ˢʷᵉᵉᵖ ᵐᵉ ᵒᶠᶠ ᵐʸ ᶠᵉᵉᵗ {ᶜᵒᵐᵖˡᵉᵗᵉᵈ}

𝐞𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐧

i sit in silence in the waiting room. it feels odd. the usual beeping of the monitor and the low hum of the machines is now silenced. how do i face payton. he doesn't even know who i am. he loves me, deep down he does. he just doesn't know it. he can't remember it. it's not his fault. somehow i wish it was, then at least i could blame him without feeling guilty. his family is visiting him. he remembers them. he even remembers cassie. but not me. never me. not my friends. not my mom. not my sister.

"payton why don't you remember tessy?" i hear noah say in payton's room.

"honey, payton is a little confused ok?" i hear his mom say. i look up and see noah run towards me.

"why doesn't payton remember you?" he asks as i wipe the tears off my face.

"i don't know buddy. at least he remembers you." i try to be helpful.

"but why not you?" he asks.

"sometimes things happen. and it causes people to forget things. what was once so important to someone can feel so distant and then they stop and look around and don't even know what's happening anymore." i stare off into space while saying that. i shake my head and look at noah.

"go be with your brother. he loves you." i smile and hug him. i shoo him away to go be with payton and he turns around and walks back to payton's room. i turn around in my seat and see the girls.

"he won't remember you." i tell them all.

"what?" i remember they don't know about his memory loss.

"oh i forgot to tell you guys. payton can't remember anything from all of senior year. so he doesn't remember you. and he doesn't remember me." the emotion in my voice fades away.

"tess i am so sorry."  kallie hugs me and i pull away.

"it's fine. go see if he remembers any of you." i shrug. they all look at each other and walk into the room. a few minutes later they walk back into the waiting room.

"nope." riley says, sitting down beside me.

"he thought we were surgeons." savannah says.

"yeah." i sigh. we all sit there in silence for a minute.

"i can't do this. i'm going home." i stand up. i feel kallie grab my arm. i pull away.

"no." riley says and pulls me towards her.

"what?" i start to get mad because she has her hand on my shirt and she has my face really close to hers.

"i said no. you will not leave. i don't care if payton doesn't remember you, he doesn't remember us either. you don't get to leave. i don't care if you're in pain or if you're mad. payton, your fiancé, is confused and scared. and you need to stay here and be there for him every step of the way no matter what you feel because this is not about you right now, tess. this is about payton." she lets go of my shirt and i sigh.

"you're right. it's not about me." i sit back down. this isn't about me. this is about payton. and riley is right. i need to be here for him. because he needs it. and i love him.

*this chapter was gonna be longer but i didn't want it to drag on so yuh and i'm tired so i'm going to bed*