Tormented love

Chapter 18

"Don't let it bother you like this honey." Ally rubbed her hand over my back as she pulled more hair away from my mouth and it's disgusting ways. If I could've talked I would've told her, it hurt.

Everything at this point hurts. My heart, my mind, my head, my own thoughts. My whole body ached.
Nothing was what it seemed. The laughter was now fading and replaced with a sad sob. The love has now turned to a memory. Love to once loved. I hated Jake for causing this.

No. Not this time. I couldn't blame Jake, he didn't do this. Jake did not force Zach into a bed with a different girl. His own bed, a bed I had slept with him in on numerous nights. I remember returning home four weeks ago, Zach was amazing.

We took a trip to the zoo. Another romantic date at the beach. He spent the night with me in my apartment again. Multiple times actually. We looked at promise rings. We even purchased one.

That damn promise ring.

I'd be receiving the fake piece of jewelry in two days. The jewelry wasn't fake, yet the meaning behind it makes it nothing more than a ring I got by popping a quarter into a machine.

That stupid blonde haired girl and her tanned skin. Was that it? My hair was too reddish brown, my skin was too pale. It must've been my fault, it had to. Zach was perfect.

His dirty blonde faded hair. His perfectly lined beard that shadowed his beautifully chiseled jaw line. His sharp ass cheek bones. His damn lips that hid his perfect smile. The memory made me sick and again I vomited into Allys toilet.

"Okay enough." Ashley stated. Ally and Amber turned to listen as they held my hair. "Anna, I know I met you a week ago when I transferred. You assume I don't know you." She pauses as I looked up from the toilet, probably looked pitiful. Disgusting even. "I don't. I know. But I do know, you can get over him. I have a suggestion." Ashley watched for an expression. I couldn't exactly give one but I did sit against the counter and Ally and Amber straightened.

I still couldn't believe Ally and I gave Amber another chance.

"Okay, tonight. There's a party." She looked distant.

"Really Ashley?" Amber started. "A party. Could you look at her?" She pointed in my direction. "Does she look like she could attend a party. She's in no condition." Ashely sighed and Ally looked at her own image in the mirror.

"Anna?" Ally called my name and I looked slowly in her direction. "Get off my bathroom floor, take a shower. You're going out tonight. We're going with you. You're going to make an appearance at that party." Quickly I leaned over the toilet and vomited again as Amber leaned down quickly and grabbed my hair.

"Enough." She argued.

"No, it's okay." I said slowly as Amber helped me off the floor. "I'll go." I knew I probably shouldn't go and I knew I'd probably make a fool of myself. If Zach was there especially. I'd probably beg him to forgive me for throwing such a fit. For making a fool of myself and freezing in the door way. I didn't move when I caught them. I stood there, my eyes were burning with tears but they hadn't formed yet, or at least not ran down my face. Not until he got off the bed, in a sheet and ran over to me. His big brown pleading eyes were filled with tears, he could cry and I couldn't? He was talking but I didn't hear him. My eyes darted back between him and the female in his bed. The female who wasn't me. It was time for me to move on from that the same way I moved on from my bestfriend of the past.

Jake and I haven't been friends in almost 8 months and this was a bigger slap in the face than anything Jake has dared to put me through.

"Get in the shower Anna." Ally continued. I nodded my head, I said okay but only in my mind. I was afraid if I opened my mouth the remaining contents of whatever's in my stomach would pour out.

By now I assumed, it would only be the foamy substance known as stomach acid. There couldn't be anything left on my stomach.

"Here we picked out three dresses. You chose one and Ashely will do your makeup." I smile but once I turn to look at the dresses I nearly drop my towel and throw my hands to yell at them.

"Ally." I say in a begging manner.

"Anna." Ally looks at me sternly.

"Anna." Amber pleads.

"Ally." I knew she wouldn't let me pick from others, I had to play along with this plan they've thought up. Wether I liked it or not. "Fine. The black one."

"Great choice. Beautiful dress. Really it is." No Amber, it wasn't. There's no way the dress will reach mid thigh, the back is out down to almost my ass, the sheer sleeves are pointless. What's the point in even wear clothing at all if this is what I'm left with. At least it's better than the red one. I turn to Ashley.

"Yeah. Guess so." She sighs as she pulls out Ally's chair.

"Sit. Let me do my job." Ashley was the only female in this group that had the slightest idea of what was right when it came to makeup. Could I do it? Sure. Should I? No, probably not.

Before we left I took one last glance in the mirror. I was gone. I'd let myself wonder away and I was too far gone to find my way back. My lips were stained in scarlet red, my eyes a smokey color and my cheek bones looked different. Hell, my eyebrows looked different. The dress clung to me, I was nearly claustrophobic in it. My hair was neatly brushed into a tight and high pony tail, it almost looked as though Amber had gelled it. How in the hell she wrapped a chunk of hair around my pony tail perfectly, I'll never know. But my own hair looked as though it was the pony tail. Out of the whole ordeal, I loved the way my hair looks.

I swear if I bend over tonight my ass will be on full display, as if my breast aren't enough show for the night.

This was good in a way I assumed, or hoped. I was changing. Maybe it's what I needed.

Maybe though, I needed to find the girl I used to be, the one who cared what others thought, the one who didn't dress differently because of a bad day. A girl who didn't puke in her friends bathroom over a guy or hate a guy who used to be her only friend. Maybe I needed to remember who I really was. Before Jake and before Zach.

Then I shoved that thought into the back of my mind and gathered myself to attend a high school party. Without Zach.

Wait

What if Zach comes too? What if Zach shows up with the same exact bitch who was in his bed on my side.

It's not your side, Anna.

The entire idea of this stupid party has me worked up completely. So many bad things could happen.

"Yeah and guess what? So many good this could too, you know." I looked over to Ally.

"I was talking out loud?" I was mortified.

"Only about it not being your side and the party could be bad." She wrapped her arms around my shoulders and squeezed me comfortingly. "It's gonna be okay Anna, we'll be there with you. You can't lay in pity and puke in my toilet all night. Let loose." I smiled as we climbed into Ally's car.

"Get fucking drunk!!" Ashley screamed. Exaggerating the word drunk.