𝐀𝐑𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐕𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐎𝐖𝐍 𝐅𝐈𝐂𝐒 | 𝐊- 𝐏𝐎𝐏

𝖼𝗁𝖺𝗉𝗍𝖾𝗋 𝖾𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍𝗒

❉ 139 Dreams (Jaemin Na) Anxiety
TheRainRogue
Summary:
You often wonder how you got this way, plagued by an unseen force that plots to make your life as difficult as possible. Its name was Anxiety, and you’ve been dealing with it for as long as you could remember. It was far more than just feeling anxious every now and then. You rarely stopped feeling anxious, jumpy and scared of everything. As you grew older and started taking medication, your panic attacks started to become few and far between, but the anxiety, the fear still lingered, hovering over you like an umbrella. Despite this, you did the best you could to live a normal life.

Notes:
Possible trigger warning for anxiety disorders.

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ: *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: . ☁

You often wonder how you got this way, plagued by an unseen force that plots to make your life as difficult as possible. Its name was Anxiety, and you’ve been dealing with it for as long as you could remember. It was far more than just feeling anxious every now and then. You rarely stopped feeling anxious, jumpy and scared of everything. As you grew older and started taking medication, your panic attacks started to become few and far between, but the anxiety, the fear still lingered, hovering over you like an umbrella. Despite this, you did the best you could to live a normal life.

You kept your head down and powered through the waves of anxiety, always putting on a bright smile so those around you didn’t know what was wrong. It always worked, and by the time you were legal, you had mastered the smile so perfectly, no one could see through it. For years, that’s how it was, but then you met a boy that sought to destroy all of your hard work. He could see through the mask to who you really were, and he could read you like a book. One look and he knew if you were struggling to hold back your fear. He never said anything, but the little things he did made it obvious that he knew.

Whenever you would feel the anxiety creeping up on you, he would be stuck to your side like glue, talking in soft tones and offering to help you with your work. It didn’t matter that he was the idol and it was your job to take care of him. Despite being several years younger, Jaemin was intuitive and mature beyond his years. Being near him made you feel safe and secure, but it also made you uncomfortable.

Your whole life has been spent fighting this battle alone, and now someone was working their way onto your side of the field, fighting alongside you and supporting you. It was different, and you didn’t like change. Despite how safe he felt, you forced yourself to keep your distance. He was an idol, after all, and you were just working for his manager.

The anxiety never missed the chance to whisper in your ear late at night about how quickly NCT was growing in popularity. ‘Soon,’ it would cackle. ‘Soon he’ll be so popular, you won’t even be a memory to him.’

And deep down, you knew it was right. You forced yourself to avoid him as much as possible, even in the moments of weakness when you longed for his comforting touch and soft words letting you know you would make it through. You had to be strong, you couldn’t bring him down with you.

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ: *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: . ☁

“Y/N,” Dream’s manager approached you as soon as you entered the building. “I have something personal to take care of. You’re in charge of the boys today. Make sure they keep practicing, feed them, and then return them to the dorm. Understand?”

Although he asked if you understood, he gave you no chance to respond as he brushed past you and out the door. It wasn’t the first time he had thrown the boys onto you so he could have time to himself, but you dreaded it every time.