Premonitions | ✓

thirty-eight

"Funeral" -Phoebe Bridgers

Anna sat at the end of the full-size bed, the one Lars had made that morning like he always did. 

     Anna ran a hand down the warm-colored quilt, feeling every stitch, outlining the flowers. She looked up into the large wooden mirror, staring back at her was none other than her sad self. 

     Anna was mourning.

     The dark circles under eyes, the ones she had tried to conceal, told everything. How exhausted Anna was, how sleep never came, and how much she had cried over the loss. Anna then stood, still gazing into the mirror, and pushed back her curls. No matter how upset she was, Anna made herself look presentable.

     She wasn't about to walk around looking disheveled.

     Anna had spent the morning curling and pinning her long brown locks, letting the rolls pinned to her skull set while doing light makeup, just enough to hide the darkness around her eyes, mascara, and lipstick. 

     She even added some color to her cheeks with shakey hands. She had brushed out the curls, dressed in all black, slipping on her small dark sunglasses before walking downstairs to meet the rest of the family.

     In the living room was her husband, aunt, uncle, and younger cousins, all dressed in black. Anna put a clammy hand in her dark trousers, clearing her throat when she opened the hallway door, all eyes turned to her, and the room became silent.

     Lars was speaking to Aunt Lynn and her husband while he carried the sleeping two-year-old boy. Lars walked over to his wife with her baby cousin in his strong arms. Anna didn't look up at her husband at first, running a hand through the blonde hair of the sleeping boy, letting out a long sigh. Only when Lars repeated himself another two times did she look up into his pale blue eyes.

     "I'm sorry," Anna whispered, "What did you say?"

     "The family is ready to go to the church. If you aren't, I can always stay behind, and we can meet them there...?"

     Anna shook her head, her vintage-style curls and waves wooshed around her, "No, let's go get this over with."

     Lars only nodded down at her once before they both began to help get the kids situated in the car and then head to the church. Her grandmother never wanted a funeral, Anna even made a joke about having a barbeque if she didn't want a funeral, and even then, her grandmother refused. She didn't want to be buried. She didn't want a celebration of life. Once she left, that's what it was supposed to be. 

     She was gone, and that was the end of it.

     People all over the world, the ones who were still alive, had come to the funeral in San Diego. The Catholic church the family had grown up in was at mass capacity. The immediate family was upfront for the ceremony. Many close friends and family members read from the Bible, Anna read a poem she had written for her grandmother, her aunt and mother read from the big book as well.

     After the funeral, everyone had gone down to the hall below the church where large amounts of food were to be served. Anna was running around the place, Lars couldn't keep track of her, so he stayed with her cousin Kat, who after a few drinks was able to see the wedding band on Lars' thick finger. 

     Kat then gained the attention of their family with her excited screams.

     Anna was the one who planned her grandmother's funeral, just like she had for her grandfather's. It was a lot of work, but it gave Anna something to do so she wouldn't have a meltdown.