LOVE IS ALL I HAVE

Chapter 7

"Then, you can go back now. I can't let you meet him, you'll just make things worse." Elena was standing up, right away trying to leave when Tee holds her arm. "Please, at least let me saw him once. If he has to leave with you because you are having a child with him, just...."

Elena was pushing Tee's arm that was holding her arm tightly. "I wasn't pregnant, and I don't have any relationship with Copter. Seriously, Tee, you don't know? I can't he...."

"I thought you have a thing with him. If I told you the truth, I'm afraid you will hate me, or him. I wanted to support him, if he was choosing you, just like he always did for me, all this time, supporting me with Bas. If you wasn't pregnant with his child, then why did you showed me that report? I realize now, I did rape him that night, and he was a virgin. That guy never had any relationship, and it must hurt him like hell. I couldn't even remember if I was gentle or not that night. He keeps everything from me, every single things, stupid Copter treating me like an idiot, then leaving me hanging just like that."

Tee was kneeling on the floor, raking his hair frustration and he was a crying mess. Of course he knew how he felt. It's just that, he was stupid to realize that once Copter was gone. He wanted to hugs him so badly just now, but this woman keeps him from doing it.

Elena came closer to Tee after giving him some time to cry, holding both his shoulder pulling him up. Tee was taking his seat once again, so do Elena.

"Those reports was Copter's." Tee was looking at Elena's face with his straight face while wiping away his tears. "Which one?" he would asked.

"All of it." Tee was blinking his eyes a few times before he make an irritating face. "It was a pregnancy report. You were wrong." Saying that, Tee could see Elena's reaction doesn't change and that she was confident in her words, and looking at him straight to his eyes.

"Your child." Tee couldn't processed her words. Any of it. "Wait. What?" Elena heaving a heavy sigh.

"Copter was born with dual gender, but the other gender, let's say, couldn't properly formed that we couldn't tell it physically. He had the woman hormone and the womb too. It wasn't a healthy womb, but it still could produce eggs poorly and it happened it was at the time of the month. The time you raped him that night.

Copter didn't aware with his situation too, he might felt uncomfortable a little bit somewhere around his stomach once a month, or maybe once in three months, like I said his womb was weak, and that his pee would had a little blood, but it was so little that you couldn't tell it was blood. And yes, he's pregnant with your child and he struggled to keep it. But never once he thought of getting rid of it, even he knew people would call him freak. But what makes him afraid the most was you thinking that he was a freak, that he was stressed by it every day, thinking whether or not he could see you."

It was a lot to take, but how afraid Copter must be, dealing with all this all alone. Afraid of what he might said about all this. Tee couldn't contained his tears, just thinking about Copter and how much he had to suffer because of him.

"How struggle? How bad?" Tee couldn't help but to ask.

"When he found out he was pregnant, he was 4 weeks old. And luckily, it was Andy who had examined him, and he was happened to know about my research. I approach him right away, and offered to take care of him and his baby, and with a condition, he would be my subject of research. He didn't have another choice I think, but to accept my offer.

The first two months living with me, he couldn't even eat, so I had to infuse him with fluid. Only this few weeks his conditions get better and that he could swallow a few things, enough to regain his energy. Last night was critical, and even I was afraid for him, and I couldn't wished for it to happened again, Tee. I know he needs you and that he missed you so much, but his fears eating him up, that led to a nightmare, and his baby affected by it too. Will you accept him and his baby, Tee?"

Elena's question making Tee frowning so hard that his two eyebrows almost meet each other. "What are you talking about? He is my Copter, no matter what, will forever be my Copter. And besides, the child was mine, and it was my responsibility to begin with. Stupid Copter."

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Copter felt his eyes was heavy that it was hard to just opening his eyes. But he was opening it by the way, with a scrunched up face, and it was hard to get used to the light right away, so he was taking his time. Once he could open his eyes, he was looking around. This wasn't the room he was living in, in these few months. Looking more at the surrounding and his own hands that was connecting to the fluid he could tell right away he was at the hospital.

He took in deep breath, and he could remember the night he was bleeding so much. He was having a nightmare of how disgusted Tee was looking at him with his stomach showing and that he would be leaving with Bas not before giving away harsh words to him and his baby, and on top of that calling him a freak!

He couldn't help but to let his tears falls again. It might be the hormone, it might be the baby, but just thinking about Tee was making his tears fall so easily, unlike himself. He missed that annoying guy so much. He never thought loving a guy could be this hard, and hurtful. But the hardest part was, to let himself get away with it, which he never could, no matter how hard he tried.

He thought living far from him could do it, but unfortunately it only pushed him deeper. What worst is that he really missed the guy and wished he could turn back the time, and if only being a friend with him letting he see Tee's face every day, he thought that would a lot better than living without seeing him.

Copter couldn't calm himself. Elena had told him countless times that he crying would be bad for his baby. But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't let himself be happy, for being a freak, and all. No, he would never hate his baby, it's just that he think his baby will face a harsh world, if living with him as the mother. He would cry to that too. No matter what, his situation wasn't great, even though he thinks his baby is indeed a miracle, yet he couldn't be happy. He hates himself for that.

Every night before sleep he would always apologize to his baby, for crying so much, and that he couldn't be happy like Elena expect him to be. And that he missed the father so much, but was really afraid the father of his baby would despised him and the baby.

If that really happened, he....... That was the scariest thing for him now, that's why he couldn't dare to see the guy.

"Cop, why are you crying? Any pain? Hurt anywhere?" Copter was stunned. His crying stop abruptly watching the face he missed the most, with the worried tone that warms his heart every time he hears it. Is this a dream? He wouldn't actually be here, right?

"Cop, answer me, na? Are you hurt anywhere?" Tee keeps on checking Copter's body trying to find the source that makes Copter crying until he felt the cold hand, that was touching his cheek, rubbing on it, making his moving halted.

Tee was holding Copter's hand on his cheek, making Copter shocked at the touch. Reflexively, Copter was trying to pull his hand back, but Tee was holding it tight, making it stay on Tee's cheek. Tee was looking at Copter with eyes that could make Copter's breathe hitch, eyes he never saw on Tee, the eyes who was always looking at him plainly, showing more to it now. Copter's heart pounding, and he should breath normally, he knew he should. But he wasn't sure how to do it now.

"I'm sorry."

End of Chapter 7