Chapter Ten

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Everything was pretty much back to normal after I worked with ATEEZ. At least, I thought it was. About two weeks later, I got up for school and didn't feel right. Taemin came to check on me while I was still doing a self-check on my heart rate.

"Do you need your emergency meds, Ryu-ah?" he asked me.

"No," I replied, shaking my head. "Call both of us out of school and then call my cardiologist. Take me to the hospital, Taemin. I just woke up. My heart rate shouldn't be this high."

Taemin looked nervous, but went to do just that. I called Appa as I got dressed in sweats and a loose shirt.

"Are you okay, Ryu-ah?" Appa answered immediately.

"I think so," I replied. "But I'm having Taemin take me to the hospital. It's not an emergency, but I just woke up and my heart rate is high. Rather than letting it get worse, I'm going to go now. I don't want you to panic and come home, Appa. Taemin is already calling the cardiologist. He's handling it fine. If he can't, I'll call Leeteuk."

"I should be with you," Appa argued.

"No, you should be exactly where you are. Working," I told him. "If something is actually wrong and the cardiologist thinks you need to come back, he'll call you. If not, I'm just giving you a heads up, Appa."

"I don't like this," he replied.

"You didn't like having to go back to work in 2014 either, but ultimately everything was fine, Appa. It will be now, too."

"Fine. But Taemin better call and update me later. I don't care what time."

"Okay, Appa."

I got off the phone and Taemin came in to see if I was ready. We got into the car and made our way to the hospital.

After doing a checkup on me, my cardiologist agreed my heart rate wasn't good. He admitted me to the cardiac unit for observation to get a clear reading on my heart for at least 24 hours. He reassured Taemin that it was nothing to worry about at this point and, as my guardian, he was welcome to stay as long as his schedule allowed him to.

"You don't need to stay, Oppa," I told Taemin when the doctor left. "I know you have a meeting at SM today. The doctor will be back in a few minutes. When he comes in, he's gonna give me something to bring my heart rate down and help me sleep. Trust me when I say I'm going to be out like a light for the next few hours. Gwaenchanha. Don't worry. This isn't my first time doing this."

"Are you sure?" he asked nervously.

I saw the cardiologist coming back.

"Watch," I told him.

The cardiologist did exactly what I said he'd do. When he left again, I looked back to Taemin.

"See? Now go do what you have to. Just let Taeyong know what's going on? I don't want Jisung panicking that I wasn't at school and this isn't something I should text him while he's there. And bring me real food later. I hate hospital food."

He laughed and left.

Several hours later, I woke up in the hospital and realized something that I couldn't tell my cardiologist. My nightmares must have been the cause of my heart rate being as out of control as it had been on and off lately. I knew I should tell him, but if I did, it would only be a partial truth. I couldn't tell him that the nightmares from when I was ten were back and worse because of Woojin.

"Are you okay, Ryu-ah?" I heard a voice in the dark corner of the room and got slightly nervous.

Seeing the effect my nerves were having on my heart rate, the person came forward.

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