Rager!

Chapter 3

I was staring out the window of Dean's car,
He said" Feeling any better, Jonathan?"
I said" Yeah, if you'd let me out of the cuffs."
Sam said" You tried to claw off your skin, Jonathan. We had to."
I grumbled" You would too if you felt like you were on fire."
" It'll get better, you just have to give it some time."
Dean said" We'll let you out of the cuffs at the next gas station."
I said" When's that?"
" 50 miles."
" Great..." 

Lucifer said" Oh, look at my little demon!" He caressed the side of my face and held my waist," What did you do?" He wiped the blood from my lips, I smirked," Bazzoth?!"
I said" I killed half the army."
" And why is that?"
" Because they were making fun of me, calling me puny."
" But you are puny, my precious little flower." He gripped my hair and pulled it back, letting my neck be fully exposed. He bit my neck, I cried out in pain, gripping at his sides, my eyes turned black. I breathed heavily, then he let go, licking the blood from my skin." This will happen again, if you continue what you're doing."
" Screw. You." His eyes turned red, I whimpered," I'm sorry, I'm sorry, sir, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry... Sir, I'm sorry." He bit down on the other side, I screamed in pain.

I screamed, clawing at my neck, I heard someone scream my name... someone shook my shoulders, I gasped, opening my eyes.
Sam said" Jonathan!" He held down my hands, I nodded my head, he let go of my wrists, I sniffled. I flinched,
I said" Can we pull over?" Dean nodded, pulling over, I got out, I whimpered and slid down the side of the car. I tried to move my hands but they were still cuffed, Sam and Dean were standing in front of me.
Dean said" Jonathan?" I just held up my arms, he unlocked the cuffs, my arms wrapped around my legs. He sighed," Jonathan?"
" I-I... I-I was his pet."
" Who's pet?"
" Lucifer's! I was his pet, I was his pet... his toy. He used to bite me, claim me... it hurt so much, I'd scream in pain... and he'd like it. What if he knows I'm here? What if he's the one who put a bounty on my head? What if he takes me back..."
" Hey, hey, hey." I felt Dean pull my face up, and I looked at him," We're not gonna let any demon get you, okay?"
" I deserve it... I killed millions of demons..."
" Well, we all got issues. That doesn't mean you deserve to be tortured for eternity." I sniffled and rubbed my eyes,
" I deserve all the pain." My eyes turned black," And you will never be able to tell me otherwise. Just let them find me."
" Think that'd work?"
" Kinda." He smirked, Sam scoffed and looked at Dean,
" You gonna not claw yourself?"
" Don't know." He raised his eyebrow, I shrugged,
" Fine, no cuffs for now. Get in the car."
" Just leave me here."
" Get in the car, Jonathan." I let my eyes go back to normal,
" No. They'll come for me, you know it, and I don't want anyone else getting hurt because of me."
" All right, you know, I could get the demon handcuffs..."
" Kinky." Sam chuckled, Dean smirked and lifted me up, I yelped," Dean, put me down!" He threw me into the backseat, I groaned and sat up, they got into the car. And locked the doors, I groaned," Dean, let me out! Sam, come on!"
Sam said" Oh, I'm not getting in between this. You're on your own, both of you."
Dean said" I don't need your help. He's a demon, if I get pissed off, I'll just handcuff him to something."
" Unhealthy."
I said" You can't just hand..." Dean raised his eyebrow, I huffed, then pouted looking out the window.
——
We were in this motel room, I was pacing,
Sam said" Why are you pacing, Jonathan?"
I said" Anxiety is severely overwhelming and I'm hysterically anxious."
Dean said" Can we drug him yet?" Sam shook his head," Well, he's getting on my nerves with all the pacing." I stopped and flopped down onto the floor,
" I'm sorry."

