Live Through This/ Liam Gallagher

CHAPTER FIFTY TWO

Graham's house was much neater and organized than anyone else's I'd visited, and for once I could tell he did it himself and wasn't paying someone to do it for him. Cough Cough Liam. Surprisingly enough, I'd only been here maybe two time in my whole life.

Immediately, I go to the telephone and decide to ring Matt, he deserved to know I was alive at the slightest. So, I called Jude's home phone. As Matt's whatever still hadn't become memorized.

"Hello? Who is this?" Jude answers, a slight snap in his voice

"Hey, it's Avery. Is Matt there?" I ask

"Oh thank god you're alive. No one knew where you went. By the way, where are you?" He asks

"Graham Coxon's house. Don't tell Noel. Feel free to tell Matt though."

"Why not Noel? Does he have some sort of issue with this Graham?"

Did he not know about all the fucking Blur and Oasis drama? If not, I couldn't explain it seeing as Graham was in the same room and I didn't want to make him uncomfortable, having just heard about his issues with Blur.

"Look, just ask Matt. I'm sure he could tell you all about it." I say quickly

"When are you coming back? Noel's doing another party tonight."

"I'll be back when that happens. Whenever that is."

"Probably around 9:00. Us big shots have the house to ourselves early tonight." Jude snickers and then says "speaking of Matt, the devil seems to just come downstairs, wanna say hello?"

I couldn't exactly say no.

So I grimace, and say "Of course I do." Trying the absolute best to not cringe.

"Hey, you kinda disappeared last night, where'd you go? Wanted to dance with you." Matt teases, as he slides onto the phone.

"Old friend popped up, ended up going home with him and messing around on a few of his guitars." I say, trying to shrug it off.

"Really? Sounds fun. Look, I do miss you though. Doesn't feel the same without you here."

Now I felt absolutely guilty, as the only thing running through my head was what Liam had said. How I'd always come running back to him, and him to me. How we were made for one another. As I couldn't see myself permanently with Matt, something I could see more clearly now.

Which made this phone call a billion times worse.

"That's sweet. I'll try and stop by earlier." I say before hanging up desperately, there was anxiety in my voice as I turned to look at Graham, who had a frown on his face.

"What a mess." He says, plopping down on his sofa.

"Tell me about it." I groan, taking the seat beside him, and looking around.

His living room was nice, comforting as well, plus the sofa was big and well, extremely soft. Way less stuffy than what I'd seen when I was at Jude or Noel's house.

"We need to clear our heads. Normally I'd suggest alcohol, but I feel like that would only fuel the fire." Graham comments, staring around the room blankly.

"You've got a studio space right?"

He nods. "Newest technology and everything, kinda better than the one Damon's using for his shit right now." This seems to make him perk up.

"How many guitars?"

"Avery. There's plenty."

"You wanna go fuck around in there?" I ask, standing up, kinda thrilled by the idea of playing with Graham's studio set up.

He nods, jumping up as well and beginning to lead the way towards what I assumed was his set up. It was downstairs and in the basement, with beautiful paneling and everything.

"Oh my god. How much did it cost to get this all done?" I ask, curious, thinking about how nice it would be for my own home.

"Couldn't tell you in American money, but I'll have someone figure it out for you later." He shrugs, before ushering me over to part of his guitar collection. There were racks upon racks of guitars, although, the ones I assumed he liked most, were the ones on the wall.

Those were mainly beat up, yet nicely made and produced telecasters. I'd figured out that Graham was a sucker for those a long time ago.

Even buying him a custom one for his birthday a few years back, and surprise, there it was on the wall.

"Do you use it?" I ask, pointing towards it.

"Of course. It goes on tour and everything. The ones up here, I maintain the most. The ones on the bottom, that's if Damon wants us impersonating your American Grunge thing."

"What does that even mean? You could properly mimic the tone on any of those guitars."  I say, confused.

"I meant smashing them. You know, like you've done."

I laugh, thinking about Kim Gordon's old nickname for me. Aw. That made me sad, we hadn't spoken in a bit. I definitely needed to call and see how she was doing.

I felt bad, I'd gotten distanced from a lot of the people I'd been really close to at one time.

It seemed like a lot of musicians had that occurring with themselves too. After all, it was going to be a new decade soon. 2000 would be among us shortly.

To think, the 90's were almost over.

It would be settled into history. Legacies were being set in stone now. Seriously, they were.

I couldn't help but wonder, what would the impact of all of this be on the future? Would kids still look up to the same rock stars I had growing up, or would they turn to me and so many other people?

What would be the new definitive sound? Grunge was dying, for sure, and now it seemed that Britpop was too.

Things were changing, far too quickly than anyone would ever want to admit.

It was the end of an era, truly.

My hand glides over one of the guitars on the bottom racks, it was a silver bullet mustang, in almost perfect condition. Picking it up, I head over towards the other side of the room, right outside the recording room.

Looking through the stacks and bins of gear, while Graham went and picked out one of his own guitars.

"You got anything you've been working on?" I ask

He shakes his head and says "I figured we were just jamming, but if you want to try something new out. I'm down."

I nod my head and say "I've got a couple ideas, if you grab a pen and notebook, maybe we could get a few demos in?"

A faint smile creeps up Graham's face, a genuine one, he seemed happier with the environment in his own home. He shoots me a thumbs up and says "Definitely."

As he goes to get what I'd asked for, I could've sworn I heard him mutter something about being included for once.

Were his contributions to Blur not as big as I thought? To be honest, I had no idea. I liked their music, had seen them live and all, but I'd never watched their writing or recording sessions, and maybe Graham felt excluded.

I really didn't know. It was all Gray area to me.

But hey, if this was making him happy, I was glad to do it.