I'm so fucking fed up with literally everyone and everything!
My father and mother can literally like catch these hands fr fr, don't get me wrong I love them with all my heart but it's getting so unbearable to be around them especially my father.
So awhile back my grandma invaded my privacy and read my diary about this fine ass girl I had a crush on (and dated for a while) and told my mother. I had a "sit down" with her and all she was saying was my daughter dosent like girls! She's straight! Like the whole time.
At the time I was living in Florida. So when I went home I had really got it from my father, he was like your too young to know what you want.
Like fuck you. And since that day I swear he made me wear girly clothes and try and force femininity on me, so what I was a little tomboy-ish??
And now it's always the 'boy talk' if I'm smiling at my phone it always has to be about a boy or making little comments, that have over time really ruined my confidence and just made me really dislike myself.
And now that I'm embracing my more feminine side 🙄
etc or whatever society labels as feminine clothes.
He has started being a real asshole agin, for my grad he literally told me that I was dressed like a bar girl. A FUCKING BAR GIRL! Who tells their young daughter (under the age of 18) that they look like a bar girl? I felt really bad and insecure that day.
And instead of apologizing he tries and be nice or dismisses the whole thing. Why do parents do that? Try and act nice instead of apologizing like normal ppl?? Do they think they are that much more inferior than their offspring???? Like the fuck???
But he's always like "slut" shamming me in a way, saying my shirts cant be too cropped or my shorts to low saying it's not lady like or I like look some hood rat or thot; just dumb stuff or not letting me not, not wear bras or whatever which by the way needs to be normalized.
or saying "girls don't do that" it's rude and hurtful and is ruining our bond.
I feel the need to rant all the time about personal experiences only to maybe relate to a person and let them know they aren't alone ya know.
I'm not a baby and don't need to be treated as one, even though it feels like I am but I get treated like an adult when it comes to clothing. Don't sexualize me then treat me like a child, don't tell me to speak up for what I believe in then expect me not to argue back with you on important matters.
It's just- I can't wait to move out and live on my own date whoever I want dress the way I want and live freely! Even if I'm a minor I deserve respect if I don't like you or respect you deal with it your age means literal shit to me bitch.
And don't get me started on the while baby thing. Stop forcing pregnancy on young girls too! I've told my parents countless countless times I'm probably not going to have a bby either. And they love to bring it up to me "oh you'll love your kids! You'll probably want some dont say that" and my sister had the nerve to tell me that saying I don't want kids is "horrible" and that what if my "husband" wants kids?? Okay tell him to marry someone else who wants the same future as him.
Okay. I'm done.
Thank you.
