ZINA (BWWM)

Chapter Twenty

Yesterday's dinner turned out okay. No one got hurt. I'm not being dramatic. When we came downstairs last night, I held breathe thinking something would go wrong. Nothing happened thankfully. Other than Marilyn watching me like a hawk while I ate. I felt her eyes on me the entire time. Somehow I understand her concerns. She's a mother who cares about her sons. 
 
If I was in her shoes, I'd be worried too if Mathias was my son. One day unexpectedly he's in a relationship with a girl young enough to be his child. 
 
It was interesting meeting his family. They each showed me their opinion in their own way. I think my favorite out of all of them is James. He seems really nice. He's the most understanding. Mathew tried his best to get my attention.
 
Mathias unfortunately is working today. So it's just me and Seline. I didn't know until last night but she knows about Mathias buying me. We were talking about it before dinner. I randomly asked. I've been curious if she knew.. Mathias confirmed she did. He didn't tell me in detail but promised to explain another time.
 
I've finished reading all three books Mathias bought me. Right now I'm a little bored because I usually spend my days reading for the majority of the day. If I'm not reading, I'm sleeping or helping Seline. Though she chides me that I don't need to help her. I like to, it makes me feel useful. I like Seline a lot. Sometimes when it's just us alone I find myself pretending we're mother and daughter.
 
That this is our home we live in together. I know it's just a mirage. I know she's not really my mother. My real mother abandoned me. I hate that inside I'm still hung up about it. I hate a tiny part of me yearns for her. Yearns for the motherly love I never received. 
 
"Yuh all right?" 
 
Seline turns to me. She was reorganizing my closet and cleaning my room. I'm assisting by passing her hangers to hang my clothes. 
 
"I'm okay." 
 
I sound like I'm asking, not telling. I'm not sure. Seline stops working and gives me her full attention. Seline has this way of reading me. I don't know how she does it, or when it started. 
 
"Yuh nuh look all right. Wah talk bout ti?" 
 
I shake my head no. Some people's coping mechanism is talking out their problems but that's not mine. I push my feelings to the back burner. It's a bad way of dealing, but it's the only way I know. 
 
"I'm here if yuh need mi fi listen. Let's finish up den go food shopping."
 
"Okay."
 
We continue straightening up not saying a word. Seline and I work in my closet. I moved on to change my sheets. Then swept as she cleaned the bathroom. Afterwards we replace the toiletry items, then the job is complete. Seline leaves my room to compile the grocery list. I changed into more appropriate clothes for outside.
 
I was wearing is my sleepwear from last night. I change into a pair of oversized Jean's that have small slits at the knee and a pale pink cropped top. I wear the same white sneakers I learned from Mathias are Adidas. The outfit gives me a cute tomboy look. My dreads are left loose down my back. They've grown close to my bottom and without having been retwisted in so long they aren't the neatest.
 
I'll have to remember to ask Mathias to take me to get a  my hair retwisted and maybe cut. 
 
"Zina, yuh ready?" 
 
"Yes."
 
I exit my room. Seline takes in my outfit. 
 
"Yuh look nice. Let's go." 
 
This is my first-time grocery shopping with Seline. We head out. She's carry cloth bags folded into each other. For carrying the groceries I guess. 
 
Seline lead me to where her car is parked. She has a silver SUV almost like the one James has. But it's not as flashy. We get in. Seline indicates for me to secure my seatbelt. When I do she does the same then adjusts her mirror. 
 
I'm glad she decides to take me with her. Otherwise, I'd be left alone in that big mansion. I'd be lonely if I were Mathias living in such a large home by myself until I came along. 
....
 
Shopping with Seline is fun. We went around gathering the food items Seline needs to prepare meals. I even picked up some snacks I'm interested to try. There's this one that has chocolate on one side and the other has tiny sticks to dip into the chocolate. I got some things I don't remember when I was younger. Though I'm basically still young. 
 
"I don't think the cart can hold anything else." 
 
Seline nods agreeing with me. Coming to this conclusion we head to check out. I don't know what's the name of this store but it's large with a lot of expansive healthy-looking food. The check out has three different aisles to wait in. There are TVs that tell you when it's time to go to the register. There system is moving at a good pace. 
 
Seline is pushing the shopping cart with me beside her. We are in the middle lane. Soon it's our turn. Seline carefully directs the car to the correct register that blinks on the screen above our heads. When we get there, the one person I never thought I'd see again is waiting. 
 
Elliott. The guy I met at the amusement park. His face says he's as surprised as I am to see me. He looks the same. But today he's wearing his work uniform. If I didn't like Mathias I'd probably like someone like him. He quickly shifts from surprise to charming. 
 
"We meet again Zina." 
 
"You remembered my name?"
 
Seline begins unpacking the cart. I focus helping her with the items. Elliott scans, bags with precision. I wonder why he remembers me. It's been a while since we met. Granted I remember him too. 
 
We continue like this until everything is bagged away.
 
"Can yuh put the heavy things in here? Thank you." 
 
Seline goes through her purse to pay. Elliott nods, doing as she requested. When he's done the total is a little over $200. Seline pays with a swipe card like the one Mathias uses. Only hers isn't black.
 
"You never called. Why?" 
 
I didn't have his number because Mathias tore it up. Even if I did I'm certain I wouldn't. To answer I shrug my shoulders in indifference. Elliot smiles while transferring all the bags back into the cart. 
 
"Thank you." Seline and I say at the same time. 
 
Seline puts away the card and grips the cart. 
 
"Will you call me this time?" 
 
I nod no. Then for more confirmation add "my dad doesn't like me talking to boys. Bye." 
 
I turn away and we push off. I turn back to see Elliot watching me, his eyes lowered. He sees I caught him so he quickly looks at the approaching customer. I know he likes me but it wouldn't work between us. I'm happy with Mathias. 
 
Seline and I walk out together going to her car. She unlocks the trunk with her feet which is so cool. I didn't know it could do that. Together we load all the bags. Making sure they secure before shutting the trunk. 
 
I feel her eyes on me. I  know she's going to ask who's Elliot. But instead, Seline randomly laughs. Loudly like she heard the funniest joke. I'm left confused. 
 
"Mi finally get fi see yuh humor." 
 
"What did I do?" 
 
I don't get it. I didn't say anything funny in the past hour. Seline indicates for me to push the card in the cart station. I do. Seline is waiting for me when I get in the passenger seat. I buckle up. 
 
She laughs again before turning on the engine. 
 
"Seline I don't get what's the joke." 
 
"It's funny. Wah fi help mi with dinna lata?" 
 
"Sure." 
 
"Okay." 
 
Along the way, I can't help but think about Seline's joke. I wonder what's so funny? More importantly, I wonder what Mathias will say when I tell him we ran into Elliot today. He'll probably get jealous. 
 
It nice knowing he gets jealous over me. Especially before I knew he felt the same way. Back then at the amusement park, I didn't know Mathias liked me. I thought it was one sided. Tonight is sure to be another fun night. I can't wait for him to come home. I miss him. 
 
 
Please vote and comment. I'm writing as I go so please bear with my slow updates. 
P.S. I wrote this chapter while jamming to Lady Gaga's new album Chromatica. It's so great I love it.