Hopelessly Falling [book 2]

Chapter Nine

IX
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~Crystals POV~

        "Why the fuck didn't you pick up your goddamn phone the first time I called?!" I yelled into the phone at Ashton, throwing my keys onto the passenger's seat.

"Well hello to you, too," he replied, wildly taken aback. "What's up? Is everything okay?"

"No everything is not okay. I'm losing my shit man," I rambled and I could feel my chest squeezing. "Remember that Cassidy chick? Yeah well apparently she had my brothers baby and I just met him."

"What the..?"

"Yeah, I know. What the fuck. I don't know what do to, I-"

"Okay well first, calm down. Breathe," he reminded me. I breathed in through my nose and out through my mouth, trying to calm myself down.

"What the hell am I supposed to do?" I said a few moments later, once I was a tiny bit calmer. "She said she wanted me to be the one to tell my mother.. But I'm really not in the mood to tell my mom that her only son, who also happened to have murdered the love of her life, took her first grandchild out of her life," I continued to rant.

"I mean, Crystal, you can't just not tell her.. she has a right to know-"

"Yes I know that! She should have known the second he was born. But he's 3 now. And I know how much this would absolutely break her. And I mean break her break her. Irreversibly so." My mind was an absolute storming hurricane, and the high winds were bursting words out of my mouth as I spoke.

"Ash, I know it would be downright wrong for me to not tell her. But a part of me would prefer to have myself be a terrible person if it meant that my mom wouldn't relapse and would be safe. What she doesn't know can't hurt her, so it would just be me that would feel absolutely shitty," I continued.

"Crystal, I get that you want to protect her.. but please don't purposely fuck yourself over just to protect her," he spoke. I paused.

"I just don't know what to do," I repeated myself, the tears finally coming to my eyes. "He's beautiful, you know," I told him and smiled. "His name is Connor, and he has big, blue eyes and a pure smile.. and I want to keep him in my life, you know? Like I want to keep him safe and happy and see him go through life and shit." There was a long pause, and I could tell he was taking it all in.

"Listen, I know this is difficult, and I get that you're trying to have everyone's best interest in mind.. but you have to tell her, C. Who knows- he could even be what saves her for good." He tried to reason with me. I took a deep breath.

"I know," I admitted. "I just need to wait a little bit and collect myself is all, and then I'll tell her."

"I don't think you'll regret it," he said. "Are you good? Cuz I can drive up right now if not," he offered and I smiled a little.

"I'm fine, Ash. But I'll be taking you up on that offer soon," I replied and there was another brief pause.

"Everything will be okay," He reaffirmed.

"I don't see how," I told him honestly. "I just feel bad for Connor, too. He didn't chose to be born into this sorry excuse of a family.."

"Okay.. when I say this please don't freak out on me," he started.

"That's a great way to start a sentence.." I commented sarcastically, scared at what he was about to say.

"Do you think you should visit your brother?" He asked cautiously. I froze, my heart dropping.