Lover|| h.s (Discontinued)

|53. Trapped|

Aliyah

Sometimes, I ponder all those times I chose my heart over my mind. I always had a thing for fairytale like love. The ones that tell people to "follow your heart!"  Even though my brain reads everything so perfectly well, my vulnerability and emotions still crashed, blinding me from reality.

I rocked back and forth like a fearful child while staring at the blank walls. My brain couldn't stop telling me how stupid of a person I am. A true idiot to let myself get wrapped up in a man so dangerous, so quick, and not even think twice about anything else but him.

My knees were hugged tightly to my chest as I focused on my irregular breathing, hoping and praying it would return back to normal before my lungs gave out under exhaustion. A simple task like breathing is usually naturally easy, but challenging with four walls enclosed around me, and not a single window on any of them. I felt no different from a caged animal.

I didn't want to believe that I was in his home, or what I had witnessed before shock knocked me cold is real. Hell, I barely even wanted his name to cross my lips or mind. I couldn't shake the nauseating metallic scent that coated my nostrils. The image had been carved into my mind and replayed like a broken record.

My stomach began to flip again as vomit threatened to spew. There wasn't a bathroom or trash can insight. Just a bed, nightstand, and dresser. The door with a missing handle laughed in my face, taunting me in a way because I had no escape. Only adding to my fretful breathing.

Even though I told myself I wasn't in Harry's home, the faint smell of him still lingered. It followed me every where I went when I was free, and damn near suffocated me while held hostage.

As I sat crying to myself in defeat I heard a lock click. My neck snapped up as the door slowly began to crack open. In stepped the man I now despised, with eyes just as sad as mine.

Usually after one of our many arguments there would be a following silence. It'd drown us until we couldn't take it any longer and one of us would finally speak.

But I was sick of the silence.

I wanted him to hear, see, and most importantly feel the pain he's done nothing but cause me since the day I met him. Even times we were happy just felt like a dream.

Because I always had a feeling they were too good to be true.

"You fucking bastard!" I screamed as I jumped up from the bed.

My first thought was to send my balled up fists into his sturdy chest. Harry seemed unfazed by the first blow, so I mustered even more of my anger and tried again.

"All. You do. Is fucking. Lie!" I shrieked again, hitting him between each pause as tears streamed down my face.

"L-ove .." his raspy voice croaked as he tried to grip my wrist, emerald eyes glossed over with pain while he looked down on me with a hurt expression.

Luckily my anger blocked out the weakening stare, and I moved quick enough to snatch my fist away, creating some distance between us as I hugged myself in disgust.

"Don't call me that," I seethed, shaking my head while wiping a few stray tears.

"I-I'm-"