The Pianist - One Direction

Chapter 41

Zayn's POV

It wasn't like I waited for her to talk to me. After all, I was the one who was mad, or disappointed more like it. I was the one avoiding her. At least I thought so.

By sleeping at hotels instead of the bus next to hers so I didn't have to remember how it was sleeping next to her in our tight bunk beds, by waiting to show up until the last second possible so I didn't have to see her, by avoiding being close to her or even look at her during shows so I didn't have to hear her voice or risk eye-contact. Maybe I tried to ignore her. It was only to spare me the pain.

I had almost forgotten the colour of her eyes. Really. I remembered they were blue, but I couldn't see what shade of blue it was in front of me when I closed my eyes and it had just been about a week.

Actually, I didn't know what we were doing. Or what I felt towards her. Anger? Maybe, but that wasn't much like me. Even though I'd never admit it, not even to myself almost, I waited for her to do something. To talk to me, to tell me she hated this as much as I did, to slap me across the face and scream that I was acting stupid. But she was always hiding somewhere and it wasn't like I would look for her. Like I said; acting stupid. Both of us.

Still, when I turned around and saw her walk away from me that morning through the cloud of smoke that was flying around me, it hurt. She hadn't stopped to say anything. She just walked away. It was like she didn't actually care that we stopped talking. Thinking about how I was hiding, it was obvious that I cared.

I had dropped my cigarette to the ground and sighed. It was a bad idea to light it from the beginning. I hoped she hadn't seen it when she walked out. Maybe she saw me, and understood I had slept in the bus, and maybe she would talk to me later. Not if she saw me smoking again. Just like every day, I hoped one of us would do something before the day ended. Just like every day, I knew I wouldn't dare to. Somehow, not talking to her was a better pain than knowing for a certain that she hated me.

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Issy had returned to their bus just as we were driving away that morning. She had been away a long time since I had seen her before everybody else were awake. They seemed to believe it was strange I was the only one who knew which direction she had walked in.

We were at a new place, just barely seven hours of driving straight to the new arena. They were gathering us for a sound check but she wasn't there. I noticed her absence the minute I got on stage but I didn't say anything. I waited for someone else to ask for her. Josh soon asked if anybody knew where she was but no one did. Niall called her phone but Issy didn't pick up. I started to get anxious but stayed where I was instead of running around screaming her name like I wanted to.

"She probably fell asleep. Zayn, you saw her leave the bus early, didn't you?" Harry asked. I nodded. "That's it then. We'll just look for her in the dressing rooms." He stated. We all got off stage and went looking for her. We didn't have much time before they were going to let fans inside so we had to hurry up. I looked inside Lou's hair and makeup-room but none of them knew where she was. I continued in the same corridor and found one empty room next to the security's room. I closed that door again and opened the security's door, believing Paul hadn't gone out yet and knew where she was.

The room was quiet but the lights were on. A table with several chairs around it to my left. I opened the door further and saw a couch. The red hair was impossible to miss and my heart stopped for a second. She was asleep. I took one, careful, step inside and then another one. She slept on her side with a small wrinkle in her forehead. Her arms went around her body, as if she held herself together. She had a small blanket that only covered her legs, so it didn't help anything at all.