Potions & Charms

Flying

"Did you know? That he would leave?"

It was evening and Kirstie and Scott were sitting on a log in front of the lake, far away from the castle.

Scott didn't know how he had made it through the day, through eight hours of teaching and lunch, but after feeling numb the whole time he finally allowed himself to think of Avi and possible reasons why he had left so quickly and without telling anyone.

Kirstie shook her head. She was leaning on her knees, hands in her hair and her head tilted towards the floor. "No. Maybe it was too spontaneous. He must've made the decision to leave when I was asleep, otherwise I would've noticed."

She looked up and bit her lip. "Scott, I am so sorry. You don't deserve this."

"No, I don't. And I thought he would stay. I thought that maybe he would need a few days or weeks, but then he would crawl back into my arms and we would talk about the most disgusting thing we have ever eaten or something. Just- anything. And now he's gone. Like that stupid fish on Slughorns desk he kept telling us about. Poof."

Kirstie couldn't help but smile. "Yeah, I remember that story. Scott, do you think he will come back? At some point?"

"I hope so, but- he probably won't. He left his home. Avi doesn't have a place to stay during the holidays, he's either in the castle or outside to forage. And now that he left the only home he has without even allowing himself to think for a moment or two he probably isn't planning on returning."

"Do you miss him?"

"So much."

Kirstie scooted closer and leaned her head against Scott's shoulder.

"But I'm not angry. I should've known. He made progress, yes, but- he's still Avi. And how many people end up with their first love anyway?"

"Not many.."

"And I still have you guys. I'm not alone, but he is. That makes everything so much worse. If I were to look for him I wouldn't know where to start. Maybe he's in Norway. He can apparate. And if he's in Norway he'll be okay for now."

The baritone took a deep breath and looked at the lake in front of them, watched as the sun creeped closer towards the water. "I just miss him."

"I think he misses you too, Scotty. He just doesn't understand what's happening. And once he has some time and space to sort his thoughts he will let you know."

"Are you sure?"

Kirstie shrugged. "No. That's just what I'm hoping for. Until then we'll make the best out of it, okay?" She wrapped her arms around her friend and squeezes him. "Should we steal some goodies from the kitchen?"

The snow melted and soon the previously muddy grass was covered in snowdrops and daffodils. Trees turned from unappealing browns and grays to greens and when summer came the students left the castle and returned home.

Kirstie, Mitch and Scott were sitting in the Great Hall on the Gryffindor table and ate dinner together before Mitch would move back to London for the summer while Kirstie had planned on spending some time in Iceland. Scott would return to Norway.

"But you guys have to come and visit me!" Kirstie urged again and cut a piece of chicken in half. "Please. Or at least write. You never reply."

"Because you send like four texts a day, Kirst" Mitch mumbled and finished his steak. "I'll call you at some point."

"Scott?"

"Mhm, me too. Don't have plans anyway, I might come over."

Scott was healing. The weeks after Avi had disappeared had been hard, he couldn't argue about that, but he had realized that not seeing him at all, not knowing what he was up to, not knowing what was on his mind was better than seeing him every day without being allowed to be near him.

Sure, he had cried and he had been angry, and disappointed, but then these feelings settled and allowed him to enjoy his life again. Scott knew that he still loved Avi. And he knew that he would never stop loving him, but he had realized that he hadn't been the right person to fix him. He was neither trained nor experienced when it came to trauma and- he hadn't been the right person.

Sometimes Scott thought of Avi. Thought about what the bearded man was doing, where he was, if he was happy. But then he had allowed himself to let go. If he mattered to Avi the bearded man wouldn't forget about him and maybe, although the chances were slim, they would see each other again at some point in life.

He had sent letters too, once a week, but after just five his owl had returned with the one still in its beak and Scott knew that he had to stop.

Instead of going back to Norway right after dinner Scott spent another hour in the castle to pack his things, and while he was folding his pants a small vial found it's way into his hands.

Two hours later he was on a plane to Buenos Aires with a backpack between his legs and the empty vial of Felix Felicis stuffed into the pocket of his jacket.

"I'm on my way to Buenos Aires" he had texted Kirstie before the departure. "Might have to postpone the Iceland trip."

"Buenos Aires??"

"Just felt like the right thing to do. The right place to be."