The Boy With The Blank Stare: The Promise

Chapter Nine: The Truth

Ouma's POV:

"I have to go" Saihara mumbled, "come back to do...whatever soon," I told him, "next week ok? As soon as I'm done" he promised, "yeah yeah I'm holding you to that" I threatened.

I heard the door open and a loud gasp, "K-Kiibo?" Saihara asked, my eyes widened.

"W-what happened to you Ouma?" 

All previous feelings of easiness had escaped from the room with those words, leaving the dry air and a silence that was only broken by the sound of our breathing and the occasional sounds from outside my room.

I could barely breathe, the blood had drained from my face as a chill filled my entire body, is this fear...? I don't...how am I supposed to...? "Kiibo..." Saihara started, his voice was unsure and I could hear the subtle kicks he made into the floor. 

"What happened? I heard you two say DICE was tortured?! I don't understand, please...please...please tell me anything! I want to- I need to know what happened to you Ouma, you're my family! I...I need to know what happened...if Otome..." he started before some choked sobs overcame him.

Tsuki...you had such a big crush on him...I...I wish I could have told you he must have felt the same...did you know in those final days...? Momota...he mentioned something about a date the two of you were planning...so I guess you must have...

"DICE..." Saihara started before pausing, I felt him gently squeeze my shoulder as if looking for some kind of reassurance in what he was about to do, my eyes widened. Kiibo is going to know. Kiibo is going to have to know what really happened that day. Kiibo...

...

...

...

"Ouma?" Saihara asked before I took in a deep breath if he has to know...I want to be the one...no...I have to be the one...

"D-DICE...D-D-DICE was..." I started, the words were twisting and I could barely hear them myself, "it's ok Ouma...you don't have to be the one to say it if you can't...I can tell him for you..." he offered, even though his tone was gentle and held nothing but quiet respect it still felt like a small dagger had buried itself within me.

Why...why am I still weak...? I managed to tell it to him...so why...? Why can't I do this...?

"DICE...Kiibo close the door, alright? We shouldn't let your mother hear this" Saihara suggested, I heard the door creak close, "she's not here, my father is down in the basement...he might hear though through the vents if we're loud..." Kiibo told him. 

"We'll be fine then..." Saihara sighed with relief, as he cleared his throat. "DICE...the incident you told me Kiibo, you remember?" he asked, "the suicide...the suicide pact from four years ago...that's what you're referring to right?" he asked, "I'm sorry for bringing it up Ouma..." he quickly added. I didn't respond, I just felt my nails digging deeper into my arm.

Saihara continued, "that was a lie Kiibo," he told him gently, but I doubt no matter how softly he told him that the words wouldn't have cut him any less than if he had screamed it at him, "w-what...what do you mean?!" Kiibo asked, "d-does that mean...is DICE...is Otome...? A-Are they still a-alive...?" Kiibo asked, his voice filling with a silent but desperate hope as the dagger only continued to dig itself deeper inside of me.

I bit my tongue, I could taste blood inside my mouth.

Saihara...he hasn't responded to his question...I gripped my hands tightly, "DICE isn't here...they're gone...they're still gone...I'm...I'm sorry" I mumbled, as I felt a small stream of tears escape my eyes. Kiibo didn't respond for a while, I...what kind of face are you making? What kind of hope did I destroy...? Why...? I wish you could have held it...I wish I could have told you what you wanted...needed to hear...

That would be the ideal reality...wouldn't it?

"Oh...I'm sorry...it was stupid of me to...I j-just...I j-just..." Kiibo started before I heard him sniffing, "I...I just had some hope...is all...I'm sorry...I didn't think of...I'm still not thinking of your feelings...we can...we can stop talking about this now...if it's hurting you...I don't want to bring up any more painful memories..."

Painful...?

"We can discuss this alone if you want Ouma...just me and Saihara...he seems to know everything...so it should be fine...right?" Kiibo asked, Saihara returned to kicking the floor before he touched the chair, "we can...if Ouma wants that..." he said carefully.

No...

"Ok...let's take him to the living room then-" 

"NO!" I screamed, my voice escaping me, I could feel myself trembling but I didn't care, "DICE...DICE don't bring me pain...they've never...I miss them...I m-miss them e-every day...but s-still...I..." I took a deep breath, the memory of their smiles embedded in my mind, "t-thinking...thinking of forgetting them...o-of no o-one remember them...of n-no one every knowing w-what really happened..." I started, I could feel whatever confidence and strength in my voice escaping me.

Give me strength...please..."DICE...DICE was murdered...m-murdered by o-our s-substitute teacher...m-murdered...a-and torn apart b-beyond recognition...the t-truth was buried...and t-they lied...t-they lied to everyone...that w-we had tried t-to commit suicide...t-that we...they weren't..." I felt myself growing weak as I tried to regain my energy

"Kichi..."

"DICE..." I mumbled when the world stole me away again into a restless quiet.