Premonitions | ✓

thirty-one

 "Immigrant Song" -Led Zeppelin

The first weekend of September was Anna's favorite. 

     Whether she found it silly or not, she both loved and dreaded her birthday. When she was a child, she would have a party for all the milestone birthdays like ten, thirteen, and sixteen. 

     But they were never extravagant. She'd invite three of her closest friends, whereas her mother would invite the family, not to mention her step-dad's weird work friends, and since Anna's family was so large, most of the time, she had no idea who half the people were.

     It was later on, once she was grown and her birthdays seemed to be unimportant to the ones around her, that her parties were only a reason for the adults to have a good time and drink. Singing happy birthday had become a chore.

     When she turned eighteen, she went out for dinner with the immediate family where everyone fought the entire time. Her nineteenth and twentieth were celebrated alone for many had forgotten. And her twenty-first was spent at her favorite restaurant with only her and her aunt.

     After that, her birthdays were continuously forgotten, and Anna felt unimportant. Some of them were spent by her going out to grab her free ice cream birthday scoop alone and then drinking herself to sleep. But, when she met Lars, for her twenty-sixth, Lars and his father threw her a surprise birthday party at their tiny apartment.

     Anna had hugged the life out of them and even shed a tear. They bought her a small ice cream cake, her favorite, that had two big candles with the number of her age. There was even a sparkler. Anna remembered how badly her cheeks hurt from smiling so much. After the pasta and cake were half-eaten, Lars' father went to bed, and the two of them went to the local pub.

     She remembered drinking and dancing her lights out with Lars and some other friends she had from college. Lars even invited some guys he used to hang out with in high school who still lived in town. 

    The bar was hopping, and many people wished Anna a very happy birthday. 

     Some even bought her drinks.

     Lars had driven her back to campus once he was sober enough where he listened to her screech Led Zeppelin's "Immigrant Song" which included the incessant giggling had driven him mad, but in a good way. For Anna's thirtieth, it was just them alone. Lars had planned to take her on a birthday lunch for her special day landed on a weekend that year.

     It was warm, so the couple dressed comfortably for the weather, for being outdoors, and also for being on the back of Lars' Harley. So, jeans, boots, and leather jackets. Anna was happy. After their talk, Anna was to work on becoming more aware of their life as a couple and not just surrounded by herself.

     Although Lars was glad she was happy again and excited for her birthday, her constant need to ask him how he was doing, if he was feeling okay, etc. was driving him up the wall. He appreciated her, more than one could imagine, but it had become annoying. He talked to Anna about it, and she was able to back off, but now she felt like she was walking on eggshells.

     The problem was quickly resolved when Lars had shown her his dominance one night. He had blown a gasket when she kept pestering him, "Are you sure, you're doing okay? We weren't able to do anything to recognize your father's passing, and I want you to be able to-"

     He threw his hands in the air but brought them down quickly to pull at his hair in frustration, "Anna, just-" He cut off to let out an exasperated breath, "I'm fine okay? Please stop bringing it up when I've told you time and time again that I am fine."

     They had both just gotten home from work, where Anna had a hard day with new students and not to mention how she started the semester off poorly. Lars himself had a rough day to a late shipment, not to mention the project he was behind on.

     "I'm sorry, Larry Bird," Anna mumbled as she sat at the end of the couch, pulling off her ankle boots.

     Lars sighed as he leaned down in front of her, semi pushing the roll-away coffee table so he could be fully in front of her. He grabbed her hand that was reaching for the last shoe, kissing her palm so delicately it sent a jolt through her. She gasped to herself at the feeling and watched as he smiled up at her as he slipped off her other boot.

     He took it off so slowly that when it brushed the bottom of her foot, it tickled, making her let out a small giggle. Lars dropped the shoe onto the rug before launching himself on her, kissing her feverishly, making sure to rub his overgrown beard all over her face and neck to excite her.

     "I'm sorry, Muffin. I love you and appreciate you always checking in on me," he mumbled into her neck as he laid them down on the corduroy couch.

     Anna ran a hand through his wild locks, scratching his scalp and smirking at his groan of approval, "I love you too, bubs," she whispered.

      Lars smiled at the memory as he zipped them through the highway to the redwoods. They drove in silence, music playing through their helmets, but they just enjoyed the ride. Once they arrived at their destination, Lars and Anna set up their picnic by laying out a checkered blanket, grabbing their teas and sandwiches.

     Lars had finished his food before her and watched as she only had a quarter of it left. He knew she wasn't going to finish it. She never finished her food, and gave him the last bit. She laughed when he just reached over and took a fat chomp out of the deli meat.

     When all the food and drinks were finished, they lied on their backs, Anna curled into his side, and their legs tangled together as they watched the clouds move above them. Lars broke the silence first, "Do you want kids, Anna?"

     His question didn't surprise her. If anything, she was astonished at how long it took for him to bring up the subject. 

     She sighed, playing with his shirt before answering, "Do you?"

     "Since you would be the one cooking them...I think you should answer first," He replied smartly.

      "I don't know..." 

     Her eyebrows creased together as she truly thought about it, "As you know, I practically had to raise my brothers since my mom was too busy raising other people's kids. I have grown up around kids my entire life, and I was certain on one thing," she paused to sit up, looking out into the redwood forest to hide herself from his view, "I never wanted kids."

     Never. Lars didn't know why, but the moment she said it, it hurt. He had been wanting to ask her the question since they met, since he knew she was the one for him. He had gone through all of the possible outcomes of her answers and told himself that they would be just as happy with or without kids. But, when she said it, a pang went through his heart. 

     He sat up to look at her as she picked at the blanket beneath them.

     "But, I thought when I was younger that if I met the perfect person, someone to grow old with, who would love everything about me, even the hard stuff, then yeah...I would have a buttload of kids," she sent him a grin, one that made her blush because she knew exactly how he was looking at her without even seeing his face.

      "How many?" He asked in a whisper.

      She looked up at him then, with a mischievous smile, "Four."

      Lars laughed, running a hand down his beard, "Jesus, I love you, woman."