ZINA (BWWM)

Chapter Thirteen

Sunday morning. You'd think since it's my day off I'd be excited. Sadly that's not the case. I dred seeing Zina. Especially since today is Seline's day off. Seline is off every Sunday. Saturdays too except the last Saturday of each month. 
 
Back to Zina. Today is sure to be me trying to inhibit myself. I'm sure she'll continue to throw herself at me. Make it incredibly hard to stay focus. Last night I was close to giving in. I have to stay firm on this. I can't let my dick control me. I'm an adult man for crying out loud, not some teenager. I don't think staying in my office all day will work. She'll just come barging in again. 
 
I have to spend my Sunday as I normally would. Maybe go out instead. Do something to distract her. I might be reaching but who knows. 
....
 
"Zina get dress. We're going out." 
 
I know I woke her. Zina loves to sleep more than a newborn. It's cute really how much she sleeps. I'm already dressed. Breakfast is waiting in the microwave. I prepared and already ate to speed up the morning.
 
I wait at the table scrolling through my emails. There isn't anything too important. My messages blink in a few texts from an unknown number. I read them knowing they're from Ashley. She's getting even bolder texting me after I ended things. I block her. If it continues I'll get a new number.
 
I'm tired of her antics. It needs to stop. She's acting like a psycho bitch. Thankfully I can easily dodge her. 
 
"I'm ready. Where are we going?" 
 
Zina comes down. Wearing a Jean's skirt and a peach crop top, with white converse. It shows her stomach so I look away. Control yourself, Mathias. She looks cute. 
 
"I'll get your breakfast. Have a seat." 
 
I grab her plate and utensil. Zina's eyes brighten as she sees the food. Another thing she loves. She thanks me and starts eating. I get her a cup of orange juice. 
 
"Thank you. You didn't answer my question." 
 
"Its a surprise. You'll know when we get there." 
 
She doesn't like my answer. Zina continues eating. I watch her realizing she put on more weight. Her once sickly thin body is filled out, plump in all the right places. Her arms no longer bony and her face is full in her cheeks, and under eyes. It makes her even harder to resist. 
 
I'm happy she's getting the nourishment she needs. The next time she weights should be better. I should get a scale. 
 
"I'm done." 
 
Zina puts her plate in the sink and washes her hands. I grab her phone.
 
"Come on, little one." 
 
We take a smaller vehicle. Not my oversized jeep. I don't want to pick her up and risk it being weird. Zina gets in, and buckles up. I drive off to our destination. I hope she likes where we're going. It must be her first time. 
 
Where did I take us? To an amazement park. Zina stares out the window at the rides and other things. Maybe I should have asked if she's scared of heights. We get out and I go around to her side. Watching her expression to see what she thinks. 
 
"Where are we?" 
 
"An amusement park. Do you like it?" 
 
"Yes." 
 
She takes my hand. We head over to the entrance joining one of the many lines. Zina looks around. When it's our turn I pay for two all-day passes. I'm given two wristbands. Zina looks as I put hers on then my own. I make sure it not too tight. The first thing we see after entering is a large Ferris wheel. 
 
"Want to go on it?" 
 
Zina nods holding my hand. I know it's because she is fearful around large crowds. Her intentions aren't sexual. There is a decent length line for the Ferris wheel. Zina step joins in place me towering over her small frame. We slowly move up in the line. People ahead getting on and some coming off. 
 
"Are you scared of heights? I forget to ask." 
 
She turns around her eyes pointed towards me. She smiles. 
 
"I don't know actually. Guess we'll find out." 
 
Hopefully not. Even if she is there's still things we can do. We move up more. There are only four people before us. Zina's grips my hand. Soon we are getting in, sitting side by side. The staff locks the metal door. They put on a few others on different carts. The wheel starts going around. 
 
Zina peers out the metal box, while gripping my arm. She's tucked into my side. 
 
"Are you okay? Are you scared?" 
 
"A little but I'm okay. I don't know if it's from us being high up or from it being my first time on one of these." 
 
She made a good point.
 
"It's okay I'm here. It's very safe. We'll be on the ground soon." 
 
Zina nods. We get to the very top and it slows a little giving us time to take in the view of all the rollercoasters, games, other rides, food stands. Zina is staring hard at the merry go round. I decide right away its where we'll go next. We can work our way up to the big stuff. I want her to have fun. 
 
She looks away moving her hazel eyes to me. She looks at me with longing and her feelings clear as day. I look away because I can't. I can't. Zina attempts to lay her head on my shoulder but she's too short. Instead, she settles for my bicep. Her locs hit my skin. Their texture almost itchy but comforting at the same time. 
 
We stay like this until its time to get off. When we do Zina appears more at ease. I lead us through the crowds. We pass several exciting things on our way to the merry go round. When we stop in front of it, Zina animatedly says.
 
"Yes let's ride this. Let's go, Mathias." 
 
The way she says my name makes my knees buckle. I snap out of it as she drags me to the merry go round. We get on quick because there isn't a line. Zina straddles a horse holding on while I get on one right across from her. If I knew this is what it took to get a smile out her I should have taken us here sooner. 
 
The merry go round starts and Zina beams with joy and pure euphoria. She looks even younger with her eyes brightened, grin wide, and cheeks pushed up. Its a look I love on her. For the first time she genuinely feeling. There isn't that dark look in her eyes. I'm this moment she's a young teen having a blast like any other. There is no pain, there is no twisted past. Just her having fun. 
 
I feel my chest tighten. I grip harder on the ride. Zina is holding on leaning back staring at the ceiling going round and round. Her long dreadlocks flailing. She has not a care in the world and that's all I ever want. 
....
 
