tryst [sequel] // h.s

37

You do shit on purpose
You get mad and you break things
Feel bad, try to fix things
But you're perfect, poorly wired circuit
And got hands like an ocean
Push you out, pull you back in

'Cause you don't, judge me
'Cause if you did, baby, I would judge you too
No you don't, judge me
'Cause if you did, baby, I would judge you too

'Cause I got issues, but you got 'em too
So give 'em all to me and I'll give mine to you
Bask in the glory, of all our problems
'Cause we got the kind of love it takes to solve 'em
Yeah, I got issues
And one of them is how bad I need you

song: issues by Julia Michaels

(a/n: not meant to be played while reading)

Chapter thirty seven

Harry

I'm furious.

I'm absolutely outraged by what's going on right now and I can't seem to find anything to calm myself down. This is utterly unnecessary and infuriating me to the point I feel like punching something but I have to behave.

I honestly can't believe this is what we are dealing with now but I have to remain calm and not blow up before Zara arrives, which I can already tell it won't be pretty.

Cassie managed to get her a flight from where she is on time and all she had to do was get herself to the airport and board it. Thanks to the check-in online and the flight status we were able to confirm she had boarded the plane but now we have to prevent her from hiding when she gets here.

One of the main reasons as to why I'm this mad is because they said it wouldn't be a good idea for me to be the one waiting for her. They all decided to list all of the bad things and possible scenarios that could go wrong straight in my face.

So here I am, waiting like a fool when I know my girlfriend is possibly running away again under the hard stare of her best friend, brother, and mother. I feel cornered and like they are all judging me but this time I did nothing wrong.

I mean, I did but it's not the reason why she decided to flee the country and disappear for two weeks, I don't know what happened right after Christmas, it's just like last year, she left for no reason but this time it was different.

She didn't surround herself with other people and she didn't block my number, we didn't talk but at least this time I wasn't the only one she didn't want to face.

I noticed how quiet she was on Christmas and the nightmare she had that night was pretty bad, she felt a bit ashamed for having woken up the rest while crying so I didn't want to pressure her into talking but maybe I should have.

Now it's too late to think about things I could have done or say but I can only hope she's okay and soon she'll be back by my side, where I can keep an eye on her.

I wanted to be mad at her, for being so irresponsible, for not taking care of herself and doing things to hurt herself but I can't, no when I can see she's struggling. She obviously needs space and time and I don't want her to feel like I'm pushing her into nothing, all I want is for her to be safe.

I should have gotten mad at her for lying, for saying she was with her family when she was more than 3500 kilometers away, alone, and suffering in silence. I should have gotten mad when she didn't pick up any of my thousands of calls, when she didn't reply to any of my millions of texts, when she ignored all of my voicemails.