached down and grabbed Liv's hand. She wouldn't look at me, but she held my hand anyways. I know she doesn't like for me to see her cry. Or for anyone to see her cry. I got the sense that she felt almost ashamed of something. I didn't know what of though.

As I drove I had on my 'Say The Words' playlist. That's just what I call it. I don't have a rhyme or reason for the name. It's a lot of The Fray, The Script, some James Bay. Stuff like that. It broke me to see Liv like this. Although I was sort of glad that it wasn't me who was making her cry.

I kept driving. Down every back road. I took us to the elementary school, to the middle school, and all the way to the high school. I drove the back way to my house, but passed it because I knew she didn't want to stop. I drove us to the library and then towards the park. I didn't know what else to do. I just held on to her hand and let her cry as I drove. After a couple of hours, I drove us to back to the park. I had already driven us to the other side of town, back to the high school. When we got to the park I drove to a spot I like that's secluded but not in a 'I'm about to get murdered' sort of way. I looked down at my free hand and saw that it was shaking. I didn't feel like I was going to have an attack though. I just felt, worried.

When I finally let myself look at Liv I could see the tears still flowing freely. The tension in between us was suffocating, but I kept breathing. I gently brought my free hand to her cheek and with the gesture asked her to look at me. When she did though the greenness of her eyes almost looked like it had dulled. There wasn't the same glow to them that there normally is. The tears falling only clouded her eyes more. With my thumb I wiped away some of the tears and then tucked the hair that was falling over her face behind her ear. I was scared to speak. I don't know why, but I was. She was just staring at me, or should I say through me. I forced myself to say the words I'd been thinking for the past two hours.

"Liv. What happened?" She slightly shook her head and looked to the left of me as I saw more tears fall. I brought her into me and held her as close as I could seeing as the center console was between us. I don't know what happened. And all I want to do is fix it. But I know that's out of my control. No matter how much I hated it. I can't fix what happened. All I can do now is hold her and make her feel safe.