I love this place Mathias brought us. We have been going around playing games, going on rides, just having a great time. He even let me hold his hand the entire time. We took pictures in the photo boot, he even won me a small teddy bear. I named him Mathias. He'll have to do for now. 
 
We're eating me hotdogs and fries. Mathias has a burger and some sort of delicious fried thing with white sprinkles all over it. I'm going to ask for a piece once he gets to it. We decided after we eat we'll go on the Ferris wheel one last time then head home. I can't wait. I think I'll be okay. I know what to expect. 
 
Mathias chews. He looks at me as I bite into my second hotdog. His brown eyes darken weirdly. I don't know why, I ignore it. I chew then drink some of my juice.
 
"Did you have fun?" Mathias asks. 
 
"I did. We should come here again." 
 
"We will. I'm happy you enjoyed it." 
 
He starts ripping a piece of that fried thing. I stare at it wondering what it will taste like. I watch Mathias eat it. He looks at me and offers me a piece.
 
"Here try it."
 
It's a little messy but when I taste it I moan at how delicious it is. What is this thing? 
 
"You like  it?" 
 
I only nod because my mouth is full. Mathias pushes it to the center of the table.
 
"We can share." 
 
So we share what Mathias calls a 'funnel cake.' I can't believe I never had it before. It's like heaven in your mouth. Soon its all gone and I pout. I could eat another one. Maybe even five more.. Mathias smirks at my reaction. 
 
"Want me to get us another one?" 
 
"Yes please." 
 
"Okay. I'll be over there." He points to a food stand. 
 
"Stay here. I'll be back." 
 
Mathias goes to the food stand and I turn back drinking my juice. I wipe my mouth to get rid of the power. It kept falling off. I look at my phone to see the time. It's getting late. It's 8 pm. We've been here all day. Time sure flies when you're having fun. 
 
"Hi mind if I have a seat." 
 
It's a boy looking my age. Maybe a little older. He has brown curly hair into a bun with shaven sides. He looks cute with dark brown eyes and full lips. He looks like an athlete with broad shoulders and a firm chest.
 
"They say if you take a picture it lasts longer." 
 
He jokes. He caught me staring. I haven't seen anyone my age. Especially something as good looking. Though he's no Mathias I can still appreciate. 
 
"Sorry, this seat is taken." 
 
"I don't see anyone here but you pretty girl. What's your name?" 
 
I look over to the food stand. I see Mathias angry watching us as he pays for the funnel cake. Why is he upset? He's made it clear he doesn't like me. 
 
"Not going to tell me your name." 
 
I glance back at the boy. He is smiling. 
 
"My name is Zina. What's you're name?" 
 
"It's get lost kid," Mathias interjects before he can answer. The boy looks at Mathias then at me. 
 
"Is this your dad?" 
 
"Yes get going." 
 
Mathias sounds annoyed. The boy smirks and gets up from Mathias's seat. He comes over and takes out a pen writing down something on one of the unused napkins. 
 
"That's my number beautiful. My name is Elliot. Call me." 
 
He winks at me. Making me blush. Elliot waves goodbye as he leaves. I wave too. Going to pick up the napkin but Mathias beats me to it. 
 
"What the hell Zina? I leave you for one second. Who was that boy?"
 
"Can I get my napkin to please?" 
 
Mathias looks ready to yell at me. I don't know what's his problem. I don't see what's the issue. 
 
"You're not getting it. Answer my question." 
 
"Why. He wrote his number for me. I want it."
 
Now I know I'm only making it worst by raising my voice. But I don't care. He wants to act like he doesn't like me then gets jealous. 
 
"Zina."
 
"His name is Elliot. Can I have his number now?" 
 
Mathias's eyes seemingly get more boiled. He rips the napkin into tiny pieces. Why did he do that? 
 
"Why did you do that?" 
 
"You don't need his number. You don't know him."
 
"Really and who should I be talking to then, you? You don't like me remember. You've made that clear." 
 
"Zina its..." 
 
I interrupt whatever excuse he's going to give. 
 
"I'm ready to go. I'm tired."
 
I get up waiting for him to take us home. I don't feel like eating the funnel cake anymore. Such a waste really. Mathias throws away our garbage. I grab Mathias the bear, nearly strangling the poor thing. 
 
He comes around taking my hand leading the way. I get drag out the amusement park to the parking lot. I can't believe him. He literally makes no sense. 
 
We get to his car I get in. Looking out the window. Its night now the sun long gone. There are people around going to their cars too. Smiling looking like they had a great time. I should be looking like them but instead, I'm sitting here annoyed. 
 
"Zina you're not going to talk to me." 
 
I respond with total silence. Facing the window. He starts the car. I zone out the entire ride home. I only know when we arrive after he taps my shoulder.
 
"We're home now." 
 
Great. I get out storming to the door. I wish I had a key so I could go in. Mathias comes and unlocks the door. I go to my room. He's following me. 
 
"Zina wait." 
 
He stops me as I'm about to open the door. I turn around. He looks sorry. 
 
"What do you want?" 
 
"We had such a great day. Let's not end it on a bad note because of a stranger. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled at you." 
 
"I'm not upset because you yelled. I'm upset because you don't care about my feelings. You say you don't like me but when someone else does, its an issue you. That doesn't make sense." 
 
"I know little one. I don't know why I got so angry. You should like people your own age like him." 
 
"I should but guess what I don't. I like you but I know you don't want me. What am I supposed to do when you won't let me pursue someone else?" 
 
I pull away opening my door.
 
"Good night." 
 
With that, I slam the door. I don't care if it's rude. Mathias, you can't have your cake and eat it too. That's not how it works. 
 
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