tryst [sequel] // h.s

26

Chapter twenty six

Harry

''...and he just, I got so scared because it looked like...-I did this to him and he was crying. I didn't know what to do.''

As soon as I approach the office on the second floor, where Zara is having her facetime therapy session, I hear her sobbings and my heart stops.

I shouldn't be eavesdropping but I thought her session would be over by now and I can't help to caution now that I've heard this so I lean back on the hallways with my back flat to the wall.

''Zara, this is not your fault-''

''Yes, it is. He's just so afraid I'm gonna leave him and I get it because I feel the same but I know he loves me and I love him but...'' She drowns herself in another breathy sob, making me feel completely guilty.

I want to go inside, tell her that it's fine and that I'm okay, reassure her all of my love but this is private, confidential and I shouldn't be here so I turn around on my feet and regretfully walk back to our bedroom.

Her therapist seems to calm her down as I wish I could do something about it too but the truth is, I can't.

Now I find myself with the dilemma of telling her that I heard her or not. None of them is assured to bring me a good outcome. If I tell her that I heard, it's gonna make her uncomfortable. If I don't then it means I have to lie, the last thing I want to do right now.

I didn't even intend to sneak on her but I just got home from getting food and some other groceries and I thought she'd be done. She told me it was only an hour long and I spent a little over an hour and a half long but maybe it was prolonged.

I assume it had to do with me because she sounded pretty preoccupied because of what happened this morning but she took it so well, I never expected to make such an impact on her but I guess we both worry for each other.

As I go back to the ground floor, I send a text, letting her know that I'm home so she doesn't get scared. Hopefully, I have a bit of time to think of a plan to tell her that I heard her because there's no way I'm lying to her.

We have been managing pretty okay so far and this transparency, although is more prone from my side than hers lately, is a game-changer. There's no other way than to tell her how I feel and be honest, hope for her to return it to me.

I think she likes this side of me, laid back and chill. She's anxious enough for the both of us so I guess we complement each other very well and that's what is getting us through our relationship.

It's true when they say it's about finding balance and I'm glad we're slowly learning to find ours, even if it's just a small step.

She's more open with her feelings, that's true and I see improvement on her side but I still have so much to learn as well. I got scared of losing her and I became irrational again and I don't like it, at all.

I don't want to be that man for her.

I pressured her into talking, accusing her of something -not too insane to think about- but that I shouldn't have brought up anyway and she stood up for herself, clearly telling me I was wrong.

It's been a while since I've last seen her cry because she was sad or upset. Yesterday she cried but they were happy tears so it doesn't count but today she did cry and it was my fault. I've upset her but it wasn't my fault, I woke up feeling paranoid and maybe I was having a nightmare or whatever, but in the end, it was because of me.

She's such a sensitive girl, she internalizes everything and I knew that but perhaps I underestimated her feelings for me and she's as whipped for me as I am for her, even if that sounds impossible because she literally owns me.