tryst [sequel] // h.s

52

Can't see when I'm fallin', losing myself
But then I hear you calling

There you are, there you are
You're there with open arms
There you are, there you are
And I run

Only you know me the way you know me
Only you forgive me when I'm sorry
Even when I messed it up
There you are

Chapter fifty two

Harry

My girlfriend is a true-born angel.

I don't know what I have done to deserve all of her attention, care, and love but I'll keep on doing it because she is the best thing that has ever happened to me.

I have had an endless number of great opportunities, in many different situations but being with Zara is truly one of the best things in my life and I don't want this to change ever.

She has been with me for two weeks since the whole Zayn leaving mess started and I will be forever thankful that she has been around me because it hasn't been the easiest times, not for me, the band, or the rest of the crew.

Zara took on the most roles I've ever seen her do and she was there for everything and everyone they needed. You would assume with a person less to cover, represent, feed, employ, etc. you'd have less work but Zayn leaving caused chaos.

I have no idea how Zara has managed to keep her cool during these two weeks because I've been the most irritable I've been in my entire life. She put up with me and my mood swings, I haven't been the easiest but she hasn't yelled at me so far and that's good.

I don't know what's happening with me but I have felt the need to cry, which didn't happen before and I hate not being in control of my emotions. I know I have to be strong in case anything happens with Zara but our ''usual'' roles are inverted right now.

While I needed to be held and contained she has been taking care of me in every way she can but she still hasn't managed to get me talking. I know I will eventually have to deal with my emotions and confront whatever it is that I have been going through these past few days but I don't want to talk about it.

She already saw me crying and that was enough, I don't like to feel like that. I know there's nothing wrong with it but we don't work like that, and we don't need to be worrying her. The last thing Zara needs is to worry about me.

Mental health-wise, she's been doing amazing and she wakes up pretty early to have her bi-weekly sessions with her therapist, which seems to relieve most of her tension but she's doing very well.

Ever since I've known Zara she's been pretty independent, in every aspect of her life aside from the emotional one, she is self-sufficient on her own and I have admired her for it from the beginning. She got a little sidetracked in the middle but she's slowly taking back the control over her life and I couldn't be prouder.

She doesn't need me anymore, she says that she does but I get the feeling she says it in order to make me feel better about myself. I take pride in taking care of her, and her saying that she needs me makes me feel loved and appreciated but I know her, and I can see her, along with her growth, she doesn't need me.

This leads to the greatest part of our relationship though, since she doesn't need me it means that I'm not a necessity to her and I can easily be replaced but somehow she chooses me to be by her side, and that's far more valuable than anything she could ever say.

Zara is on her own right now, I am the one she picked to be with her, and that makes me the luckiest guy in the world.

A woman that doesn't need you is much more dangerous than the one saying they need you all the time because she can get anything she wants by her own means and you have to prove yourself worthy of her by providing that tiny percentage of what she can't get by herself.