I've been procrastinating... I'm sorry...
***
You woke up. You didn't know how long you were out.
Wirt was giving you a piggy back ride. There was a man whistling on a small stage, a band playing behind him. It was quite eerie. Everyone was dressed like there were from two hundred years ago.
A door was behind you, still open. Birdy flew in, with Greg on her tail.
You told Wirt that you were awake. He gently set you down, his hands lingered on your hips for a bit, then the quartet sat at a nearby table.
Greg left to get food (thank god).
A lady with a sqeaky voice who looked and sounded scarily like Betty boop, came up to the table.
"Well, hey, there peach pot. Whatcha doin' around- hey... what's that bird yah got there?" She interrupted herself.
"It's a-" Wirt was cut off by...
"I am Beatrice! These three sweet kids and I a bit lost in the- AH!" A broom smacked her.
"No birds allowed in my tavern!" Lady stated
"No birds allowed in your-"
"It's a bad omen when a bluebird enters through your door. It's bad luck!" She squealed.
"Lady, bluebirds are good luck! We bring joy and happiness to the- AH!!" Beatrice was smacked again.
"Good luck, bad luck... I don't need any of it!"
"Curse you lady! Curse you! You'll die some day and I'll laugh!! Laugh!!" She then cackled, Wirt was hit by the dammed broom, and birdy leaves out.
"Who are you anyway, bringin bad luck to my tavern?" The lady asked.
"I'm Wirt, this is Y/N, and he's Greg." Wirt gestured to each of us.
Greg pointed at a horse.
"That's great, but who ARE you?"
"I'm Wirt. I'm- I'm just a-a guy, I-I guess... Um, w-what do you mean?"
"Well he's the butcher"
"I'm the butcher" a guy built like a truck said, holding up a knife.
"The baker"
"Yeah!" A tiny guy said.
"The midwife"
She coughed up a fish.
"The master and apprentice"
A kid was tugged closer to an adult by a rope, which you found creepy.
"The tailor"
A said guy wimpered.
"And I'm the tavern keeper. Who are you!"
"I'm hungry!" Greg declared.
"I'm gay and tired." You offered.
"I-I-I don't know... I don't really like labels... I'm just sort of, like, myself, you know?" He stuttered. You nodded.
"And that's perfectly fine, Wirt. You said.
"Maybe he's simple." The master offered.
"YOU CALLIN MY FRIEND A BASIC BITCH!?" You declared. "I WILL FIGHT YOU!! Even though there's nothing wrong with basic bitches, Wirt is just not one." You stood up but was pulled back down by Wirt.
***
I'm really fucking tired. I hope y'all had a wonderful holiday, whichever one(s) you fabulous folk celebrate!
YOU ARE READING
Loveliest Lies Of All (Wirt X Male! Reader)
Science Fiction*this book is hella gay, and could get dark* *also this is kind of an AU where I do whatever the hell I want, regardless of cannon* The unknown is purgatory for lost souls. A vast bubble filled with endless forests. A place for those who died young...
