Certain Uncertainties

XXVI

Soundtrack: Emerald Eyes by Anson Seabra

I've always imagined me and Deanna living a normal couple life. Going out together, holding hands as we walk in the mall, travelling to the places we've never been to and living peacefully under the same roof.

Maybe we can own a pet or two. She's a dog person, but I prefer cat. We can have both. Every Sunday, we attend the church. Buy some groceries and do laundry. Pretty much what a typical couple usually does.

But who the fuck am I kidding?

It's impossible for us to have a "normal couple life" when the cameras are always on us invading our privacy, watching every action that we do. A single mistake, a scandal.

It's gonna be the talk of the town.

And in all honesty? I don't even give a shit about them. Critics are born to criticize, haters will hate you whatever you do and those who believe in you will always have your back no matter what.

It's a simple math and yet, it's too complicated. It's suffocating, and this time, it's different.

Naramdaman kong may humawak sa balikat ko, napalingon ako. Tinanggal ko ang shooting earmuffs "Girl, I feel bad for the target. Halos madurog mo na" It's Keila.

Inilapag ko ang baril at tinanggal ang safety glasses. "Akala ko ba busy ka?" naiinis na tanong ko matapos uminom ng tubig. "Felt guilty after you called, e. Alam ko namang hindi ka mag-aaya ng hangout kung wala kang problema" sabi pa n'ya.

"First of all, Keila, we talk all the time. Parang gusto mong sabihin na kaya lang kita tinawagan today dahil may kailangan ako sa'yo" I rolled my eyes.

"It's 12PM. Kagigising ko lang kanina no'ng tumawag ka. I don't have any plans today because it's gonna be a me-time and I'd be busy pampering myself"

"Whatever. Just go home and spend your 'me time' alone, hindi naman kita pinilit" I loaded the gun. Inagaw n'ya 'yon sabay unload.

"What happened last night? Grabe ang acting ko I almost considered starting an acting career" sabay kindat.

"I don't wanna talk about it. Keep me distracted" tipid na sagot ko. "Something fishy, I like that" mas lalo pang nang-iinis ang baliw na 'to. "Okay, if you want distraction I'll give you one"

"I LIKE THE CONCEPT" Sabi n'ya habang patango tango, "Maybe put more personal touch on this side and a platform at the middle. We can hire indie bands and other local performers" dagdag pa n'ya.

"Yes, that way makakatulong pa tayo sa mga nagsisimula palang sa music industry at 'yong mga gustong magsimula. Our bar can be their stepping stone, isn't that great?" excited na sabi ko.

We're planning to convert the second floor of our bar to accommodate performers. "You know what, dahil d'yan bigla kong naalala 'yung isang furniture store na binisita ko somewhere in Pampanga. Their designs are unique, and the materials are local. Nagpoprovide sila ng work sa PWDs, and I really like the style. Perfect for what we're planning"

"Yeah, sure. That'd be great, maybe we can contact your interior designer? We met once, right? I like him"

All of a sudden, parang pinagmamasdan nalang n'ya ko. "What?" tanong ko. Pailing iling s'ya, "This is the first time you actually wanna get involved in this bar. Baka kapag nagstart na 'tong renovation bigla ka na naman hindi mahagilap"