f o r t y

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[ sleep ]
0:58 ──♡───────── 3:47
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They lay there for a minute, all warm and tingly. Chests pressed together, each trying to wrap their heads around what just happened.

"Get off." Jeongguk groaned, nudging the older, "You're crushing me."

"I appreciate you too." Taehyung answered wryly, a smile blooming across his face when he heard the younger laugh. He rolled off him, quickly discarding the condom and tending to his baby's needs. "Are you okay?" He asked, draping an arm around Jeongguk's flushed body. "Hm?"

"A little sore." Jeongguk mumbled, his breath fanning Taehyung's face in a ticklish manner. "And I'm all sticky."

Taehyung laughed. "Yeah." He pressed a kiss against his temple and slowly pushed himself up. "I shouldn't have showered so early." He said as he planted his feet down next to the bed.

"Where are you going?" Jeongguk asked groggily, sleep tugging at his eyelids.

"To get us cleaned up."

"Mm okay."

Taehyung came back with a warm towel and a clean set of clothes for the younger. "Sleep if you're tired, Gguk." He told him gently, "I'll take care of you."

Jeongguk shook his head stubbornly, eyes still closed. "I'll sleep once-" He broke off into an endearing yawn. "-once you're in bed with me... cuddling."

Taehyung grinned at that, the mattress dipping as he kneeled onto the bed and started cleaning the mess they've made.

The next few minutes were a mess of giggles and complaints, where Jeongguk was too tired to lift himself up and Taehyung was struggling to clothe him. Jeongguk would pretend to fall asleep midway, his weight shifting everywhere and making it hard for the older.

"Yah!" Taehyung exclaimed, "Stay still."

Jeongguk giggled, eyes closed as he leaned backwards. "What did you say? I'm sorry I can't hear you when I'm asleep."

"Oh you little brat."

Jeongguk gasped when Taehyung's hands landed on his sides, playful fingers digging into flesh. The younger squirmed, more giggles rising from his throat as he tried to escape the tickling.

"Stop stop-" Jeongguk squealed, tears of joy springing from his eyes. "Taehyungie!"

Taehyung laughed, pulling the last strip of clothing over the younger and ending his torture with a smack on the ass. Jeongguk's hands flew up to cup the older's face, kissing above his cheekbone, offering a silent thank you.

"Sleep, baby." Taehyung patted his head.

Jeongguk glanced down. "This is your hoodie."

The older gave him a smile, and Jeongguk could see the hint of sadness in it. "Keep it." He said before turning the bedside lamp off, allowing their surroundings to be drenched in moonlight.

Jeongguk pulled the collar up to his nose, taking a sniff, nostalgic already. He knew he would never wash it, afraid it'll rid of Taehyung's scent.

"C'mon sleepyhead." Taehyung turned to look at him and his face fell instantly. "Baby?" He tilted Jeongguk's chin up in his direction, seeing his doe eyes with a sheen of tears.

"I'm sorry." The younger sniffed. "I didn't mean to cry and ruin everything again."

"You're not ruining anything." Taehyung said, "I promise you're not, Jeongguk." He pecked his cheek and leaned in for a proper hug. "I love you so much."

"I love you too. So fucking much."

So this was it.

Jeongguk hated himself for spending their last moments sobbing into Taehyung's shoulder after sex. It was embarrassing, really. The older lowered them down, reaching for the blanket and covering the shaking boy.

"Will you be here in the morning?" Jeongguk asked brokenly, eyes searching his lover's face.

Taehyung ran a hand up and down his back, breathes raggedy. "I don't know." He confessed, "I don't know if I can leave with you looking at me like this."

Jeongguk also hated the fact that if Taehyung left without waking him up, he wouldn't be angry. He would understand. It would be saving both of them from further pain.

"I'm gonna miss you." He whispered, their legs entangled and arms around each other.

"I'll be thinking of you every second of the day." Taehyung kissed him, slowly, relishing him.

Jeongguk chased him down when he tried pulling away, basking in the anesthesia of Taehyung's lips. Numbing the pain in his chest. Numbing heartache. Just for a moment.

"Jeongguk." Taehyung murmured.

"Hm?"

"Promise me-" He pinched at his chin so Jeongguk would look at him straight in the eye. "Promise me you'll be okay after I'm gone. Stay with Jimin. Stay with your roommates. Let them take care of you."

Jeongguk nodded.

"And please-" Taehyung's voice broke, a single tear racing down the curve of his cheek and onto the pillowcase. "Think about what I said about finding someone new. I love you enough to let you go."

He edged forward and kissed him softly. Just for a second.

"Please love yourself enough to let me go. You'll be happier that way."

Jeongguk nodded, smile wobbly and feelings empty. He couldn't feel anymore. Someone had sucked the emotion out of his being. Taehyung stroked his cheek, thumb brushing over that little scar.

"How was the sex?" The older asked in a cheeky attempt to lift the mood.

The younger welcomed it. "Perfect. Best I'll ever have."

"Good." Taehyung let a faint smile grace his features. "You deserve perfect."

Jeongguk fell asleep on Taehyung's chest, partially against his will. He tried so hard to stay awake, tracing little shapes onto the older's arm and fighting the sleep weighing down on his eyelids.

Taehyung stayed up, watching over him, soaking in the way Jeongguk's small frame curled up beside him. A steady rhythm of breath escaping his lips. He looked... so damn peaceful it hurt.

Taehyung kissed him, all over his lover's face, so faintly that Jeongguk must've imagined an angel's touch in his deep sleep. Kissed Jeongguk goodbye for hours.

He didn't notice when Taehyung left the next morning.

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I'm updating early cause I'm gonna be offline for the next two to four days on Wattpad. Stuff happened and there are things I need to focus on. Don't worry though, I would never leave this story hanging. So I hope y'all stick around for the ending :)

I've said this before but I'll say it again, I'm extremely grateful for the support I'm getting for this book. It was so unexpected and I wish I could personally thank all of you.

Stay safe and healthy!
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