𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 | 𝐞𝐧𝐡𝐲𝐩𝐞𝐧 𝐣𝐚𝐲

9: recovery

"𝐈𝐭'𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐚𝐤 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐦𝐨𝐢𝐥 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝,"

~🌙~

The seven of us sat down in our famous circle on the grass. Our faces were sunken, confused and awkward. Jungwon would try and start a conversation, but the small talk only went so far. Jake and Sunghoon sat throwing grass at each other, whilst Sunoo and Ni-ki took selfies together. I laid on my back staring at the sky. My most favourite canvas. 

Today, it was grey. The clouds were evident and dark. They waved in the wind as though they would release the rain at any second. The breeze was cold, raising the hairs on my skin. The sun that hid behind the clouds moved slowly across the sky and soon shadows became darker. 

At least an hour had passed where we stayed mulling about on the grass. It was almost silent, but comfortable. All I needed was them with me to be somewhat okay. It didn't matter what they did, or what I did. The company was soothing. 

I closed my eyes letting a growing sleep take over, but I was interrupted. Finally. 

"Jay-ah," Heeseung spoke. He got up from where he was sat and laid down next to me. His head rested near mine and he looked right at me. Me being the grumpy Jay I was, I turned my head to the other side so I didn't have to look at him. 

"Jay-ahhhh," he whined further. He wrapped his leg around my torso and an arm across my shoulders. Looking back, he gave me puppy dog eyes and a pouty lips. It was not a good look on him.

"Okay, okay! Please. Just no aegyo," I finally gave in. I sat up with a huff, running my hands through my hair to fix it. 

"Will you tell us now?" Heeseung asked sitting up next to me. 

"Tell you what?" 

"What happened at lunch?" 

The question sparked everyone's attention. The others, who were previously busy with their own antics stopped and brought themselves nearer. I appreciated their attentiveness and care and went on anyways. 

"Amy was a fraud," I put simply. 

"I knew it," Sunoo said rolling his eyes. Ni-ki nudged his arm to stop him, but I just laughed. 

"I wish I had too, but it's alright," 

"What did she say?" Sunghoon questioned with a caring eye. 

"Her father paid for her to get paired with us so she would pass the class, basically using us. WE only got a C, but that was pure gold for her," I explained. The boys looked astounded and betrayed. I just nodded along and continued. 

"Her friends assumed that she would use us further-," 

"But how?" the youngest said. I laughed at his curiosity, but also remembered that I needed to keep his young mind innocent. 

"Let's just say she has her own needs," I spoke slowly to avoid speculation, but it failed. 

"What kind of needs?" 

"Okay!" Jake interrupted with a shaky laugh, "We can talk about that another day. Please... Please talk about that another day. Let's just hear what Jay has to say." 

I thanked him and waited for Sunghoon to stop giggling in the back from Ni-ki's cluelessness. 

"Thankfully, Amy said she wouldn't use us for her ... needs. However, in saying that, she meant because we weren't worth her time and a few other adjectives that I need not repeat," I finished. My mouth turned up into a displeased smile and I let out a long breath. It felt good to talk about it with them, but at the same time I felt embarrassed. 

It was hard not to believe the words she said. 

An annoying pushover.

"She's horrible," Jungwon said, "Don't listen to her, Jay. She's just jealous and wasn't raised properly." 

"Yeah! She wasn't smart enough to pass the class without money, and even then she only got a C," Sunghoon rightly said. I laughed at the correctness of his sentence. Amy wasn't all she made herself out to be. There are more decent people in the world that I should concern myself with.

"A C is still a pass," Jake said and Heeseung glared at him. 

"What? It's true," 

"Jake-ah, you're too kind," I said. Part of it was sarcastic, but also commending. He always saw the bright side of the situation. It was frustrating because I just wanted him to agree with me. At the same time, his positivity helped me to get through it all. 

"Thank you, though," 

"Ahhh, don't think about it. That's what friends are for," he said as he patted my back. I smiled at him. After letting it all go, I felt better. Like he said, it was one grade amongst the endless sea of A grades - and that was only from this year. It was not the worst thing in the world. 

"Do you really think a C is a bad grade?" Sunoo piped up. Our heads snatched to see him looking a bit worried. 

"No, Sunoo-ah. It's a pass. I would just prefer an A," I replied.

"Yeah, and the three of us are known for our straight As in science. We can be slightly disappointed if our streak ends," Sunghoon said further. 

"Good..."

"Why do you ask?" Heeseung hyung asked.

"I think I failed PE," Sunoo came out with an embarrassed chuckle. The rest of us laughed along with him, teasing him for being worried. 

"Yah, it's alright to fail PE. It's not that important," I added

"I love PE!" Jake and Jungwon said in sync, which earned them even more laughter. 

"Okay, I revoke my statement," 

"Then what will it be instead Jay hyung?" Ni-ki asked with a raised brow. 

"If one has the capacity to pass PE... great. If not... also great," 

My comment seemed to make them laugh harder and soon the atmosphere went from awkward and sullen and back to its humorous air. I loved this atmosphere. The seven of us together were my rock. 

I felt as though I could get through anything - no matter how much life threw at me.

***

A/N: I hope you all had a good Christmas and New Years! Lots of love <3