Loving Jemima

19. How did I not see it

Matty

We all went to the garden where Jem fell asleep again, I was beginning to get concerned that I had actually broken my little sisters brain, she seemed completely scrambled, her timelines were crossing all over the place, every time she woke up we weren't sure what or who she would remember.
"I phoned the hospital, they said not to worry and just give it time and patience, It could take a while for her to get back to normal. they said it sounds like the concussion and her PTSD episodes are mixing, like Sandra said. Oh and They said let her sleep a lot cos the brain heels faster when she sleeps or something." Ed informed us all when he joined us, going to give sleeping Jem's hair a stroke before sitting on the grass. I thanked him then went back to staring at my sister asleep with her head on Max's lap with his arm draped over her.

"Max what was she doing with the toast?" I asked trying to put my feelings about him aside for the time being for Jem's sake.
"She's been stashing food under her bed."
"Like on the tour bus?"
"No, I don't think so, this was more of an emergency stash in case she didn't get fed, I dropped peter a message on Emmy's phone and he said she used to do it in England when Steve first started controlling her food intake, just after you left, so she had something to eat, before she gave up and just stopped eating, I think he cottoned on to her or found her stash. Peter said she used to...she used eat cold beans from the tin. He used to share his lunch with her at school. Your mum wouldn't send her with one, too drunk I think. Teachers pulled them up on it and offered her school dinners, I think she wanted to sit with peter though or something, you'd have to ask him I don't know about English schools. He said she'd open her tatty lunch box and all that would be in it was a tin of peaches which she couldn't open without a tin opener bless her."

"Shit, right, thanks for doing that max. I used to make her packed lunch along with mine before I left. Bastards. She was too short to reach most things in the kitchen. He sent back the new lunch box I posted over for her with kangaroos and Koala bears on it. I sent her one every start of the school year, Sandra used to take me shopping to buy one. they all got returned. I don't know why I still bothered."
"Is that where all the tinned peaches keep disappearing to?" Milo asked "I swear they just disappear."
"She's got some tins under there." Max nodded "looks like she's been doing it a while Matty. Before the concussion I mean. Maybe it's like an impulse, like she don't know she's doing it? Now I think about it I've seen her sat on her bed eating straight out of a can before. Didn't think much of it, I mean she was eating which is a good thing."

"What about what happened with milo, I kind of walked in at the end of whatever she was doing?" I asked
"Oh, I think she was trying to..you know" milo said nodding towards his crotch "please me! So I'd cook her food!"
"What! Like..."
"Well she was kneeling down with her face lined up with it, saying something about lolly pop licks, so I presume so!"
"Do you think he used to make her..."
"Sorry Matty he probably did, she was talking like she was back in England, she said something about your ninja turtles and she was quite concerned that you would also get to have toast too, kept saying she'd be a good girl if you could have toast too." Max told me giving me another sympathetic look. "I could ask William, remember there was a thing with eggs on tour that he got all cagey about, maybe that's what she flashbacks about? I could understand why she doesn't want to tell you if it is. Eggs is one of her worst triggers. She had a wobble just this week when you fried her an egg."
"True....she errr done that with you?" I asked unsurely, not sure if I wanted to know or not
"Done What?" Max asked innocently
"What she was trying to do to milo!" I pointed at his crotch
"Matt mate, I'm sure you don't want to really know do you?" Ed looked at me like I was crazy
"It's ok Ed. No Matty, she hasn't sucked me off. That's what you want to know?"
"Good. keep it that way!"

Jem sat up looking at us all, greeting Laura again in her new sweet way, I was really surprised and impressed that Laura hadn't freaked out or got tired of it by now, she offered to leave but max asked if she would stay as Jem seemed to have a fixation on her so it might help keep her calm having her here. Max was keeping on top of her meds and making sure she had water and snacks, I was still feeling guilty so was keeping my distance letting him get on with it. It was unlike him to be so organised.