~16~ " How i truly feel.."

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"Argh!"

I clenched my chest tight, squeezing my eyes. My chest suddenly feels hurt again, although it's already went better back then. It was over midnight and my chest starting to tighten. I don't even have time to go to the bathroom and ended up throwing up inside my room.

I coughed non stop as bloods are dripping to the floor. More petals are falling down along with the blood. F*ck..it hurts.. I tried to catch my breath.

Suddenly i can hear footsteps came from outside and my brother's voice calling me.

"Seungmin?? Are you alright? I heard a coughing voice" Wonpil asked as he open the door. His eyes are widen in shock when he saw the blood and petals on the floor. Not to mention , i still coughing out the flower petals as i felt it chocking my lungs.

"Oh my God.." He lost his words as he stares at the petals, shaking his head in disbelievement "Kim Seungmin, you're coming to the hospital with me" Wonpil grabs one of my wrist and tries to pull me up, but i refuses him.

"No- i'm okay" i coughed off the remaining blood and wipes my mouth with a piece of tissue "i'm sorry, i'll clean this.."

"NO you're NOT ! How did you suppose to be okay, idiot! You became like this because of that idiot guy! Why can't you just let him go?!" Wonpil yells at me. He almost never raised his voice like this infront of me, but i can tell how mad he is right now.

"This is..nothing.. I'm not that weak to lose with this stupid disease" i grabbed on my bedsheet and gets up on my feet, then i walked out of the room, but Wonpil holds my wrist and stopped me.

"It's stupid but it can take your life! YOU MIGHT DIE, SEUNGMIN!"

I only smiles at him.

"You know that he won't return your love, why did you tortured yourself like this??!!" Wonpil raises his voice again.

I sighed, but smiling at him after "he might never return my love.. But the feelings i have for him is real and sincere. Even i have to die, i would be happy to die while loving him"

"That was..STUPID!!"

Wonpil angrily slaps me until i almost fell down to the ground. I hissed in pain while holding my cheek, it was hurt. Wonpil never hurt or hit me before, this is the first time. And it hurts so badly.

"I CARE ABOUT YOU , I LOVE YOU! YOU ARE MY ONLY BROTHER AND YOU'RE GOING TO DIE JUST FOR HIM?!!! CAN'T YOU JUST THINK STRAIGHT FOR ONCE?!! I DISSAPOINTED IN YOU!"

He snapped at me as he pushed me to the side and leave me alone. I was just staring at his back as he dissapears, i lost all the words, and i can only feel pain right now. The pain from outside and inside.

How much longer should i endure this? Why can't i just unlove him?

I fall on my knees, tears are dripping along my face. I cried as I covering my face with my palms.

It hurts.. One sided love is hurt.

We used to be together, but now we're like a strangers.
You used to say that you loved me, but now you seem to hate me.

"I love you.. Hwang Hyunjin.." I hissed between my tears, and i began to coughed out the petals again.

I never thought that we will have an ending like this.

***

I walked to school like usual. But today, i have a hard time to breath normally, when i breaths, my lungs feel hurt. But i just do my best to endure the pain, no one seem to notice as well. Especially Hyunjin.

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