metanoia《twilight oc》

reluctance

I think today is the day when I will finally convince Carlisle to let me go back to school. They've seen how I've managed around humans and were surprised by how well I controlled myself. Alice even drove me into town with Emmett to test out how well I would fare around larger groups. The car ride was brief, just down one of the main roads where Forks' infamous diner was, past the police station and high school.

Conversation in the car was minimal. I sat in the passenger seat of the car with Alice in the driver's seat and Emmett in the back. We took Carlisle's Mercedes. We thought it best for Alice to drive so that if there were going to be an incident, Alice could look ahead and react the fastest. I was in the passenger so that Emmett could watch my reactions from the back. 

Although there was a voice in the back of my head at the beginning that longed for blood, I decided not to think about it and the thirst went away. As long as I focus on things other than my thirst, it doesn't seem to be a problem. Much to their surprise and delight, I seemed unphased the entire ride, just looking out the window at the scenery I had never seen before.

When we got back to the house Emmett was bouncing off the walls with excitement for me.

"You guys should have seen it, the humans didn't even bother her, I was probably more affected than Arden!"

I gave a soft smile to him at his enthusiasm. I had slowly begun talking more. I had come to terms with what I was and decided that it was no use moping around about something I could no longer change. The only thing I worried about now was whether or not I'd see my family again.

"Is this true, Alice?" Carlisle asked.

"Yup, I've never seen anything like it, it's as if she has as much control as you do, Carlisle." Alice beamed, just as excited as Emmett.

"Arden, this is truly remarkable, how did you do it?" Carlisle asked turning to face me now.

All eyes were on me as I responded, it seemed as though every time I spoke everyone was listening trying to figure me out.

"Honestly, I just tried not to think about it and the burning in my throat went away. As long as I focus on something else, it seems to disappear."

"Amazing, what did you focus on? If you don't mind me asking."

I looked down and smiled, "My family, I thought about the plans I made with my siblings for the summer."

They all physically reacted to this, giving me sad smiles.

"That's sweet of you I would love to meet them, they're probably just as lovely as you," Esme smiled at me.

"I'm sure they'd love you," I responded, glad that Esme was entertaining the idea of me seeing my family again.

"So, do you think I can go back to school? Y'know, since I can control myself."

Carlisle was silent for a moment, pondering the idea in his head until he finally responded.

"I'll let you go, but I think it's best if someone else is there just to be safe. It is still very early in your transformation and we need to be sure nothing will happen. It's nothing against you, Arden, our kind is just very unpredictable. I hope you understand."

We decided that Esme would accompany me, just to be safe as all the others had to play pretend: going to high school and for Carlisle, working in the hospital. I was ecstatic. The university was in Seattle, close enough for Esme to run back or drive fairly quickly if she wanted to, an invitation they extended to me as well. Today was a Friday, so we would leave Sunday night.

"Thank you so much, Carlisle. You don't know how much this means to me."

He smiled, "Of course, you're a part of our family now."

My unbeating heart warmed at this comment, and for the first time in a while I was genuinely happy. Maybe this could be my family after all.