ZINA (BWWM)

Chapter Fourteen

A Week Later

I still don't know why I was so angry about that boy. Honestly, I know I just don't want to admit it. Admit I hate the thought of Zina with someone else. Thought that person not being me. Which is crazy if I think about it. It's confusing, I don't want her but at the same time, I do. I do. She drives me wild with the insane amount of desire she calls out inside me. 
 
Whenever she's around my body becomes flush with need. It itches to hold her close, kiss her, take her, make love to her. Do unspeakable things no father figure should imagine doing. I don't know what to do about it. Even here at work, my thoughts are wrapped up in her. I'm losing focus from work. Mind in a daze. 
 
Every second, minute, the hour that goes by I'm tempted to drive home and ravage her. You can't Mathias. I have things to do. A new deal with a smaller company to undertake. A smaller company I'm considering a partnership contract with.
 
"Mr. King. I'm heading down to lunch. Do you need my help before I go?" 
 
"No, Ms. Reed go enjoy your lunch." 
 
Olive closes the door. I go back to my thoughts. I need to snap out of it. I really need to eat myself. I haven't had anything but a slice of toast and coffee. 
 
Sadly Zina is still upset with me. Now I'm the one being avoided. Our roles have switched. I'm the one vying for her attention. No more playful passes at me. No more touching me constantly. It's as if I don't matter. I'm starting to question if she's moved on. Why does the thought sting? I should be happy. It will make life easier. 
 
Why am I not happy? It's what I wanted. 
 
I might as well order in today. Eat alone. Today I don't feel like smiling to my employees. My life feels like it's slowing changing. I'm not sure if it's for the better. Still, I don't regret buying Zina. It's one of the best things I've done. She needed a better life than what was in store if someone else purchased her.  
 
I'm certain many of the wealthy people present at auction had sick desires they wanted to fulfill. Zina lucked out with me. I have to belive it was for good reason. The only thing is I wish things weren't so complicated between us. 
 
I order from a local restaurant in the area. In about twenty minutes it should arrive. Olive will bring it to me. 
....
 
Did you and Zina do it yet? 
 
Nick messages while I'm in a board meeting. I flip my phone over ignoring him. Nick isn't someone who gives up easily. When he's stuck on something he's determined to see it through. 
 
You can tell me. I won't judge you.
 
He's going to keep texting until I respond. Ignore him, Mathias. The deal being presented is to the CEO of the small company I'm interested in partnering with. He looked please at the offer. I want to buy them eventually but not yet, in a few years once their net worth rise. I plan to grow them into a successful company then poach them under King Enterprise. 
 
We shake hands at the end. Both signing our side of the contract. Olive will send their copy to their legal department. The meeting is a success. My phone sits in my pocket buzzing as Nick hasn't given up. When I'm back in the privacy of my office I read his messages.
 
You did. 
Did you sleep with her? 
I'm going to think so unless you say otherwise. 
Mathias. You know I hate being ignored. 
They're nothing wrong with having feelings for Zina. 
Hey. Hey. 
 
Hence what I said. He's incredibly stubborn. Still, he's my only true friend. Nick is someone I don't take for granted. Being a wealthy man most people who surround me are only after my fortune but not Nick. Nick genuinely doesn't care about that. He never focused on my businesses, wealth, or anything of that sort. Why when he's known me my whole life.
 
We've been friends for two decades now. Nick is familiar with my family. I trust him. So I know he means well. I might as just call before he spams me all day. Trust me he's done it before.
 
"Hey, Nick."
 
"Finally I thought I'd have to drive over to get a response." Nick jokes. 
 
"I was in a meeting. For your information, I haven't slept with Zina and I don't plan on it." 
 
"Really now. Well, it's often the things we don't plan that are the most pleasurable."
 
I shake my head. He's right but I'm not going to admit it. 
 
"You have your answer. But anyway are you free for a drink later. I need to relieve some stress." 
 
"Stress. Let me guess. You're suffering from blue balls." 
 
He's right again. The most extreme case since my pubescent years. I'm losing it. How Zina manages to render me back years of lesrned self-control? I don't think it was this painful back then.
 
"Yes. I'm walking on a thin line right now. Are you free?"
 
"I'm free, text me a location and time." 
 
"Alright. Later." I end the call. 
 
Hopefully, this helps. I don't know what else to do. If I'm lucky, I'll find someone to bring to a hotel. Maybe letting go is exactly what I need. Let's hope. 
....
 
Mathias is running later than usual. Its near midnight. He still hasn't come home. I'm beginning to worry. He didn't let me know he'd be late. This is a first. Wherever he is I hope he's okay. I wish he'd come home. I'm all alone in this mansion by myself. After being alone for so long I've gotten used to it.
 
I've gotten used to being surround by nothing but myself. Alone in that dark cold room with only my company. I'm not afraid of being alone. But now I have Mathias I'd rather be with him than be alone. He's become my new norm. Sharing a space with someone. It's nice. 
 
I would love to share his bed. But that'll never happen. A day when Mathias can get pass my age and accept me as a woman, not a child he rescued. When will that day come? Will it ever come.
 
I'm going to call him so see if he's okay. It's so late I can't help but worry. My cell rings for a minute before his familiar voice picks up.
 
"Zina. What happened?" 
 
"Mathias. When are you coming home?" 
 
The phone is pressed against my ear. I hear someone in the background. It sounds like he's shushing them.
 
"Quiet. I won't be home tonight. Go to bed I'll see you tomorrow, little one." 
 
Before I can ask who it is he hangs up. It sounds like a woman. He's out sleeping with someone. Someone who isn't me. It's probably Ashley. I hate her. He deserves better. It's so easy for him to push me aside and ignore my feelings. It's easy when in his eyes I'm not old enough to be with him.  
 
I didn't think my heart could ache anymore towards him. I guess I was wrong. When will this unrequited love end? I want to wake up and not feel anything for Mathias. I want to accept it's never gonna happen. I want to move on. Each day that I keep hoping and praying he'll change, another piece of my soul withers. 
 
Soon they'll be nothing left. Just an empty shell of a person. I survived being abandoned, being starved, being unfed, but I'm not sure I can survive a broken heart. Mathias is the one person that can hurt me. I wish I didn't feel anything.
 
If I could choose between living a life being shackled by this gut-wrenching sadness or live feeling nothing, nothing seems like the easier pill to swallow. It wouldn't hurt so much. My body wouldn't cry out for him. 
 
 
Please don't forget to vote!!!. I'm sorry for the long wait. This story is being written as I go. I don't have anything planned out, so updates are going to be slow. Please be patient.