Consumed | ATEEZ Park Seonghwa (Revising)

1:2- Dazed

1316 words

I stood in my bathroom drying myself off. It was morning and I felt even worse than yesterday. I could barely recall what had happened but Hongjoong reminded me. He said that I was escorted out of the throne room and into my own. He also said that I ended up crying for hours before falling asleep. I did remember that.

There was a knock on the bathroom door. Four fast, soft taps. "Come in." My voice sounded as if I swallowed down glue and hay. Oddly scratchy and gross.

The door opened, and I could hear the tapping of footsteps from behind me. "Y/n, are you going to meet with him?" Hongjoong spoke softly as if he was trying not to wake the sleeping monster inside me.

"Good morning to you too," I sighed and turned around, my eyes rolling like the heels of my feet against the cold, wet floor. "I asked for my clothes, not for your petulant curiosity."

"Are you okay? You seem to be in one of your moods again."  Hongjoong ignored me, and instead walked up to me and cupped my face with his hands. His cool soft hands made me squint as he felt all over me. "Your face is still burning hot." Is eyebrows knit furiously, the worry in his eyes was almost unsettling.

"I'm fine," I forced a smile, hoping it would ease his nerves. I felt oddly irritable, but I could always find a way to control myself right? "Turn around." I snatched the bundle of clothing from his hands and motioned with my hands.

"Sure," He walked off towards the wall, he leaned his forehead against it. "Y/n?"

"Yeah?" I held up my clothes and examined them, I made a curious expression as I felt the cloth under my fingertips.

"Can I please ask you a question?" He sounded as though he were begging and I found it amusing, and effective.

"Go ahead." I started to step into my pants and then pulled over all the other items that Hongjoong brought me.

"Are you going to meet him?" I glanced at him, only to see his body huddled in the corner of the room. He was smaller than me, like most of the residents of Tribe 1. I'm 5'10", and he's three inches away.

"Someday." I looked down to see a cape before I slipped it on, it was black. The same color as his hair. I started to feel something in my stomach again like someone grabbed the sun and shoved it down into my intestines.

I hunched over, held my stomach, and let my head rest against the countertop. biting my lips and my eyebrows knit together tight, what in the world was wrong with me? Deep breaths. I couldn't think about anything without seeing his face. Then whenever I thought about him, I'd feel tremendous pain. This wasn't what I'd imagined the curse to be like. It seemed to be more of an illness than anything.

"Y/n I'm sorry, but you have to see him."

"What? Why?" I tried not to think of him, I tried not to see his face in the back of my mind. But I couldn't help it, it's just my curse I suppose.  Not only did I see him, I went through every little detail almost involuntarily. I kept leaning on the counter trying to push down the horrible pain without screaming. "It just hurts."

"I know it's hard, but in order to get over the first stage fast you have to just rip off the band-aid." I could hear him sigh, he sounded worried and seemed to make my migraine worse. "I mean, just to get it over with."

"What if I die."

"Why would you say that? That is very unlikely."

"If I feel like this just by looking at him from afar, then how will I feel after actually speaking to him." Just imagining it made my whole body stiffen. I let out a heavy, tense sigh.

"The longer you stay away from him the more pain you'll have to endure. I've heard once before, from another royal, that it's actually quite relieving. That the pain turns to delight, and I know you already knew that" Hongjoong paused. "I'm not sure but I know you'll feel better after officially meeting him."

I didn't respond immediately. Instead, I got off the counter and walked towards Hongjoong. I gently placed my hands on his shoulders and ushered him to face me. He didn't look surprised, actually, he did exactly what I intended to do. Hongjoong wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close.

I didn't know how to describe our relationship. He was like a brother, sister, mother, and father to me. He was my family. Even though we were not related, he had always been there for me. He was old enough to take care of me, yet young enough to want to be around me. He was 4 years older, and before his birth, he was appointed as my caretaker. Sometimes I felt guilty because he was never able to live a normal life because of me. Just because I existed, and some of the elder royals thought he should raise the next one. But he would tell me he would rather be with me than anywhere else. So I chose to believe him and cling to my only source of affection. I was eternally grateful to him, I was lucky to have been able to share my life with such an amazing person.

"Hongjoong?"

"Yes?" I could feel the space between us get warmer.

"I'm scared." Hongjoong backed away from me, just a little, so he could see my face better. I was visibly ashamed that there was a river of tears flowing down my steaming-hot face. He carefully wiped my tears and placed a small kiss on my cheek.

"There's nothing I can do but be here for you, and that's just what I'll do." Hongjoong closed in again, but his grip on my waist was even tighter than before. "I'll be here for you until the day I die, and long after that as well." For no known reason, I began sobbing. Maybe it was because of the lack of parental love I've longed for my whole life, or maybe it was because of that man. Maybe it was for other reasons, like the pressure that comes with being such an influential leader. Or maybe it really was for no reason at all, maybe even all of those things.

I let my body rest in his embrace, and my head lowered down to his shoulder. I stayed there like that for a while, pushing out all of the emotions that had been building up. I felt an occasional pat on the back or a caress with his thumb. These little things he always did would fill my heart with love and seemed to remedy any previous pain I had ever suffered.

Then I went silent. I stood there with him, just appreciating the care and effort he put into making me feel better. It made me want to repay him, but he always would tell me never to feel indebted to him because that's my tendency. We had established rules that made everything so comfortable and safe, he really was extraordinary. "How do you feel?" Hongjoong asked, I felt swollen and numb.

"I don't know," I looked down at his chest and moved my arm so I could wipe my tears. My face was pink, eyelashes stuck together and wet. "But you made me feel better, thank you."

Hongjoong nodded and let me go, he crossed his arms and looked directly into my eyes. "Then are you ready?"

"Ready for what?" My voice was quiet and raspy still, and I sniffed a few times.

"To meet your partner."

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I really want a damn cat bro. Sorry, my chapters are short.