It is a constant uphill climb for Siorah Katha, a young Jedi, intent on making it to the top. She just wants to find her place. To belong. The only thing standing in her way? Anakin Skywalker. A hotheaded, stubborn, frustratingly arrogant partner th...
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The next morning I get a short, stiff message on my comm that reads, "come to the training rooms." I don't even have to ask who it's from, no one asks me to train with them anymore, especially not over commlink.
When the doors slide open, Anakin is standing in the middle of the room waiting for me and I instantly notice the arrogance in his posture.
"You'll never guess who came to visit me in my chambers last night," I say, walking towards him slowly.
"Someone was in your chambers? Should I be worried?" He teases.
"Who let her out?" I press, relishing in the way his amused expression wavers at my tone. I'm not here to screw around and play chicken with him. I need answers.
"Something tells me you already have the answer to your question."
I press my tongue against my cheek smugly. "You let our most-wanted criminal out of her prison chamber last night?"
He gives me a worried look and takes a step back. "Yes. But I–"
I don't care about what he has to say. I pull my lightsaber from my belt and lunge towards him, throwing my blade down as hard as I can, blocked only just in time.
His face, just inches from mine, has lost all confidence he had when I first came into the room. I glare fiercely at him before using all my strength to throw him off balance and get my foot up to kick him back, the blow landing hard against his stomach.
He grunts, gasping for air, and I use that second of vulnerability to drop and spin, sweeping his legs out from beneath him.
"Siorah–" He stammers, deflecting every strike I throw down at him, though he grows weaker and clumsier.
He lashes at me desperately, using his other hand to reach out and grab at anything he can. His fingers catch the band holding my hair up, but before he even remembers to tug, I toss my lightsaber up, catching it by the hilt and slamming it against his fist, weakening his grip on his weapon.
This attack allows me to slam it out of his hand, throw him against the ground, and bring my blade up against his throat, all before my hair has even fallen to my shoulders.
I press myself closer to him, the heat of my lightsaber just as hot against my face as his.
"You committed a crime against the Jedi Order and I could turn you in right now, watch them drag you out of the temple to a prison chamber of your own, and slip past the guards to slice Koehkana's throat myself, all before you even got the chance to get back to your feet." I seethe, pushing with all my weight on my lightsaber that he's barely holding back.
I take great pleasure in the fear in his eyes.
The confusion, the frustration, and the guilt all excite me but the fear... the fear is what satisfies my anger. Pulling back, I sheath and throw my lightsaber on the ground, allowing him to catch his shaky breath.
"Why, Anakin?" I ask him earnestly. "You put everyone in this Temple at risk."
"I trust her, Siorah," He answers truthfully and in my chest, a horrible sinking feeling drops to my stomach.
"I know you do," I spit.
He looks taken aback but glares at me firmly. "Why are you being like this?"
"Because you spend every day down in that Prison Center, ignoring your duties, leaving me hanging for days at a time! You disappear for hours! We don't do anything anymore. You don't come on errands for Obi-Wan with me, you've stopped waiting for me outside the Dining Hall. It's like you don't even exist, Anakin."
"I want to understand her."
"You never wanted to understand me! Koehkana said that I don't know you, I haven't had the time to, and maybe she's right! What do we know about each other, Anakin? When were you going to defy orders to learn about me? You don't even know me!"
He grabs my arms and looks at me seriously. "I know that you miss your family, even though you don't even remember them. I know you're disappointed that your only relative is Koehkana, and that you're embarrassed by her, and you feel like you have to prove that you're better. I know that you do what's right, in every situation, no matter the damage it causes you, and that you're fiercely loyal and impossibly brave.
I know that three months ago you hated me and you did everything you could to be better than I am. And you are. You are everything I wish I could've been. You're strong, and determined, and you're never uncontrollable, the way I am. Every day of my life, since they first brought me here, I've felt like I would never be able to control my feelings the way the Jedi wanted me to. I've struggled with it all of these years."
He drops his hold on me, instead, bringing his hand up to my face.
"But... when I met you–really met you–it didn't matter anymore. I felt everything, without control or thought, but suddenly I wasn't scared. You're everything, Siorah. You're the sickness, the symptoms, and the cure. All of it. And I would gladly spend the rest of my life infected, intoxicated, by you."
All at once, my chest swells with a thousand things I wish I could tell him, but that would never be done justice by any trivial words I might use. That he could find me an answer to the confusion and strife he has carried with him, every day, since we were young, means more to me than I could hope to explain.
But where the newly formed romantic parts of me are flushed and overwhelmed, I cannot pretend like the problem I came here to confront has been solved.
"What is she planning, Anakin?" I ask him, placing my hand on top of his.
"I can't tell you unless I can trust you to leave us be."
"Us? Tell me you're not–"
He stands, pulling his hand out from under mine. "Siorah, there are things you don't understand. I know you trust the Order, the same as I do, but they're handling this wrong. I would never do something like this unless I was sure that the outcome would be useful."
I know nothing I say will persuade him from this plan that Koehkana has planted in his head. But if I could just keep him safe, out of her path of destruction, then that would be enough.
"Then tell me what is going to happen," I plead, "I can help you."
He gives me a conflicted look.
"Anakin, please."
He curses under his breath. "There's a ship docking in two days. Koehkana has promised to leave quietly if I can get her papers to board. She'll leave, Siorah, lay low until the Order no longer sees her as a threat. She doesn't want to hurt anyone, she just wants to be free."
My reluctance must show in my face because his voice grows more desperate.
"We owe it to her. Think of what the Order has done to her, unwarranted, and without explanation. Even if they were right, they should have told us about this a long time ago. I've set up a team to dispatch in case anything goes wrong. I have this under control, Siorah. Are you with me or not?"
I can't protect him if I'm not with him.
"Fine," I answer, "But the second she does something questionable, we are abandoning ship. Do you understand?"
He nods. Commotion outside calls our attention and he gives me a reassuring smile, kisses me on the forehead, and takes off out the door.
