tryst [sequel] // h.s

34

Chapter thirty four

Zara

Do you ever feel like the black sheep of your family?

No one understands you, your opinions are off track and everything you do is frowned upon. You don't share values, you don't see the world in the same way and it leads to a huge disagreement, sometimes you even get judged.

As soon as I stepped inside my mom's house, that comfort I had from being on my own vanished. She cried so much, she wasn't expecting me to show at her doorstep out of nowhere, after all, I said I'd be spending New Year's with them so I came a week earlier than expected.

My sisters were thrilled to have me home as well, even more, when I had to unload the bags out of my car filled with presents for them. Most of the gifts I got were gift cards filled with money for them because it's easier to solve and we don't have the same taste in clothes but I managed to get them a few more things as well, hence the big bags.

Now my dad was a completely different story, he hugged me as well but it was over before it even started but I wasn't going to complain. We don't have a good relationship and that's very clear, it's useless to solve and if he's not trying then I won't be bothered either. We've been civil for three days but that's because we've been actively avoiding each other.

Tonight we have dinner and it will be the real test but I've already been keeping my mouth shut, helping my mum around the house as much as I can. My dad does the littlest when it comes to helping around the house and that annoys me because I can see how hard my mum works for us.

The prodigal son hasn't come home yet but he'll probably make his great entrance soon and all the attention will go to him, which I honestly need because everyone is breathing down my neck and I can't stand it.

Being the middle child of five siblings kinda gave me that status, the invisible one and I love it.

At first, it was annoying because my older sister gets the last word just because she's older, Zayn gets his praise just because he is the only guy between us, and my two little sisters get their attention because they are the ones still living at home and also the younger ones.

Then there's me.

I got used to being on my own since I was a child, not even when I was born. My parents' attention was divided between me and Zayn and then it got passed onto my younger sister and then the youngest.

I never felt stranded, on the contrary, I managed how to do things by my own means and be by myself a lot of the time and I got used to it. That's how I managed to get my independence but when I became a teenager it became a problem, at least for my dad.

He realized I had steered clear from most of his values, even when I never questioned them, that just wasn't me. I became self-sufficient at a very young age and I started working for my things and needs when I was fifteen, even when I had been babysitting years before.

Then when I moved out at seventeen, any sort of control or power he had over me, ended. He was very proud of my achievements but before we could patch our relationship I was gone. I haven't been home for more than a week in four years and a half and it's not like I'm going to live with them again.

There comes a time in which you can't go back to live with your parents and that happened when I was very young, added to the fact that I wanted to get away from my hometown even if I didn't make it big when on the show.

English people, mostly in the countryside tend to remain in the same place for the rest of their lives and since I've always felt different from my family, I wanted to leave, see the world and move away. Even if it was just to the nearest big city, I wanted out.