Loving Jemima

27. Looks can be deceiving

Matty

Tom and I enjoyed a few days back at our old family home with Sandra and Ralph. We'd successfully managed to ditch the fans and were moving into our temporary new home, it wasn't ideal, it was far too small , we were going to be on top of each other but the boys all still wanted to live together so we were continuing our search, I reluctantly said max and Jem could move into a room together, I was slowly getting used to the two of them being a couple, I had good and bad days, as well as a few terrible ones. The discussion over sleeping arrangements got very heated and I'd lost my cool, thankfully we'd had the discussions away from Jem. I'd asked her therapist to sit with me and max to ask her professional opinion. The family therapy had been going well and Max's breakthrough had been a huge turning point for us.

I'd even left her for a week when we had a midnight blue commitment we couldn't get out of. I was pissed that jack and Sandra hadn't called me after she'd had a massive panic attack when we left, they didn't tell me until I was in the hotel in L.A, I was trying to keep my shit together while I had max bawling his eyes out over it. He was just as reluctant to leave her behind as me. They were joined at the hip for the most part. Annoyingly. I phoned William to find out if he was in the country, when he said he was I asked him to check on her for me, Max was fuming with me when he found out, convinced I'd gotten him out of Australia and away from Jem to try and get her and William back together, which I certainly hadn't. She needed more friends, she'd made slow progress with Laura, Ed would often say she tolerated her, which was all he could ask for and the therapist told hm he couldn't rush her into forging a relationship with her, she had popped round and had pizza with Jem, Sandra and Jack had commitments for one night while we were away that they couldn't get out of. Ed was pleased she'd sat and watched TV and had pizza with Laura, albeit in complete silence or only Laura talking.

The next day I got a ranting voicemail from Jem saying she didn't need a fucking babysitter and Ed and I were complete sheep shagging jerks for forcing her to spend an entire evening with Laura by herself, Jack called and said she'd locked herself in Max's room the next day and refused to come out, which sent my anxiety off the chart and I had a small meltdown until max called her and told me she was fine and was just in his bed wearing his clothes. That she was sad but okay. He had a grin like a Cheshire Cat, so we probed him a little further, hoping it wasn't something weird. He said she told him I know you're coming home to get me but I miss you and asked him to make sure he bought me back with him. It was a mixed feeling for me, knowing she was confident Max was coming back pleased me, she'd struggled a lot with that with William but she still didn't believe I was and that broke my heart. She trusted max more than she trusted me and that pissed me off immensely, Max and I hardly spoke that trip unless we were arguing.

I was taking Jem back to the clinic weekly to monitor her health, she was doing well, bar one blip week, which was a result of our work trip away which was no surprise to anyone that she hardly ate while we were away. she was no longer yellow, her stitches from my epic reaction to finding out about max hadn't even left a scar. I had even let max take her one time on his own, I was feeling rough so he jumped at the chance to prove himself to me. He kept telling me everyday at least once if not several times I'm gonna do it Matty, I'm gonna prove myself to you, I can do it, I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna win you over and you'll love me again and let me love her. I'd slapped him upside the head on moving day telling him to shut up and that he knew I loved him.

"Matty, delivery at the door sweetheart." Sandra pointed "think its Max's new bed, you want me to send Tom, I think he's in the garden."
"No I got it. I take it it's not bloody bunk beds." I sighed and shuddered, Sandra smiling at me "I don't want to think about what he's going to be doing in that thing."
"I'm sure he'll behave himself like he promised."
"It's weaver! He's impulsive at the best of times but as far as I'm aware he's behaved himself so far. Doesn't mean he's not doing other....stuff"
"You know I'm proud of you. Considering where you were four months ago, I'm very impressed."
"Thanks, I'm trying, for Jem, not him. this way mate" I pointed up the stairs showing the delivery men to the room Jem and max had called dibs on, I left them putting it together, coming back to find Sandra who was helping me unpack the kitchen