You Are The Reason I Still Fight ! fransykes !

17.

Josh's pov

He's sad...

He's sad and I don't know how to fix it... I've made him breakfast and lunch but he didn't eat. He said he feels sick but I know he doesn't have the cold or anything like that. He's upset. I've never seen him eat a real meal and that scares me.

I don't know him.

I don't know what he might be suffering with or from. He could have a eating disorder and I wouldn't know. All day today he's been pretty zombified. He doesn't respond to me half of the time and has feel asleep lots of times on me.

Quite literally. When we were on the couch he sat very close to me and ended up falling asleep against me so I let him lay on my lap.

Right now he's in the bathroom and I'm sitting at my desk. I just finished my horrible homework so now I'm waiting for him to come out. I've never seen him so sad... It's not a pleasant feeling to know he's hurting.

After fifteen minutes pass I'm worried, he's been in there for thirty minutes. He's not taking a shower... I though maybe he was just using the bathroom but after fifteen minutes I stated getting worried. It's time to freak out I think. I get up from my swivel chair and go to the door.

Before knocking I stop and listen. Soft muffled whimpers come from the door making me frown. He's in there crying... Softly I knock on the door and he stops making noises. I imagine he's frozen looking at the door. I bet his tear filled face is facing the door trying to look at me. "W-what?" He asks trying to sound like he's not crying.

"Can I come in?" I ask him hoping I don't sound weird. He's in the bathroom to be alone, I should probably just respect that.

"Wh-y?" He asks as his voice breaks.

"Because I know you're in there crying and its... weird. Can I just come in and try to help you?" I ask nervously. I keep my voice from sounding nervous though. I hear some movement and fabric rustling around and then it goes quiet except a little muffled cry sound.

"F-fine," he says so I open the door and I see him in front of the mirror but facing me. His arms are crossed and his baggy flannel looks mess, like he just throw it on. His hair is messed up like he's been pulling and grabbing it and his face- His face is so beautiful but so miserable.

Under his eyes are red and irritate like he's been wiping his eyes a lot. His face is blotchy red on his cheeks and nose. Tears cover his cheeks and they continue to slide down his beautiful skin. I'm sure his face is really hot to the touch. His eyes are locked on me and his lips are in a light frown.

Oliver's eyebrows are slightly lower than normal and his feet are crossed too. As soon as I look at them he un crosses them in a defensive way. Like he realized he cant run from me if his feet were like that. Only seconds have past since I've opened the door so before I just start staring at him I walk in and close the door.

Theres no reason to close the door, nobody is home. But it still seems like I need to. After the white door is shut I turn to the guy whose been through hell. I wish I could help him. I wish he let me help him. He's accepting a tiny help but he's still got his walls up.

If his vulnerable true self was in a castle theres still the castle walls I need to get through. I got through the gate that lets me on his land but I'm not inside the castle walls.

I walk up to him and he doesn't stop glaring at me through tear filled eyes. He doesn't take a step back when I get about a foot away from him. He just glares at the floor now.

He's so upset now. Upset is the best word I can use because I know he's feeling multiple negative emotions. He's mad and sad and I'm sure theres other emotions I can't read. He might be scared. He might be lonely. I don't know, I can't read minds.