" I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Lucifer snickered and held my chin tightly, staring at me.
He said" You're not supposed to be sorry, Bazzoth! You're supposed to endure and enjoy the pain."
" I'm sorry!" He slammed me against the wall, I screamed out, I whimpered and tears clouded my vision.
" Stop saying your sorry or you'll regret it." I whimpered, he sliced at my chest again, I cried out, he growled,
I whimpered" I'm sorry... No! No! I don't mean..." He slammed me into the wall and started beating me-

I gasped, opening my eyes, I stared at the ceiling,
I heard Sam say" Jonathan? Jonathan!"
I mumbled" Huh?"
" Did you hear me?"
" No..."
" I asked if you were hungry." I nodded my head," You okay?" I nodded again," Are you sure because you were pretty freaked out and you're digging your nails into the palms of your hands." I looked down and released my grip, I whimpered, sniffling." Don't worry, I won't tell Dean." He chuckled, I stared up, not speaking." Hey, Are you sure you're okay?"
" No." He got up from the table and sat on the bed, which was in front of me.
" Dean went to get food, so it's just you and me."
" Why was I just a pet?"
" I don't know, but I'm sure all the memories will piece together soon."
" How soon?"
" Jonathan, it's only been a week, you gotta give it more time."
" But I want to know everything, what if I'm a serial killer, what if I-"
" A serial killer, seriously?"
" It's a plausible occupation. I mean, I am a demon."
" Not like any of the demons I've met. You're actually nice without seething suspicion."
" Well, maybe because of my memory loss... like why can't I remember... did I do something? Did someone else? A demon? A witch? An angel?"
" You know about witches?"
" I know a lot, I just don't remember where the information came from and that's more terrifying than anything and..."
" You need to calm down." I breathed out slowly,
" You know, I'm technically walking around in a corpse. I'm probably centuries old..."
" I don't think your mind is."
" Can I die?"
" Why do you ask?" I stayed silent, probably giving him the answer anyways," Yeah, I don't trust you enough to know you won't attempt suicide, so I'm not telling you anything."
" What would happen if I died?"
" I don't know, Jonathan. That's even if you can."
" Great." I flopped my head back, whimpering," I'm such a failure." I turned onto my side and curled up, tucking my face between my body. I closed my eyes,
" Dean'll be back soon, okay? I'm gonna continue researching, so I'm just right there if you need me." I stayed still, he walked back to the table and continued what he was doing.

Dean came in,
He said" What happened?"
Sam said" I think he remembered something else, he's been there for an hour."
" Wow, did you talk to him?"
" Yeah, he's pretty spaced out though, he thinks he's a failure."
" What else?"
" Oh, and I think he's borderline suicidal, so we better watch out for that."
" Okay. Hey, Jonathan, got some grub, you hungry?" I sluggishly got up, I sat on the bed, he handed me a burger and fry, I began eating, I love eating, it's amazing." Got an appetite, at least, that's a good thing, Jonathan." I nodded my head, then Castiel showed up,
He said" Hello."
" Hey, Cas." Castiel looked at me, eyes up and down,
" How are you feeling, Jonathan?" I looked down, and took a giant bite of the burger.
" He's doing better, and dude, we talked about this, stop taking giant bites." I swallowed, Sam and I looked at each other then to him.
I said" You take bigger bites than me!"
" Shut up." I took another bite,
Castiel said" How are the memories?" I let out a shaky breathe, looking down,
" Uh, we don't talk about those. He avoids questions, he tells us what he saw and that's that, he may have a breakdown here and there."
I said" They're terrifying, horrendous, scary... scarier than hell, actually. It's like I'm losing my mind and taking acid at the same time."
" Have you ever even taken acid?"
" I'm..." I couldn't remember but then again... my memory is very far from fixed," Not sure." Dean looked at me like I'd gone crazy.
" That's... nope, nope, not pushing that one."
Castiel said" Soon, you'll be able to remember everything and be able to piece together things." I nodded my head, still not sure if that was a good or bad thing.