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Harry

"Hey," a voice says to me.

I lift my head up and see Lauren standing in front of me, dressed up in tight, leather pants and a cheetah print blouse. Fucking finally. I texted her last minute and was nervous she wouldn't show up on time, while Amelia is out with her co-workers for dinner.

"Hey," I gruffly answer.

I turn away in silence and call the elevator. I had to wait for her in the lobby to bring her up to our apartment - one of the downfalls of living in this complex. It was either this or have Lauren ask the front desk receptionist to send her up. I opted just to meet her so there was no middle person involved.

It's quiet as Lauren and I enter the elevator and ride it up to the apartment. Things have been awkward between us since those rumors came out about us having an affair together, mainly just on my behalf. I feel like I'm betraying Amelia. I can't think straight or function properly but I'm in too deep to back out.

"Thanks for coming last minute. I know you have plans afterwards," I tell Lauren once we reach the floor and exit the elevator. I lead us immediately to the bedroom, not wanting to waste any time.

"No problem. I knew it was important," Lauren says.

I nod and quickly scurry around in a weak attempt to clean up the mess I had made this morning. Normally I'm pretty clean but my head has been in the clouds lately so I haven't been in the mood to tidy up. I kick some old t-shirts out from behind the door, accidentally shutting it in the process, and shove them in my closet.

"Sorry," I sheepishly mumble.

"No worries. Let's just be quick, yeah? I don't want to be here when Amelia comes. You should have just brought it down to the lobby with you," Lauren says, a small smile on her face.

"Right, yeah," I say. "Sorry, that didn't even cross my mind. I've been so out of it lately..."

I walk over to Amelia's dresser and pluck her promise ring out of the velvet holder she keeps it in. She had forgotten to put it on today - or she didn't want to wear it because I've been a fucking asshole to her lately - but I was relieved, nonetheless, because I've been trying to get her ring size inconspicuously for a while now. She left the ring she used to wear on her ring finger at our home in California, and I forgot what her ring size was, so this was my next best option. I've been stressed, trying to figure out how to snag her promise ring without seeming suspicious about it. I didn't want to blow my whole plan but I know I've been doing a shit job of that recently.

I've known for a while now that I wanted to propose to Amelia. We had seldom talked about it but the idea only became a reality recently. I knew while I was away on tour that I wanted to actually do it at some point when I came home. Mitch and I started perusing rings in various shops in case the perfect one came along, but then I met Lauren.

Lauren had come to one of my shows in California with Kendall Jenner. The two are apparently good friends and Kendall introduced us briefly before the show started, when Amelia was already seated in the crowd. We got to casually talking and I found out that not only is Lauren an ambassador at Cartier, but her parents both work as lead designers there. I asked her if she could help me custom make a ring for Amelia and she was happy to oblige. I had reached out to her via direct message on Instagram once we were both back in New York and we got to planning straight away.

I started spiraling with ideas on Amelia's ring, as well as how to propose to her, a little while ago. It's been consuming me and eating away at my everyday thoughts. It's made me distant from Amelia, because I'm bloody terrible with surprises and I'm terrified she'll say no. I've just been so paranoid because when I was away from her while touring, I realized just how much I love her. I want to marry her and spend the rest of my life with her. I want to have kids together and ultimately grandchildren and great grandchildren. There is no one else out there for me. I only want her.

I turn around with the promise ring in hand and watch as Lauren pulls out a ring sizer from her purse. She then takes the ring from me and places it on the metal tool, sliding it down until it fits perfectly snug.

"Seven," Lauren tells me, looking down at the ring sizer in her hand. I nod and then take the ring back from her before placing it in it's respectful spot. "We're still set on the design, right? The one we finalized last week?"

I nod, thinking back to all those painful meetings with Lauren, and her parents, when we designed the ring. I wanted to be involved completely so I kept coming up with mock designs and her parents would tweak them and then let me look them over. It took a while to settle on one, but eventually we drew up a design that came to me in a dream.

It's a rose gold band with tiny diamonds embedded in it, all around. The center of it has a 3.5 carat oval cut diamond with smaller, different sized diamonds surrounding it. It resembles a flower, in a way, making me fall in love with it. I just hope Amelia likes it.

"Yeah," I confirm out loud. "Do you know how long it'll take to make?"

Lauren shrugs as I take a seat on the edge of the bed and look up at her.

"Dad already started cutting the diamonds so I'd say there's about 3 weeks left? The longest it would take is 6 weeks but I highly doubt it'll take that long," Lauren tells me.

I nod and then sigh heavily while shutting my eyes. I've been so overwhelmed lately with proposing. I don't know why though. It shouldn't be this stressful. I guess it's just because I want to give Amelia the absolute best. She deserves the whole world.

I feel Lauren hesitantly sit down beside me. I open my eyes back up and see her giving me a sympathetic look.

"How's it going with Amelia anyways?" She slowly asks me, very well knowing I've been stressed about how I've been treating Amelia recently. I've vented a couple of times to her because I hate lying to my girlfriend, and on top of that I know I've been pushing her away. I fucking forgot to say "I love you" to her for the first time when we went out with her friends and the look on her face nearly broke me. I was in such a rush to leave because Lauren needed me to sign off on something for the ring that she forgot to give me but that's not an excuse. I should have said it.

"I don't know," I answer honestly. "I didn't realize how stressed I would be about proposing to her. I just want it to be perfect, you know? I've spent a lot of time talking to Mitch, and my mum and sister, about it but simultaneously I've been spending less and less time with Amelia, and she knows it. I know she realizes I've been distant but I don't know how the fuck to fix it," 

I've spent so many night just thinking about where, when, and how to propose to Amelia. Do I want to do it here? Should I take her somewhere? Would she prefer something low-key or should I make it big and grand? 

And on top of that, I've been spending an obscene amount of time writing songs for her. I have two finished ones already, and about ten unfinished ones.  I thought I could give them to her as a gift at some point, or maybe cheesily throw them in during the proposal. I haven't figured out all the details yet. 

"Don't overthink it, Harry," Lauren tells me. "You can't put Amelia on the back burner now when you're planning on asking her to marry you, unless you were trying to purposefully be a dick so it's be more of a surprise but it's been months. Normally people just do that a couple days or weeks in advance, but that usually has a fifty-fifty shot at working,"  

"For fucks sake," I mutter. 

I huff and put my head in my hands but I almost immediately raise it when I hear the door to the bedroom open. And as luck would have it, like a real life horror movie, I see Amelia standing there in the doorway with a broken look on her face. 

...

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