Fate (DISCONTINUED)

XI

NAIB
Inside a totally dark void I opened my eyes, with no one to lean on, and nothing to see.

Placing a hand on my head, to a whole new shock I came as the crimson substance still made its presence.

All the voices I have been dealing with made its way back, this time rendering me unable to do anything.

As the darkness consumed me, I let out a scream, for something that only my mind feels is happening.

Why... is everyone gone?

.
"Again, Aesop. He did WHAT?!"

The embalmer, being a man of few words, gave nothing but a slight shrug and a brief nod before barging back to his room, letting the door close behind him in the process.

I said nothing as Eli kept on knocking Aesop's door, hoping for the Embalmer to at least say something as validation for the thing he had stated earlier.

"Aesop! Please! That hunter must have done something bad and made it sound that he spared you! I can't let that keep happening! You've got to open up!"

Eli must have pounded on the door too loud somewhere in between now that I heard Emily approaching us.

"Eli? Naib? Everything okay there?"

My attention flew into that of the Seer now. His eyes were staring at the floor as if they are glued to it, his hands getting shaky, signing that he had been too harsh on them.

"Yep, Emily! It's all good! I got it all under control!" I immediately piped in as the Seer gave me a look that is more than enough for me to know that he does not want to deal with any more problems, in which to be honest, is the same exact feeling I have now.

Even a man with no memories like me has awarenesses too.

I had to do something.

"Eli, let's talk about this somewhere private, okay? I don't want even more people to come and ask us what is going on..." I whispered to his ear, reaching my one hand out for him to grab.

I was expecting the Seer to yank me off and call me names, but instead he placed his hand on mine, a weak smile forming on his lips.

"Yeah."

As we made our way back to Eli's room, which honestly is only two doors away from that of the Embalmer's, my mind eventually recalled all the series of events that had occurred, along with the reason behind Aesop's current behaviour.

That was when it hit me.

It was the day of the new Photographer's match.

It is indeed true that both Eli and me were not picked for it, and that all this stuff is none of our concern, but what will you do once your friend starts acting off right after he was forced to take part in something he never wanted to in the first place?

Are you just gonna stand still, or do what is right?

From my angle, I can pretty much tell this is what is playing inside the Seer's mind right now, for he still will not stop having concerned feelings.

"Naib..." Eli said, plopping himself down on the bed, his owl landing firmly on my shoulder.
"You do are aware of how Aesop is, and how he barely talks even to the both of us, right?"

I gave him a nod, allowing him to finish his sentence.

"But this? I don't know, man. Like, that hunter spared only him out of the four. Can you imagine how much of a vile behaviour that Photographer must have done? And worse of all..... told him to cover it up as sparing? Aesop did say he was spared, but he never wanted to have repetitions on his words! I'm... I'm just worried, Naib."

I had my full attention on him as his hands started fidgeting.

"I need an answer for this, Naib....
But am I wrong for acting this way?"

I stood still, flabbergasted and perplexed.

That is a question I can barely answer as well.

                                ***
The day went more daunting than I expected, for there are lots of things going on at the same time that it gets to the point of me no longer able to fathom and register them all.

Here I am, alone in my room, thoughts going in and out without consent.

I had told Eli that I was gonna excuse myself and that I'm gonna be fine despite finding the word 'fine' itself triggering something inside me. Not to mention I had to really assure the Seer that my mind is free from thoughts to prevent him from knocking on my door once in every two hours.

Because in reality, I am not. I really am not.

I took a deep breath, my mind registering the fact that my legs are no longer able to bear the weight of my own body.

I'm tired. Of everything. Of myself.

Cracks were then visible on my wall, along with red stains surrounding it, oozing all the way downwards to the wooden floor.

Did I really just-

My senses then came back to me, the pain and everything registering itself in my mind. My bloody fist. How I had subconsciously punched the wall right when everyone had assumed I am fine and that everything is under control.

Why?
Why can't I just remember who I fucking am?
What did I do to suffer such fate?
What is my head trying to tell me?

I am so tired of having to be someone else.

I had to take deep breaths, for tears are starting to flow down my eyes, a sob making its way still in the back of my throat.

Everyone in the manor always sees me as the one to goof around, throwing jokes as if his life is depending on it.

But....

I really wish someone was observant enough to look into my eyes, and is aware of the fact that I am far from okay and that how much my whole system is screaming for help.

They might see me as the clown, but I....

Please. Stop the fight me and my mind are having right now.

Just please......