Hopelessly Falling [book 2]

Chapter Fifty-One

LI
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Crystal's POV ***

"You're gonna be the hottest damn criminal this court has ever seen,"I told him, trying to take his mind off of everything as I helped cover up the bruises on his face and neck with my makeup.

Since Layla's makeup was a little too tan for Ashton, I brought him back to my place to use mine instead. I sat up on my bathroom counter and had him stand in front of me in between my legs as I worked. "Let's hope the jury is made up of young girls and gay guys," I joked.

"There isn't going to be a jury," he responded.

"Well then lets hope the judge has an exquisite taste in men," I replied with a small smile

He tried to chuckle, but I could hear the sadness in it as I looked back up to meet his gaze. His eyes had turned red and glassy. I frowned up at him and asked him with my eyes what was wrong. He still tried to act as though he was fine, but I put down my brush and looked back up at him.

"Are you okay?" I knew he wasn't, but I still asked anyway. To my utter surprise, he actually admitted it and shook his head 'no'. I put down the makeup and rested my hands on his chest as I waited for him to continue.

"I, um," he paused to collect himself for a moment. "I never told you this, but uh, when I found my mom..." he paused again, this time looking down. I saw his brows draw together slightly as he held back the sudden tears that had began to form, and I quickly hopped off the counter and brought him over to the bed, sitting us down in the side of it. I held one of his hands in mine as he kept looking down.

"She knew it was gonna be me who found her," he continued, his voice strained. "She left a note next to the pill bottle-" his voice broke as he tried to go on, a few tears falling from his eyes now as it became near impossible for him not to scrunch his features and give in to the remaining despair and vivid memories. His hand shook ever so slightly in mine as I held it firmly. He continued.

"It said," he began, wiping his few tears with his other hand even as another one fell. "It said, 'I'm sorry I left you. I love you forever. Never leave him, and if you find her, never let her go'." He finished, finally putting his face in his hands and giving in to his emotions. My heart was frozen in my chest as I tried to comfort him in any way that I could, but knowing that there wasn't much I could do in this moment.

"You're not leaving them, Ash. You could never leave them, they wouldn't even let you. Layla would tie you to a chair and Jake would help her with every step," I said to him, and he laughed a little through his tears. Even though we were comfortable being vulnerable around each other, he still always wanted to hide his tears from me- and everyone.

I reached up and put my hands on the sides of his face, gently turning him towards me. He hesitantly let his hands down, and met my gaze. Seeing the tears in his eyes brought some to mine, too, but I kept them in, needing to be the strong one in this moment.

He brought his hands up to hold onto my wrists as his watery eyes continued to look into mine. I knew that he knew that I saw him, and I mean really saw him.

"I miss them. So much- every fucking day," he choked out, and I knew he was talking about his parents. "I can't do this," he whispered, closing his eyes as another tear fell.

"Yes you can," I countered, but he shook his head and opened his eyes again, but kept them turned down. They were bloodshot, but it made the blue of his irises appear even more vivid.

"My dad asked me to take care of my mom, and my mom asked me to take care of my siblings, and I asked myself to take care of you," his eyes looked back up to mine, and I felt a tear fall down my own cheek as my eyes widened slightly at his words, realizing that he actually did really blame himself for what happened to me.