Loving Jemima

33. Keep it PG

Matty

I watched max fussing around for his 'date night', I don't think he'd ever had a date night at home before that wasn't a teenage make out session and lounging in front of the TV, I'd never seen him make an effort with a girl before. He was even smartly dressed. I don't think his other girlfriends or flings even got taken out on proper dates, they just hung out or tagged along with us.

"We're off then max" I told him
"Ok have a good time" he was concentrating on switching disco lights on in the living room
"Do I wanna know" I laughed
"I can't take her clubbing, thought I'd bring the club to her.....too much? I don't really know what I'm doing here, I'd usually ask dating advice from you Matty but...she's your sister so..."
"Perfect mate" Tom winked "nice shirt dude."
"You like it, it's new" he straightened it a little "trying something a little different, it's Emmy's favourite colour. She likes this fabric so I thought I'd try it. It's got fluffy velvet bits on it" he rubbed the velvet skull
"You're making an effort weaver" I nodded at him "I like it."
"Thank you Matty. I'm trying."
"I know. We won't be late" I reminded him "Jem? I errrr have a nice date" I said awkwardly
"I will, Max doesn't drug me like some people." She snapped stomping past me. I sighed, closing my eyes deciding to push it hoping it wouldn't ruin Max's date, well partly hoping it might kill the mood and she would spend the whole time complaining about me instead of sucking his face off or worse.

"Jem.....we need to move past this, what I did was wrong, I've apologised.....perhaps we should talk over it in therapy? In a safe space."
"This was my safe space until you fucking ruined it you asshole!" She screamed at me
"Emmy baby.....it's alright, I'm here."
"Weaver fuck off for five minutes would you!"
"Max, don't get involved, this is between them, keep it separate from the other issues so that there's no overlap" Ed pulled Max's arm to guide him away
"But he's upsetting my girlfriend.....if it was Laura...."
"I know I'd be knocking his block off, but...circumstances are different here."
"Jem I'm sorry if that's how you feel. I understand alright, this isn't our forever home, it's just temporary. You are safe here Jem."
"Bullshit" she huffed slamming pots and pans putting them away angrily
"Jem, look at me. Look at me damn it." I forced her face towards me
"Watch it" max growled at me

"Jem I understand alright, let's work on this together. I love you, I did what I did because I love and care for you, no other reason. Why don't you feel safe? Because you think I'll do it again? Because you know they're in the house and you're worried about trying something again? You scared someone...that we'll do something while your drugged up on sleeping pills?" She screwed her eyes gripping the counter so tightly her knuckles went white "is that it! You thought we were trying to do something to you, you know we wouldn't. Jem you know we wouldn't. That I wouldn't. Jem! You bloody know that."
"Trigger warning" max hurried out, flustering "Ed please, her hands shaking, Matty stop."
"Jem who.....who was your flashback about? Was it him? Was it Felix's mates? That night in the hotel?"
"Matty he's right, pushing it too far, you've used sevreal trigger words already" Tom warned
"Go away" Jem mumbled turning her face from me sadly

"Tell me" I gently held her shaking arm in my hand "I love you, you're safe I promise."
"There was a party" she whispered out, I snapped my head in surprise then looked over at the boys who were equally surprised she was opening up outside of therapy
"What happened?"
"Mum went to Spain for a week, he paid. With her girlfriends. She even went to your show there. He bought her tickets, they all went"
"Mum saw me play? I thought...he wouldn't let you, either of you."
"It was a trap" she whispered quieter "to see if she would go. She walked straight into it." Jem shook her head the tears flowing "stupid naive bitch."

"Jem we've crossed into a different story"
"You still don't get it do you?" She looked at me sadly. "It's all the same story Matty, it never paused, I never got a day off, even when I was at Petey's or with Felix, every action has consequences, there's no line between stories, it's all the same story, my story. Our story. Every day is living hell. You have a moment of happiness like with my Petey or with felix even, but he's always there, he never goes away. he never will. Everyday is still a fight to stay out of hell, he always drags me back. He won't ever go away Matty. I have to live in hell every damn day of my life and it never stops!"
"I know baby sis" I pulled her in kissing her head