unhinged ↠ 𝐭𝐨𝐦 𝐫𝐢𝐝𝐝𝐥𝐞

eight

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Stop reading this, Ev.

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Kitioma Hadlee

               I cry. And I cry. And I cry and cry and cry until my eyes are red and puffy and screaming for water.

My throat is raw, my back aches. My hands shake, I cannot breathe.

What has my life become to?

My parents told me life would be difficult, but really? This?

I lean my head back into the wall, a choked sob escaping my throat.

Why do you hate me? Was it something I did?

Will you ever come back to me?

Salt makes me thirsty, but I refuse the thought of water, or food, for that matter. My head pounds, a low buzz fills my ears, giving me flashbacks of the night Sam tried to attack me.

Sam...

He didn't mean it. I'm sure of it. He was just going through something. Or maybe he was made to do it, someone was getting inside of his head, manipulating his actions.

"Hmm, I wonder who that could be?" I sob sarcastically. Just the thought of Tom, manipulating the teachers, putting me into this situation, killing my boyfriend...he makes me want to scream. Why does he want to hurt me so much? He can't possibly know anything, I'm just a girl, he's just a boy. An insane boy. Yes, he must be insane, he can't know anything about me.

He can't know about my past.

He can't.

Years before-

"Mom!" Tears stream down her face, the salt making lines on her chestnut cheeks. "Mom, no, please! Please, don't leave me!"

She reaches out for her mother as her father holds her back. "Kitioma, stop. Stop! She sacrificed her life for you, you can't just throw it away!"

Kitioma kneels on the ground, her father doing nothing but holding her, touching her, giving her comfort. Choked sobs are her breaths now, tears are her family. "Why me? Why did it have to be me, dad? I don't want to do this anymore!"

"I know, honey, I know. But breathe, Kiki, you need to breathe," He murmurs, running his hands through his daughter's black, curly hair. She tries to take breaths, but they come labored and harsh, her rib cage refusing much-needed air. Anyone who knows young Kiki knows she is having a panic attack, something not uncommon for her.

Her father holds her, rubbing small circles in her back, trying to calm her down. Kiki's sobs slowly become more and more powerful, wracking her tiny body. "Bring me mom," She cries. "Bring her. I want mom, bring her to me."

"Shhh, Kiki, you need to calm down, honey-"

"I want mom! Bring me mom! I don't want to do this anymore, please, dad, bring her back!" Her yells echo through the room as people walk into the room, surrounding her, watching the little girl try to cope, in her own, twisted way. The exchange glances and Kiki's father's face turns to a glare that could cut stone.

"Kiki, hey, I'm going to get you some water, ok?" Her father whispers into the young child's ear, and she nods, trying desperately to wipe the tears off of her face, huddled in the corner of the room. Her body shakes, from the cold or from her tears, no one knows.