Love Me

Chapter 24

"Jonah, i don't want to rush it...i'm scared..." I said worrying my bottom lip between my teeth.

"Why are you scared?" He asked looking at me in concern. Is he seriously asking me that? I'm about to pop a child out, how can i not be scared?!

"Because, i don't know what i'm doing! I don't know if i'm even going to be a good mom, i don't want to do anything to hurt my child or not give my child the best possible life i can give her. I'm scared of doing this alone, and i'm not talking about raising her. I can do that on my own, i don't need anyone to take care of my child for me, because i will always have her no matter what. I'm talking about the labor and delivery. I didn't know i was going to have to do this alone, i thought Colby would be by my side for it...I'm just scared!" I explained my fear to him.

"Okay, listen to me carefully. You could never be a bad mother, the fact that you're worried about the happiness of your child proves that, the fact that you just said it doesn't matter if you're alone in this she will always have you, proved that. You love that little girl so damn much, you're willing to give your life up if it means she lives. Do you not remember that conversation we had the other night? You told me that if things go wrong in labor and delivery to save her, not you. That right there proves that you're going to be an amazing mother, you love her unconditionally, you would willingly die if it means that she gets to live. And as for having to do it alone? You won't! I've already told you, i'm here, i'm not going anywhere and you won't have to go through anything alone as long as i'm around. I will be there during labor and delivery, i will be there after the birth, hell, i will be there to watch her grow. I'm not going anywhere, i love you, and i love her." He pulled me in for a comforting hug and i let him.

"Thank you, Jonah, you're the best. I love you too."

"Everything is going to be okay, Lulu. I got you!" He squeezed me once more and then released me.

"I know, i don't know what i would do without you. You're the only guy who hasn't switched up on me, you've stuck by my side through everything our whole lives." I know that i never have to worry about Jonah leaving me, he will always be beside me no matter what life throws at us.

"That's because you can't get rid of me, you're stuck with me! I'm like herpes, i may disappear for a while, but i'll always be back!" He smirked at me, i wrinkled my nose in disgust.

"Ewww, please never say that again!" Jonah laughed and wrapped me in another tight hug. He always knows how to make me feel better, i honestly couldn't ask for a better best friend. I sighed heavily as i pulled away from him.

"What's on your mind?" He asked looking at me.

"Just thinking about Colby, i want to help him. He needs to get away from Lauren, she's got her claws sunk so deep in him she can get him to do whatever she wants. She's fucked his head up, he doesn't believe anyone can truly love him, or would want to be with him, he thinks everyone who gets close to him is gonna fuck him over." I said feeling sad that he has to go through that.

"Oh God, please tell me you aren't thinking about giving him another chance after everything he's done? He practically disappeared and hasn't once asked about his daughter, that's unacceptable." He was glaring daggers at the mention of Colby's name. He still wants to beat his ass for what he did to me.

"I'm not giving him another chance, he's made a fool out of me one too many times, and i won't let him do it again. I just know he needs help, he needs to get away from her, and he can't do that on his own. I'm not saying that we're going to get back together, i'm not even saying we're going to be friends, i just want to help him get away from her. I want to help him get some help so that he can see he's better than what she makes him feel. That he's capable of being loved, that he deserves to be happy. That he can be in a committed relationship and not get fucked over, he needs to know that it's okay to trust people. I want him to be happy, i want him to move on and live his life with a new mindset and not the trash she's put in his head over the years. I care about him, and i'm always going to care about him, he's the father of my child. But that doesn't mean we're good for each other, and it doesn't mean that he deserves another chance. So don't worry, he's not getting another chance. I just want him to be okay, i want him away from her, for his own sake." I explained. I meant it when i said he's not going to get another chance, i will not let him make a fool of me again.