The Boy With The Blank Stare: The Promise

Chapter Forty: The Difference

Ouma's POV:

It was a bit disappointing when Kiibo was the only one to walk home with me, but I knew whatever Saihara was doing had to be important.

Saihara...I guess I can call him Shuichi now huh...?

"It's been a while since we could just talk one on one huh?" Kiibo asked, I paused and shrugged unsure, "hey...I've been meaning to ask but, even after therapy and all...will you still use sign language?" Kiibo asked.

I paused, 'I don't know, it's not very popular and people get confused on why I use it when I'm not deaf, but I still prefer it to well speaking' I told him.

"That makes sense...it would be tough having to depend on a language no one understands" Kiibo said, it made me uncomfortable the way he phrased it though...

'I'm not dependent on sign language' I told him, "weren't you kind of though? I guess not on the same level as Jin but..." Kiibo tried to reason but seemed to dial himself down.

"I'm sorry I'm doing it again huh? Like when we were on the street...when Akamatsu took your headphones..." Kiibo started but then stopped.

'You guys kept saying I was helpless' I noted. "It's because-"

'I wasn't though, I mean at the beginning when I woke up life was challenging because I didn't know how to do some things anymore and had to adapt but helpless? I'd like to think I'm not.' I scolded but I wondered if I was coming off to harsh.

"I'm sorry, just forget I said anything alright? Me and my big mouth..." Kiibo cursed.

'I just don't like being called that anymore, it's like if I'm not the same person I used to be then I'm just unable to function. But I can Kiibo, some things like reading labels without braille or the first days when I finally don't have to use a wheelchair anymore will be all I really need help with' I insisted.

"Does that mean you're going to move out when the year is over? This town is awful to you so I wouldn't blame you if you never came back" Kiibo asked.

'Don't know that yet, don't know what I'm going to do outside of high school yet, I do want to get out of here...I really do' I admitted but it felt strange.

When I leave there really will be nothing left of DICE here.

"Saihara will think of something for you, he always seems to have your best interests at heart" Kiibo assured.

'I don't want him to have to do everything though, otherwise that means I haven't changed or grown at all' I said.

"I think you've grown a few inches" Kiibo told me, 'wasn't what I meant' I told him as I sighed.

'Forget it' I eventually said dropping it, "but I want to know what you meant! You're talking about you changing right? I mean most of the changes before seemed negative so you want something more positive right? I mean actually you don't lie as much anymore guess that's a positive" Kiibo offered.

I held back my annoyance, 'not all negative' I told him, 'but yeah more positive things would be nice'.

"I wish your Mom got to see you like this" Kiibo remorsed, I flinched but nodded slightly.

"Look I get loss so-" he said but my temper finally rose to it's boiling point, 'course you would, I'm mourning the same girl' I told him.

"I didn't-" Kiibo started but I shook my head, 'Kiibo both your parents are alive and love you alright? I don't have any of my parents and they weren't great ones at that so I'm sorry but I don't think you can help or understand where I'm coming from' I lashed out.

"But Saihara can?" Kiibo asked with a slight hint of sadness, 'Saihara gets part of it because he lost his mom, even if they were closer than my mom and I could have ever been' I told him.

"You know you can talk to more people than just him though right?" He asked.

...'not really, because Momota and him didn't make me forget the things that hurt me' I said but I immediately felt regret.

Kiibo was silent the rest of the way.