tryst [sequel] // h.s

28

tw: mention of eating disorders

Chapter twenty eight

Zara

If I was already freaking out about Harry bringing up unnecessary topics into our conversation, now that I have a real-life problem I'm about to reach my breaking point.

Landing in London was chaotic and the entire flight until here was a true odyssey.

Twelve hours of pure anxious thoughts whilst barely enjoying the ride because I still get nervous every time I fly. I was already feeling nauseous before takeoff and the entire ride I didn't manage to close my eyes for more than ten minutes because my head started playing every possible scenario to happen and what could go wrong.

The last thing on my mind was the actual flight, the plane falling down didn't sound so bad. It's one of my fears when flying - irrational because how would I be able to prevent it anyway, right?

I started spiraling back and my hands didn't stop shaking, my eyes stared into nothing for a good while as I chipped my nail polish off from the nerves.

Harry was my salvation, I would have had a panic attack on the spot if it weren't because he was there, holding my hand tightly and giving me reassuring strokes on my head, letting me lay on his chest and soothing my anxious and tortuous thoughts with his voice.

I was irritable, nervous, panicking, and basically a bitch. I blamed him for everything, wrongly because it's obviously not his fault but it was easier to pin this on someone else and blow off some steam on the nearest person than calm down.

He took everything, he let me say all of these mean things to him without reciprocating anything back because he knew I wasn't in the right state of mind so he settled on comforting me.

It was very wrong of me and I immediately felt bad after because he didn't deserve any of my rage, it's not his fault and I had that very clear but I just wasn't thinking straight. I apologized immediately after and he forgave me right away but that lingering guilty feeling stayed there.

Only to be completely taken over by more desperate thoughts until I realized there was nothing I could do about it by worrying obsessively around the same issue. It would not have done me any good if only, it would've made matters worse.

Around hour-seven out of twelve, he came to the conclusion Cassie would know what to do. That she most likely already saw that and that she was already in crafting something for me to be safe when we both arrived home.

He was right.

As soon as we landed and I turned on my phone, not only it blew up in notifications from every possible social media app I have on my phone, I also had a text from Cassie, piling up with hundreds, if not thousands of texts from other people.

Harry straight up decided he wouldn't turn on his phone until later. It was one am when we arrived because of the time difference and thankfully there weren't many people going around the airport but outside there was this sea of photographers waiting for the rumor to be confirmed and have the exclusive.

Thankfully, as soon as I stepped down the plane, the first person I encountered was Cassie. I don't know how she did it, how she managed to get to that side of the terminal on Heathrow but the important thing was that she was there and she had a plan.

To say I was conscious enough to remember anything, would be a blatant lie because I was already sleep-deprived, anxious, and borderline panicking so everything happened in a flash and the memories about it were a blur.