**One week later**
Business was as usual and, with the Christmas rush, most people checked out of the hotel to spend time at home with families.
On the evening of the 25th, Cara, Rose, Mr Paisley, Tommy, Margaret and all of the other workers gathered in the staff room, letting the crackle of the fire spread a warm glow all around.
For the later years of my life, I didn't celebrate Christmas.
Christmas was supposed to be festive and merry, but the thought of festivity encouraged dad to drink more. I'd shiver in fear at the thought of him coming home.
His trial in court was to go on in January, when I'd give my statement and it would determine how long his sentence would be.
Niall reassured me that he'd find good solicitors, but I didn't want to feel like I owed him anymore than I deserved.
My heart fluttered in my chest as my mind flickered to Niall and the boys.
How were they all celebrating Christmas?
Returning my thoughts back to my friends, I laughed as Rose poured mulled wine down her front accidentally.
Cara grabbed my hand and, together, we danced round the main room.
I had no idea how to dance, but swaying in time to the music was a freeing and liberating feeling.
Soon everyone was dancing, and I got a sudden feeling of contentment. This is what I'd been missing out on each year in December; the perfect atmosphere, lit by a burning fire against a red and brown fireplace.
A soft, cream rug beneath my feet partially covering the laminate floor, where some guests passed by, watching on in amusement.
Despite its four star hotel standards, it was full of life, warm, homely. I could see why it was such a popular hotel. Its staff were happy and their laughter infectious - it was a deeply humbling feeling, knowing I worked alongside them.
I watched with content on my face as Margaret and her husband smiled at each other; their wrinkly faces were ruddy, and their eyes sparkled, their hair silver.
After we all sat back down again, we set our presents in the middle; I'd done a big Christmas shop the weekend after Niall left to buy everyone a present.
The biggest struggle was buying Niall something.
What could I buy the boy who had everything?
I'd let my mind wander for a while, thinking of what to get him, when I decided what to buy.
Nothing expensive; he wouldn't want me spending more than I could afford on him.
I decided on some T-shirts, things to put around his tour bus, and then got a small photo album and filled it with Polaroids of me and the girls.
Inside, there were photos of Niall at the concert where he asked me to be his girlfriend, and Cara had wisely taken some photos.
Everytime I thought about him, my heart fluttered and stopped in a continuous cycle.
I realised I was investing a lot, emotionally, by being his girlfriend. I was always one to stay out of the public eye, and dating Niall would challenge me. But I was prepared to do it for him, only him.
I was still shocked that I was dating him, this god, this Adonis.
I tried to tell myself that I must be special for him to say he loved me, but I was still filled with so much self doubt it scared me.
I wanted to believe him.
On the back page of the album I wrote;
'Filled with pictures of the girls and I, I wanted to give you something special,
Merry Christmas 2012, Niall. I love you.
Thank you for being everything I want you to be. x
Love from, Olivia x'
I was head over heels with him by now, but I loved having someone else to live for.
Inside I'd attached a quote about love. It read:
No matter what I lose, no matter what I have, none of it matters because I have you.
**
Around me, I had about eight presents.
I started with Margaret's, ripping the red wrapping paper open in anticipation.
Inside was one of those Christmassy jumpers grandmas would knit their grandchildren every year. Secretly, I loved it.
I pulled it over my head immediately, feeling comforted by its warmth and soft material.
She laughed at my enthusiasm and I unwrapped the rest of my presents; clothes vouchers, scarves, gloves, hats, shoes. I truly did feel loved, expensively cherished.
It was a lovely feeling, especially seeing how much thought had gone into my presents.
Cara and Rose had pooled their money together to get me a lovely Pandora bracelet and a set of heavenly scented body lotions and gels from the Body Shop.
"Thank you!" I gasped, hugging them both and sliding the beautiful charm bracelet on my slender wrist. It tinkled magically,
I'd bought Rose this Chloe perfume she'd been after, along with some indie CDs. She was apparently delving into Zayn's music collection and have developed an eclectic music taste.
Cara got a collection of DVDs and a spa voucher.
I made her a card, too. Attached was a picture of the two of us the first time I opened up to her. I'd written her a heartfelt message.
'Dear Cara,
I want to thank you for being my friend. Not only that, but my first ever best friend.
You've given me more than I ever believed I could deserve, and I don't know what to give you except from my trust,
You have a big heart, and trust me when I say I will defend you with my life,
Love you,
Olivia. x'
I was often amazed at how far I'd come.
Going from being scared of being touched, to falling in love.
From being afraid of my own mind to confronting my demons.
From hating to loving.
From learning to growing.
**
As I curled up in bed, Cara lying next to me and Rose on the other bed, I felt my phone buzz.
From: Niall
