Chapter Nineteen

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Trigger Warning*

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It wasn't the first time that Castle had demanded something. Usually, he was shy but never hesitated if he wanted something. This wasn't a subtle request either. There was a possessive glint in his eyes when he grabbed my hand and asked me to go to his room.

I followed him like a good, obedient wife.

A zing of excitement and nervousness rushed through my blood as I wondered what would happen tonight. I was dying a little from anticipation.

A woman like me would have never dreamed of getting married to someone like Castle. If circumstances were different, there was no doubt about it, and even though I had feelings for Castle that ran deep, I wasn't sure if he felt the same way. Even with marriage in the equation, he might never love me. He wanted me; I knew that much, but I'd assumed it was because he'd lacked the love and attention that I gave him. It could be purely sexual attraction, and whatever it was, I would take it.

I hoped that one day he'd learn to love me.

Once inside the room, he turned the lock and my gaze swept around the room.

I spent most of my time here with him as his caregiver, but I never thought that I'd be sharing the bedroom with him. It wasn't decorated like a honeymoon suite, no roses, no scented candles, nothing romantic, and that made me wonder if it was because the family assumed that Castle wasn't capable of the understandings of what really happened on wedding nights.

The look in his eyes clearly said he might not understand what went on, but he was going to be a quick learner.

Castle stood at the door, silent, but his stance was still predatory. His whiskey-colored eyes were blazing as they raked over my body, starting from below and to the top, stopping only briefly to stare at my breasts.

I bit my lip; this was getting awkward very fast.

"Castle, do you...do you..." stop stammering like an idiot, Millie! "Do you know what happens on a wedding night?"

"We fuck?" He asked with a straight face.

I burst out laughing, but Castle wasn't finding this funny. "We make love. That's a better term, don't you think?"

Castle didn't care about the term as long as we were going to get naked and doing it. I could read that on his face.

He took off his jacket and tossed it over the plush chair. I would be kidding if said I wasn't feeling a little on the edge.

"Lose that nightgown." Castle said brusquely.

I reached for the knot on my robe and slid out of it, and that left me wearing only the short camisole.

His eyes were trailed over me, his long lashes lowered.

My heart was beating aggressively against my chest as I stepped towards him and began unbuttoning his shirt. He stood there silently, watching me undress him, and then I felt his callous fingers lingering over my waist before they slid below and cupped my round ass and brought me snugly against his front. I felt his erection through his pants.

I ran my hands over his broad chest and his hardened pecs. He was so strong and his biceps so powerful that he made me feel smaller in comparison. He smelled of some woodsy spicy cologne. Castle was breathing hard as he brought his hand up to hold my face, capturing my mouth in a delicious slow kiss and with his other hand he bunched up my dress in his fist. I took that as my cue to get rid of the cami. His lips got bolder as we kissed deeply, and I moaned into his mouth, my fingers digging into his hair.

We were married now, so we didn't have to hide any longer.

His tongue plunged into my mouth and moved in languid strokes, turning my insides into molten. If it weren't for his powerful hands holding me firmly, I would have sunk to the floor.

He rubbed his fingers over my bra, looking at me heatedly. Softly he said, "Take this off too!"

I reached behind me and unclasped the bra. Now I stood completely naked in front of him, save for the panties. I unzipped his pants, and he stepped out of it. His eyes smothered thick with desire as his hands snaked up my skull to grab my hair in his fist. And honestly, I was noticing a little that Castle liked to dominate when we were alone like this.

I was going to tell him to stop holding my hair so tightly when he picked me up in his arms and brought me into bed, where he kneeled on the mattress with me still clinging to his body and kissed me. He mauled me, his hands covering my breasts as he squeezed and closed his mouth over one and sucked hard, his teeth grazing against the nipples.

I cried, both in pleasure and pain.

"You like that?" Castle rasped, "Millie... how hard... you want me to fuck you?"

Was I hearing correctly?

My innocent Castle was spewing this...

Before I could process it, he pulled his boxer shorts off and his hand snaked around my neck. His hand was firm against my neck as his weight overpowered me. He was a strong man, and I didn't like to be defenseless in bed. I tried to wiggle out of his hold to get into a different position; one that wasn't me flat on the mattress, but I was no match to his power.

His fingers grabbed for my panties as he tore it off swiftly while he kissed me violently, his hand getting tighter like he wanted to choke me.

I had brief flashes of what my uncle used to do to me. Tears blurred my vision. I was shaking all over, paralyzed by fear.

Was he trying to kill me?

"Stop it!" I screeched.

Surprisingly, his grip loosened just a little, I took my chance and sat up. I saw the confused look that crossed his face as I stumbled out of bed and away from him. I was sobbing with relief to be out of his grip and began picking up my robe while Castle was still naked in bed, staring at me in bafflement.

He reached out to grab me again, but I stepped away and out of his reach.

"Millie..." he called me softly, "Why...why are you crying?"

"Stay away!" I said, "I can't do this."

"Millie..." He said in a frustrated voice.

I knotted the robe around my body, feeling the bile rising in my throat. I didn't look at him as I unlocked the door and walked out of our bedroom. I could hear him calling out to me, first calmly, and then his voice was rising with every stride.

I made a run for my old bedroom, opened it, and locked it from the side. I lied down in my old bed.

I heard the knock on the door. "Millie..."

Castle was outside. "Millie, please open the door...I...I can explain..." 

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x kash

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