Oliver's pov
His hands rub my back as we hug. I can't stop myself from crying. Today has been hell, my emotions are everywhere and so many bad things are happening right now in my life. The weight of the world is getting harder to hold up.
In Josh's arms I feel better but that doesn't stop me from crying. His body feels nice against mine... It feels safe. I know he's bad for me but everything I do to myself is bad. Even letting him this close is going to backfire.
I can't believe I kissed him. I wasn't thinking, I would have kissed anyone if they were male in that moment because I wanted my mom to see I liked guys. She thinks since I'm a guy I need to date girls. I don't like girls. I'm gay.
"I'm not saying being gay is good or bad but I don't think she should care. I don't care that you're gay. It's just who you are, right?" He says awkwardly.
"You don't care?" I ask surprised. I thought he was completely homophobic.
"Why would I? It doesn't affect me," he says and I pull out of the hug. This is all so much. I'm overwhelmed. I've been overwhelmed.
"Can you take me home? I'm tired..." I say and he nods saying yeah under his breath. I just need sleep.
-
"Are you um.. going to be okay?" He asks as we pull up. I don't know how deep this question is. Am I going to be happy? No. Am I going to kill myself? Nah, not yet. I mean no. I won't.
"Sure," I say getting out.
"Do you want my number in case you want to chat or be driven somewhere?" He asks. I pull out my flip phone and give it to him. I'm not going to text him but he seems worried and I don't like worrying people.
He puts his number in it and then gives it back to me. "Thanks for driving me," I mumble before walking away.
-
Josh's pov
Oliver's bruises are now faded and it's the middle of the week. Things have went back to normal for the most part. We hardly talk and train for hours a day.
But one thing did change...
Me.
Something is wrong with me.
I keep noticing everything Oliver does. My eyes glue to parts of him that I shouldn't be looking at. When he pulls off his hoodie and his shirt rides up my eyes are on his exposed skin.
I've accidentally been following him around more. Instead of staying at the lockers when he goes to get water I follow him and also get water.
"You're distracted," Oliver says sounds annoyed.
"Whatever, I just don't feel like hurting you," I say and he frowns.
"Is joshie getting feelings? Aw how sweet," he says taunting me to get me to fight him. I'm not gay! He laughs seeing me get more tensed and mad. "Good boy, now fight me," he says putting up his fists.
We have been actually fighting now, I don't think he goes as hard as he can. Well I know he's not, I've seen him fight other people. He stays at my skill level as we fight so I actually have a chance.
As we practice fight he tells me things to do in a moking way to make me want to hurt him. And it's working. I use a grappling technique he taught me and we fall onto the ground with him underneath me. "Choke me like you hate me, but you love me don't ya joshie," he says pissing me off.
I don't love him.
I hate him.
He's so annoying and he just makes my mind confused and clouded. Ever since he kissed me he's been ruining my sleep and life. I put him in a guillotine choke and he attempts to get out. I hold him down with my body and soon he's tapping.
I've never made him tap before, he usually always kicks my ask. I release him and he shoves me off of him and scrambles up. "Y-yeah, I think I'm training you to well," he says with a chuckle.
"Thanks," I say and he gets into a fighting stance.
"I'm not going to go easy on you anymore. I want to see what you got without me coaching you through it," he says so I get ready to fight him.
-
He won of course but he said I did really good. He's in the bathroom right now and I'm just practicing kicking.
"Hey, have a minute?" Remington asks so I stop my kicking and face him. He's been training me in the morning but Oliver doesn't know that. I'm not keeping it from him but I haven't told him because he might think I'm overworking myself or something.
He's nice and cares about stuff like that. But he's a bitch. I don't really know what I think of him. A part of me want to hang out with him and get to know him but another part of me hates him because he's changing me. I hate change.
But now I have an outlet for my anger so I don't bully people so I'm getting 'weaker' in some people's eyes. "Yeah what's up?" I ask him and he looks around for a second and gets a little closer to me.
"Has Oli been acting... weird lately? Like, I'm not saying he's... I- i have no proof but I'm worried about him doing drugs. He might not be but I've been noticing things. Maybe you should keep an eye on him and if you think he's on drugs tell me and I'll talk to him," he says nervously.
Drugs?
"Uh, sure but I don't think he is?" I say quietly and he nods.
"I hope you're right, I'm going to go say bye to him and leave. Stay safe," he says and starts leaving.
I don't think... He does have mood swings. He wears jackets even when it's hot. He makes no sense sometimes. He messes with his hair a lot and scratches his wrists a lot...
When he gets out of the bathroom he goes up to me quickly. "I have to go home, drive me? Or should I get uber?" He asks sounding panicked but obviously trying to hide it.
"I'll drive you," I say feeling weird. Is he on drugs? I was convinced not but this strange behavior makes me question whether he is or not. He bolts out not even grabbing his things from his locker.
I follow after him and abandon my things too. He gets in my car and sits on his legs. "Are you okay?" I ask as I get in.
"Just t-take me home," he says putting his face in his hands.
I do as he says but I cant think of any other thing besides what Remington said. This could be a bad trip? Or maybe he craves it? Fuck... Doesn't he want to get into UFC? I've over heard him talking about UFC with other people and he sounds passionate about it.
Oliver fidgets in the seat beside me and starts sweating. I can smell his sweat. When I pull up at the dorms he's out before I even stop the car completely and runs into the building...
That's pretty sus...
Sus? Really josh? You play too much among us.
Are you convinced Oli's on drugs?
Hehheheh josh totally got a whole notch gayer
Sunday, October 25, 2020
Are you ready for the new bmth musicccc??
Okay what sounds better/ what do you want next:
Kellin works in a bakery and Vic comes in daily to say goodmorning and get cookies
I wrote this already, it's called hellion and has a podcast
Kellin is in a universe that when he turns 17 he has to pick 'forget everything for a day' or 'go blind for a day' and when he picks amnesia for a day a very friendly guy talks to him and brightens his day but the next day he cant believe that guy talked to him.
Kellins an alien who came to earth to do some studying
Oliver is a heart broken guy who spends his honeymoon single and in the city of love with his french tour guide
Orrr
Kellin is stuck in a town that forces everyone to be happy and when they aren't they disappear and nobody even notices
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You Are The Reason I Still Fight ! fransykes !
Fanfiction"Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobo...
