𝗜𝗻𝗱𝗼𝗼𝗿 𝗴𝗶𝗿𝗹 || 𝖪𝖳𝖧 ✔

; chapter 5

[Self harm / blood / anxiety ⚠️]

[16+]

+ ° . * ♡ Y/N's POV ♡ * . ° +

3 months passed. That's mean Taehyung and I have been friend for three months, or more likely, best friend. We getting closer and closer to each other lately.

Taehyung was such a good best friend. He was there for me whenever I need him, even he still didn't know about another side of my problem for having suicide disorder.

He never missed to come to my house everyday and bought me the ice chocolate milkshake and chocolate cupcakes which was our favorite drink and food.

I just love how he love to tease me and make me happy everyday but it's been three days since Taehyung last meet me. He told me he has football training he's register in at highschool so I obviously understand him. He deserve more rest to gain his energy for football training.

We've been more than close to each other. We even sneak out just to sleep in each other bedroom's somehow. What we doing this whole month was going back and forth each other's bedroom secretly.

So far, our parents still didn't find out my secret friendship with Taehyung. We have hide it really well from our parents and that was such a relief.

Unfortunately, even how far my life has changed after Taehyung appeared into my life, my suicide disorder and my anxiety keep consuming me, especially when my parents starting to fight again last night, after a month living in peaceful from their arguments.

Yeah... They fighting again...

It's tough to ease my suicide disorder out of my life. It's like they were part of my life or one kind of my habit. This disorder seriously haunting me.

Even Taehyung has asked me why I keep wearing hoodie/sweater everyday with suspicious look in his face. I know he curious about it while I keep giving him a nonsense excuse.

It's Saturday at night. Normally people will hang out with their friend or their partner in these day but not me. I'm trapping in this house. Always.

I sitting on the bed, pushing my sleeve up. Looking at the fresh cut I made this morning and just now. It just two cut but it already look worse and deeper than usual. The blood from the cut I made just now slowly streaming down to under my hand, dripping down to the floor drop by drop.

I haven't made one for along time after the last time I did on my neck but I instantly does it again after finding out my parents fighting again. The anxiety get overwhelmed in me.

I know it's strange to hurting yourself when the anxiety and pressure consuming you but that's the only thing that you could do to release all the pressure you had. Somehow, pain are feels good too and I feel pain look beautiful on me. Maybe I deserve to living such a life like this.

The tear slowly gathering in my eyes, thinking how I should handle this disorder, about my parents and my future.

I don't see any sign that I'm gonna have a bright future, unless the dark one.

I let out a big sigh, holding back my tear.

Before I could do something, my window getting knocked.

I guess it's Taehyung.

I stand up and heading my way to the window. My smile appear from nowhere to see his joyful presence after three days we haven't meet each other. With an instant, I literally forgot about the suicide thought and my anxiety. Taehyung totally make my whole feel pure and calm just by seeing his presence right in front of me.