𝐌𝐨𝐫𝐩𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐞 ✦ 𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐬

'E'

( Lonely Hearts Club )

[ Y/n ]

— TW: self harm —

I sat alone at my lunch table, ignoring everyone around me. I don't know where Boris is and honestly, I don't really care.

Theo's not coming back but what the fuck can I do about that. I poked at my Mac-and-cheese for a moment before scooping it into my mouth. "Y/n." I looked up and rolled my eyes at Boris. "Let's go."

I ignored him and started to eat more. "Now." I stabbed my fork into my food and stood up, Boris was fidgeting with his clothes and looked worse than usual.

He grabbed my wrist and pulled me out of the lunchroom. We walked out of the school through a back exit, not catching anyone's attention.

"Boris what. I don't want to talk to you." "So don't. Just listen. I- I am so so sorry. You are my princess and you always will be. What you saw it was mistake. She made move to me. I was drunk too. It will never happen again."

We walked away from school, into town. Boris was limping but I chose to ignore it. "Boris I really don't care what it was and what it wasn't. That's the second time you've cheated."

He gripped my wrist, holding me in place. "So you won't take me back?" I shook my head. "Never?" "Never in a million years."

He sighed and kept his head down. "You're sure?" I shrugged. "Yeah, I guess."

"NO! No... No guessing. You have to know. Is there a chance or not?" I was taken aback by his outburst. "Why? What's it matter?" He choked on tears and started to cry.

"I need to know because I need to make big decision. It cannot be made if you're not sure."

I tensed up and remembered the last time we broke up. I grabbed his wrist and pulled his sleeve up. He cried harder and pulled his arm.

I stared at the dozens of cuts that littered his wrist, all the way up to his elbow. "Boris..." I whispered, looking up at him.

I pulled his sleeve back down and started to walk towards the abandoned buildings we hung out in with Theo.

We got there and I kicked a window in, crawling inside. Boris came in after me. This house had beer cans all over the floor, we'd already hung out here.

I pulled Boris into a room that wasn't in the front of the house and stood there. "Everything except your underwear off." I demanded.

He shook his head and wiped his tears. "I can't... You'll be disappointed in me just like everyone else."

I sighed and pushed him on the floor. I sat on his stomach while he struggled against me. "Please, stop. Don't do this. Stop." He cried.

"Boris you do it or I do it. It's all coming off either way." He sobbed and shook his head. I nodded and unbuttoned his jeans, pulling them off.

Boris almost never zipped his pants up.

I pulled them down to his knees and sighed. He had so much on his thighs. Burn marks, bruises, scratches, cuts, carvings, and even a shard of glass.

"I'm going to take this out." I told him. "Leave it in!" He cried. "Boris it's just hurting you-" "That's the point." The sentence came out strained, he was in so much pain.

I pulled it out and tossed it aside. I filled around and stared at him. He kicked his legs and I looked at his arms. They remained by his side.

Boris was scared to fight back because he was scared he'd hurt me. He explained it to me once. He'll flail around and try to get my off like that but he would never use his arms to force me off.

I sat up a little and he started to flail around. I pulled his shirt up and sat back down. "O-o-ow." He cried. I looked down at his stomach and noticed a variety of injuries there as well.

"I'm sorry Boris." I whispered moving myself up. Boris kicked his legs as I pulled his shirt off his body.

He started to move his arms so I couldn't grab so instead I grabbed his shoulders and then his bicep.

I looked down at his arms and noticed how there were well over 100 cuts on him. He gave up and leaned his head on its side, crying.

I stood up and looked down at him. It was sickening the condition he was in. He continued to cry, gasping for air. "Boris..." I whispered. He ignored me and continued to cry.

"Boris." I repeated a little louder. "Boris!" He looked over at me and sniffled. "I- I honestly don't know what to say to you except you can't kill yourself."

I sat next to him and looked at his thighs. There were some carvings in Russian I couldn't read. "Hey, what do these say?"

He shook his head and covered his eyes. "Boris I'm not fucking playing with you. What'd you write?"