The Boy With The Blank Stare: The Promise

Chapter Twenty Three: You Don't Know Me

Ouma's POV:

I picked at my food as Saihara's new silence continued, he was writing away on his notepads relentlessly, and I doubt he had taken even a bite of his food.

Must be important I guess...

I tried to ignore the silence and focused on the warm weather we were suprisingly having this time of year.

Half a year left of school till I graduate...huh...it doesn't feel right to be honest...

When did I get so old?

I set down my food and attempted soms conversation, I needed a distraction.

'My doctor told me some good news recently' I started nudging Saihara to get his attention.

"Oh?" Saihara asked but I could tell he probably wasn't paying that much attention, I held back disappointment as I tried to look happy.

'My leg, the damaged one, has been hurting a lot recently. I didn't know why, but apparently the treatment has finally started working. The nerves in my leg are finally sending signals back to my brain, doctor says that with enough physical therapy I could maybe start walking again. Might have a permanent limp though, I'll take that though over the wheelchair' I said happily.

Saihara dropped his pencil, "wait...really?" He asked shocked. I nodded and did my best to smile. 'It's so weird...I still can't move it much, but I'm hoping that next time I see Momota, I can walk into his room. Wouldn't that shock him?' I asked.

"He's going to lose his mind! This is great news Ouma I'm happy for you!" He said enthusiastically.

'Thanks, I wanted to tell my mother too actually, but she's been silent ever sincs she gave custody to my aunt...kind of worried...

'But what happened to you? You're writing so hard I bet you punctured holes in the paper by now.' I asked curious.

...

"You...you wouldn't understand" Saihara mumbled. "It's nothing, really, let's just celebrate-"

"D-Dont..." I tried to stop before I took another deep breath, calm down...focus on what we need to say...

"Don't do that...p-please..." I asked, "What do you mean?" Saihara asked, 'I mean saying I wouldn't understand or not telling me because I don't need to know. It's not fair you know?

'Why? Why should I be the only one whose allowed to be sad when something horrible happens? Why am I the only one who is got help when DICE died? Why do I have to be the one to share all their problems and thoughts when the people who listen can't even do the same. Momota never even told me he got sick till he had to go, Kiibo never told me he blamed himself for all these years, I didn't even know that Shirogane knew Nao!

'I don't want to be a leech anymore. I don't want to just take, I want to help so please.

'Let me be a good friend, even if I can't help just let me know so I don't have to feel so useless or like some kind of parasite.' I begged, I tried to make sure I wasn't crying, rubbing my eyes against my sleeve.

...

Saihara stuttered for a bit unsure "I...Ouma you aren't a leech alright? You aren't a leech! It's just that I don't want you to know-"

'Doesn't a friendship have to go both ways? You helped me, so let me help you" I pleaded.

Don't make me useless. Please don't.

"I really don't think you'll be able to help with this, you just wouldn't, couldn't-"

I bit my lip in anger, "if you really think that...you don't know me at all..." I spat out.

Saihara tried to respond but fell into silence as I silently cursed myself for being so pushy about this.

...

"It's...my Father. He came to visit me...he wanted to see how my progress with becoming a detective has gone, and he was less then pleased.

"But...he wasn't wrong. It's been a while but I'm no closer to revealing the truth than when I started. And I haven't changed Ouma, I'm still that weak and scared kid...the same person I was when my mother died...

"I need to be stronger. I need to solve this case, and I'm not going to hesitate anymore. I'm going to work as hard as I can till the day you can rest easy knowing that man is rotting away in prison for the rest of his life, and all the people who might have been involved brought to justice." Saihara declared with a strong sense of determination.

I smiled a little, 'I don't think a weak kid could say things like that' I teased. 'Just take care of yourself alright?' I asked. He paused thinking it over, "and I don't think a leech would be able to offer me support" he added.

...

'Guess not huh?'