You Are The Reason I Still Fight ! fransykes !

6. the truth will piss you off

Oliver's pov

Nothing makes me sadder than my head. Josh can trigger it, anything can trigger it. He's not special, it's not because he said it. Its just because he's right. I'm feminine...

"D-don't do that," Kellins voice comes out shakey making me look at him. His eyes are locked on the rubberband on my wrist that I've been mindlessly pulling back and making it slap my skin.

"Why?" I ask with a bored tone. It's not hurting him. Kellin doesn't care about me. He stays quiet but drops his feet out of bed so they rest on the floor and he faces me.

"That's a form of selfharm... I know we don't get along but if you feel like-"

I get up and leave our room and shut the door normally as I leave. Selfharm is cutting and things that leave marks. A rubberband doesn't classify as selfharm. That's like saying when I dig my nails into my skin is self harm or when I bite the inside of my cheeks or my lip is selfharm. Its not...

And if it was so what? It doesn't matter. It doesn't effect anyone, not even me. Not in a negative way at least. This is just for fun...

I pull up my hood and shove my hands in my baggy pant pockets. All my clothes are 'too big' for me. The clothes protect me. They hide my body. A long sigh leaves my lips. Its later in the day but pretty far from night. I haven't checked the time in a long time but I'm sure it's near 5pm or so.

Its Monday so people are walking to or from classes now. I dont have any classes today, I'm supposed to have music but it's canceled because the teacher had to go to the hospital to remove the baby from her womb. Ew. Yeah a guy infected her and caused her to start growing a parasite-

"That's so mean," I mumble to myself at my thoughts. I don't really like babies, women, or people. As I walk I don't actually have a destination, I'm just going to walk around and then go back and hope Kellin is back to being rude to me.

I need people to hate me because if they dont I become irrelevant and they disappear from my life. Nobody can love me and I'll rather be hated than forgotten.

"I wonder if Remington is at the gym," I mumble to myself. I don't really plan on thinking outloud, it just happens. As I turn a corner around a building to save time something happens that makes me fall backwards. Someone was walking faster than me so their the one who brought me to the ground.

"S-sorry," I stutter putting my hand on their chest to push them up and away. I'm so glad it's a guy because I would be so awkward if I accidentally grab someone's boob. He gets up and into view and I feel nervous to see its josh. He looks... different. Tired?

"You need to watch whe-" he stops and rolls his eyes. "Okay actually I wanted to talk to you. But dont get flattered you are a coward," he say and I get up off the ground.  "How do you learn how to fight like that? I saw that you can actually fight," he says not looking at me.

"I taught myself with books and practice. Why do you care?" I say bitterly.

"I want to learn how to fight," he says and I laugh but theirs no happiness in my voice. Theres no light in my eye yet the sound imitates the sound of happiness or amusement.

"Yeah so you can beat me up? No thanks," I say and start walking but he follows.

"How do I get a membership to the gym? I want to learn," he says not giving up.

"Nobody there teaches fighting except Josh but he is coaching five other people so he wont help you," I say almost forgetting his name is also Josh.

"Thst guy I was talking to says your the best, can you just teach me something?" He says and it's strange to see him so desperate. I look at him annoyed.