ZINA (BWWM)

Chapter Twelve

I swear Zina is going to be the death of me. That little stunt she pulled earlier threatening to kiss me if we didn't watch this movie. It's hard for me to admit but it made me aroused. The moment she was sitting there looking up at me with desire, I wanted to take things further. I wanted her to kiss me and she knows it. Zina has me right on the edge of a cliff, all I had to do is take a step over. 
 
It worked because here we are, a giant bowl of popcorn between us watching the movie. Though I'm not actually focusing on it. I'm watching her. She's been more obvious with her feelings. Constantly touching me, moving closer, making her eyes more sultry when she looks at me. 
 
It's getting out of control. It's driving me mad. Every time she touches ny arm my member swells in my pants. I keep chanting I don't want her. Like it's a magic spell to keep me in control. Gods know how much she's tempting me. Zina had the brilliant idea for us to shower before the movie, so she could change into the sexiest piece of sleepwear. 
 
It's a navy blue matching two-piece, with shorts and the smallest top that reveals the way too much cleavage. She's not wearing a bra either. I can see her arousal painted in my face through the thin fabric. She's trying to make me give in, and with every second I'm getting closer to crossing the threshold. It's on the precipice of my existence. I don't want her, I don't want her. 
 
Just focus on the movie Mathias. It'll be finished soon. She's not making it easy for me at all. It doesn't help that everyone seems to think it's alright for us to be together. I heard what Seline said to Zina before she left for the day. I'm on a ship all by myself and it's slowly sinking. 
 
Zina moves the bowl as we run out of popcorn. She places it on the floor. I sense her edging closer. She scoots and scoots until she's almost sitting in my lap. Zina is trying to kill me. I don't want her. I DON'T want her. I don't want... her. 
 
"What are you doing?" I whisper. 
 
I know exactly what she's doing. 
 
"You're too far away." 
 
"Well your too close." 
 
I move away on my side. The lights are off except for the glow of the TV but I can still make out Zina's features. She bites her lips getting closer. We're not even watching the movie. Maybe its time for dinner. Better yet time for me to go to bed. 
 
Zina touches my leg in a suggestive way. I tense up as I harden painfully so. She rubs my legs slowly moving up to my erection. Just before she nears I stop her. Holding her arms away from me. 
 
"Zina. Stop it. What's your problem?" 
 
"I don't have a problem." 
 
I'm going insane. She makes me want to say fuck it, and literally fuck... her. Where did that come from? Fuck! You don't want her. She's 17. Sevnteen for God's sake. I can't do this. 
 
"I'm going to turn in for tonight." 
 
I get up and leave Zina to finish the movie without me. I'm not strong enough to sit beside her. I can't take the risk. She's so tempting and seductive. How? She shouldn't have any experience. I need help. Something is wrong with me. I can't be thinking about her in this way. She's not tempting. She's not seductive. Who am I kidding she is and more.
 
I'm going to hell for sure. I'm a liar. Maybe I should call Ashley. That'll send the wrong message. Ashley is someone, once you give her an inch she wants a mile. I can't call her. Maybe an old fling.  
 
I don't want to leave her alone just so I can fuck someone. Shit, I'm already rationalizing out of it. I need help. Nick. Let's talk to Nick. I pace as I call him.
 
"Mathias, what's up?"
 
"Nick. I'm losing it. I'm breaking. I want her." 
 
Shit, I want her. No, I don't...
 
"Mathias you there?" 
 
"Yeah sorry. I'm losing my mind. She's making it hard. I don't know what to do. I'm so close to saying fuck it." 
 
"I told you there's already something between you. I think you should. Zina might be exactly what you need." 
 
"No, I can't. It's not right. She's 17." 
 
"You know in another universe Zina isn't 17, she's 28. Or maybe your 17 and she's 22. It's a number. Forget about the facts, think about your feelings. Do you want her?" 
 
"Nick I called you to persuade me, not convince me." 
 
"Well sorry, not sorry. I'm on team Zina. If you don't want to listen to me I'll talk to you later. You interrupted something. Bye." 
 
"Bye." 
 
Sometimes I really wish he was the sensible one. Nick didn't help at all. I need a cold shower maybe that will help. Screw if I already showered. Stripping I head to the bathroom. Turning the water to freezing. It stings my flesh but I bear it. It helps somewhat. My dick deflates.
 
I step out once I've had enough. Drying my hair and body. I'm hungry I realize now I can think clearly. Maybe Zina will have gone to bed. I dress in my normal sleepwear. Heading downstairs to the kitchen. Inside the refrigerator I see containers of food Seline prepared. 
 
I make myself a plate of white rice and curry chicken. Some times Seline makes dishes from her home country. I know it's going to taste great. Once I place the leftovers away my plate is put in the microwave. I turn around noticing Zina left the TV on. Its paused on the credits. 
 
Zina is curled up on the sofa sleeping. Her top has ridden up exposing her flat stomach. I look away to gather myself. She'll catch a cold if she sleeps here. I'm afraid touching her will make me give up. I sound like a man gone mad. She's making me crazy with lust. 
 
It's not like I've never been around someone beautiful before. But there's something different about Zina. She has something that makes me desire her, unlike any other woman. I pick her up covering her stomach. She shifts in my arms tucking herself into my chest. She doesn't wake up thankfully. I don't know what would happen if she did while I'm carrying her. 
 
I'd be mortified. I push the door open. Carrying Zina to her bed I peel back the top sheet. I place Zina down covering her to the shoulder. Zina exhales settling down. I memorize her face, skin, cheeks, nose, lips. What if I kissed her this once? She's asleep she wouldn't know. Maybe then I'll be able to move on. What if it makes it worst?
 
Zina turns on her side towards me. I sit on the bed stroking her face marveling at the softness. She's so smooth. Is she smooth everywhere? Fuck you can't think like that. I need to leave before I do something I can't take back. 
 
When I stand up I feel Zina hold my arm. Good thing I didn't kiss her. 
 
"Mathias." 
 
"Yes, little one." 
 
"Can you stay?" 
 
"I can't, I told you it would only be once." 
 
"Please, can't you stay." 
 
"I can't. Good night." 
 
I leave before she wins me over. I can't break my promise. I can't sleep next to her when I have such thoughts. It's like giving up. I can't, even if my body wants to. My mind knows she's 17. I need to do something. This is getting out of hand. 
 
 
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